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+--- Thread: The fucking nut case living next door to me - Needs to be taught a lesson... (/showthread.php?tid=5085)
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- Buttmunch - 01-27-2003
I need help with a genuine nut case.
My neighbor is crazy. I mean, she often discusses the time that space aliens abducted her. No shit, really nuts.
Well, my problem is her obsessive compulsive disorder. Never mind that she sweeps 24 hours a day, or that she rearranges my garbage and recyclables, but she did something recently that has put me over the edge.
It started with a Christmas tree. Not mine, mind you, but some random fucking tree. It appeared next to where I park my car behind the house. I moved it to the opposite side of the parking lot, where the fucking garbage cans are kept, and it got up and walked back to the side of my car. I kept moving it back to the designated garbage area and every time I looked out of the window, it was back beside my car. So, last Monday, I moved it to the front of the house for collection, even though it isn’t my tree. I went inside, and ten minutes later when I came out, it was turned the opposite way. I turned it back so it didn’t block the driveway. She moved it back. Later that night, around 1 a.m. she got into a fight with my next door neighbor, because she put it in front of his house. So, anywho, the next day, the tree is collected. End of story? I think not.
I change my own oil. I have a container to collect the oil that I choose not to store in the house. I thought it made sense to keep it by the garbage and recyclables. The crazy lady thinks not. She began putting it where I park. I would have to get out of my car, move the can, and then park. But, then she’s just put it behind my car when I’m not looking. I began to move the can all over the property, just to piss her off. But, it would always come back to be behind my car. She also put a half full coolant container behind my chick’s car. Finally, on Saturday, I went to Home Depot and bought 3 feet of 1/4" chain and a lock. I loosely locked the fucking oil container to the fence. She moved it within 15 minutes to the extreme range of the chain. Big deal she moved it a foot. So, seeing that I’m getting a bit perplexed at this situation, I locked the coolant can and the oil can as tightly as I could to the fence. Aha, I thought, now you can’t move it at all. Na na na. This morning, I found the coolant container behind Jen’s car again. It had been cut through with a hack saw.
Keep in mind that this lady is nuts. I often see her walking the streets, randomly going through complete strangers’ garbage cans. She sweeps the sidewalk 24 hour hours a day. My front lawn, is completely dirt, because she has swept the grass away. She often complains of being shot by alien laser beams. I could go on and on, but you probably aren’t even reading this far.
Now, being as you are all sick fucks, skilled in the art of revenge, what should I do? How do you REALLY fuck with a person with OCD? Mind you, this property is NOT her property.
- Weird NJ - 01-27-2003
Get a restraining order and a camera monitoring your property. This should get her locked up.
- Jack - 01-27-2003
Break the broom, buy dozens of lawn ornaments and arrange them in an ugly fashion, leave feces on her front porch (make sure its the kind she will have to mop up, not just sweep away), and leave an envelope with letters cut out of a magazine pasted to a page to form the message: "were coming back". Make sure you find one of the images of an alien head to put below the message.
- Goatweed - 01-27-2003
just shoot her, I doubt she'll be missed.
- Danked - 01-27-2003
Suck to be you.
- Sweet Angel - 01-27-2003
I like Jack's idea.
- PatCooper - 01-27-2003
I say fuck her. That'll really piss her off.
- Mad - 01-27-2003
Crazy Glue all of her tools together. Also do her locks up while you're at it, both car and house. Move her garbage can from it's spot and fill with water. Get a huge bag of pop corn and throw some of it on her lawn at different times of the day.
Get her phone number and post it to different message boards with the message talk to real aliens for FREE.
- SBB - 01-27-2003
Next time you change the oil, accidently spill some on her lawn/driveway.
Cover her door handles in Vasiline
three words: Pungee Tiger Pit
- LZMF1 - 01-27-2003
laser pointers are always fun to use when you want to mess with people.
wait for her to leave her place and break off a few pencil tips in the key hole of her lock. this can be done to her car too
get a bucket and fill it with filthy skanky water. lean the bucket on her door.........ring her doorbell and run.
get some small pebbles. small enough to fit inside the valve caps on the tires of her car. pop a pebble into each of her valve covers. she'll be driving around with 4 slowly leaking tires........who knows where she'll be when they all go flat. ;-)
get a bag of gummi bears and a lighter...when she isn't home cover her door and door knob with melted gummi bears. (this was a fav of mine in high school)
Edited By LZMF1 on 1043760231
- PatCooper - 01-28-2003
Did you ever think that this is her way of getting revenge on you for something you may have done to her?
- diceisgod - 01-28-2003
Fill her cunt with quick dry cement.
- Sweet Angel - 01-28-2003
Wow, you guys are scary. I hope you never become MY neighbors! :bow:
- LZMF1 - 01-28-2003
SA you'd luv it if i lived next door to you. your dogs would too!
- Sweet Angel - 01-28-2003
Ha ha. This is true! As an added bonus, if I ever ran out of alcohol, I could always go next door and borrow some. :thumbs-up:
- LZMF1 - 01-28-2003
:toast:
- Gooch - 01-29-2003
send her a picture of the 9/11 terrorists and circle Mohammed Atta.
- Buttmunch - 01-30-2003
It was Marwan Al-Shehhi.
- Hey Ladi - 01-30-2003
so what'd you do?
I think you should glue pennies to her sidewalk
if she swept away all the grass,
she'll certainly spend hours trying to pry them up
uicide: hurry while it's still reeeeeeally cold
- Ronin - 01-30-2003
Did you ever see the Brady episode with the flying saucer? I say you do that and freak her out.