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+--- Thread: I couldnt help but chuckle (/showthread.php?tid=925)
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- HedCold - 03-27-2002
Quote:last week i was at a friends house, we were flipping through the channels and came across the funniest fucking thing ive ever seen in my life. the paralympics, it was the cripples of USA vs the cripples of some other country. they either had one leg or they were paralized. they were sitting on lil scooters going across the ice. it was greatwere they playing hockey? i saw something on a&e where it was like the us vs china i think in cripple hockey. it was hysterical.
- Galt - 03-27-2002
yeah, I saw that the other day. Priceless. It was like that episode of Family Guy at the Special Olympics
"You'll cry, you'll cheer, in fact you might get a cheap laugh or two. In fact after today, I'm pretty sure we're all going to hell"
I got another one. I was walking home from my garage one night after work a couple years ago, when while I was waiting on an island in the middle of a huge intersection in downtown Boston, this guy tapped me on the shoulder and asked me for directions.
I immediately looked at the guy he was standing with, who was so blind, that he might not have had any eyes. I couldn't get my focus off this poor soul with caved in eye sockets. So as I'm pointing off these complex directions filled with "take a right on X street, you'll cross Y, then about two blocks maybe three, you'll see, blah blah blah". They were about a quarter of a mile from where they wanted to go, and because I had to think about the direcitons to make sure I was correct, it took me a minute or two to realize that the guy I was talking to HAD NO EYES EITHER!!!
So I stop giving directions, and I point and laugh at them, since they can't see it. How the fuck did these people get to this intersection? Why was one blind guy asking for directions while the other blind guy tagged along? It was literally the blind leading the blind. But I decide to be nice. I don't remind the guy that he's blind, but now I'm so self conscious. How am I supposed to point out landmarks? Do blind people know right from left? Do they know how long 500 feet is? I'm giving directions like a 3 year old.
I'm jnow all confused. I tell the guy to back up because a bus is coming, and I gotta get my bearings back. This conversation ensues
"What kind of bus is it?"
"It's a public bus, you know the T bus."
"What's on the side"
(Dude how the fuck did he know there was something on the side -- is he faking?)"Umm It's Ricki Lake ad"
"Yeah, but what does the bus say?"
"Weekdays at 3; channel 25"
Now a few seconds later, I realized that he was probably asking the NUMBER of the bus, because he realized talking to me was about as productive as Playboy Magazine, and he hoped that he him and his concave socketed friend could just take the bus there.
I then started to feel shame in my incompetance. So I just said, fuck it. I'll just walk there. So I spent another 10 minutes walking with these people lagging behind me as I escorted them to the subway station they were looking for.
The whole time I had this big shiteating grin as I thought of how funny it would be if I just started walking real fast and lost them, or if I tripped them, or if I told them to take a left here, and watch them step into traffic, or just had them walk in circles. If I just kept taking lefts, may times around the block until they caught on?
What's the purpose of the crippled if not for our amusment?