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+--- Thread: Random Shit (/showthread.php?tid=11985)
- GonzoStyle - 08-25-2006
I totally regained all respect for you with that post
- Goatweed - 08-25-2006
does it top Nordberg?
- Goatweed - 08-25-2006
wait, you lost respect wtf!
- Rooner - 08-25-2006
Rooner Wrote:Im just saying goat, does he treat you how you want to be treated? How you DESERVE to be treated? Does he do all those little things that used to mean so much? I can give that back to you goat. I can make you feel special again.
Come on, do you realize how much ass I used to get with lines like these? And Im giving them to you. All for you goat.
- Goatweed - 08-25-2006
Rooner Wrote:Rooner Wrote:Im just saying goat, does he treat you how you want to be treated? How you DESERVE to be treated? Does he do all those little things that used to mean so much? I can give that back to you goat. I can make you feel special again.
Come on, do you realize how much ass I used to get with lines like these? And Im giving them to you. All for you goat.
you're not gettin' this ass, sorry.
if only Trish had been this easy
igh:
- Rooner - 08-25-2006
Goatweed Wrote:Rooner Wrote:Rooner Wrote:Im just saying goat, does he treat you how you want to be treated? How you DESERVE to be treated? Does he do all those little things that used to mean so much? I can give that back to you goat. I can make you feel special again.
Come on, do you realize how much ass I used to get with lines like these? And Im giving them to you. All for you goat.
you're not gettin' this ass, sorry.
if only Trish had been this easy
Come on, you know you want it. Dont fight it. Its so much easier when you dont fight.
- GonzoStyle - 08-25-2006
Goatweed Wrote:does it top Nordberg?
nordberg was your sgt. peppers
that last one was more of the abbey road.
- Goatweed - 08-25-2006
GonzoStyle Wrote:Goatweed Wrote:does it top Nordberg?
nordberg was your sgt. peppers
that last one was more of the abbey road.
I'm honored to be compared with such classics.
- GonzoStyle - 08-25-2006
well it's not really a comparison, more of an analogy for the level of creativity which you alone possess.
- Goatweed - 08-25-2006
so since that was my Abbey Road, I guess I should retire now?
- GonzoStyle - 08-25-2006
while they recorded abbey last they actually released let it be as their last (even though it was done before abbey). So you may have some pre-recorded material to still release.
- Goatweed - 08-25-2006
I'll just need a Phil Spector to help me out.
- GonzoStyle - 08-25-2006
or shoot you
- Galt - 08-25-2006
I hate my job. I can’t stand traveling every week and I don’t even have a family, or a wife, or a girlfriend, or even a fuckbuddy, or any prospects whatsoever for any of the above. Oh, I’m so lonely. I’m going to die alone. Where was I? Right, I can’t imagine how the many married people in my firm manage this career. Their families must hate them, and their kids will most certainly grow to resent them, rebel against them, and will most likely become junkies trading blow jobs for a fix. Being a consultant can be a cool job. But it’s easily the worst career ever. I spent exactly four nights in my own bed during the lsat month. Someone please kill me, or at least get me a new job in New York where I can actually do something enjoyable and not work 80 hour weeks)
May I present the top 10 things I hate about airline travel:
1. People who have apparently never gone through security check-in before. Not only the people who don’t dress realizing they are going to be going through check-in (don’t wear a belt; don’t wear shoes that are a chore to remove; don’t wear 9 layers of clothes that you have to remove before you go through check-in, take liquids out of your carry-on) but also those who sit in the security line for 30 minutes and don’t start to remove their watch or take off their belt or loosen their shoes until the last possible moment, right when they are front of the line. This is when they get all rushed and have to be told to take their lap-top out of their bag and remove their shoes, and blah blah. So then the rest of us have to sit and wait 5 minutes for them to get all their shit off. And they are always surprised, and NEVER are successful in removing everything they are supposed to remove the first time. Then they go through the gate and it beeps “Oops, I forgot my watch”, “ohh, you mean I need to take off this 3 pound gold necklace?” “Oh, I can’t bring my giant Texas beltbuckle with the 3 inch shiv on the plane?” I can pick them out while in line. I know who is going to take 3 tries and 5 minutes to get through security before they do. An offshoot of these people are those who need a separate bin for everything they own. They’ll go through 8 bins because they’re like children with food who don’t want their shoes to touch their broccoli.
2. How stingy the airline industry is with power. Every single person who comes to an airport has some form of electronics with them. And only now are computers and MP3 players offering battery life that is longer than an hour or two. Yet, the only airline that offers power on the plane is American, and Indiana Jones would have trouble finding a workable power outlet in an airport. And in the rare instance where you are able to find an outlet, it is a dead outlet. No power. But here’s a trick to find an outlet when you need one. Go to the place where there are already two people using the outlet and there is no room for you. The only working outlets in the airport are already being used. I’m not quite sure how, but I’m positive that Dick Cheyney and big oil are benefiting from this somehow.
3. The people who think yelling at the person at the ticket counter is going to help the situation. First, does this ever work? When has yelling at someone and/or talking down to them ever gotten you anywhere? Like they already don’t hate your for not having such a horrible job where you have to stand all day and deal with complainers, you think yelling at them is going to make them want to do anything to help you? Second. It’s clear that those working behind the counter aren’t the brightest, most driven, productive workers. But you think making her stop what she’s doing, slow and plodding as it may be, to listen to you complain is going to make her more productive? Be nice. Shut up. Let her work. Your yelling at her is only delaying her from helping me get to where I want to go.
4. The people who work at the counter who don’t realize that no news is horrible news in travel. Make some God-damned announcements, and that asshole won’t feel the need to bother you and yell at you. You’ve got 15 people who got bumped from a flight and their next flight leaves in 30 minutes yet they have no tickets, of course they are getting anxious, and of course they are going to bother you for information. You sit there typing away at 150 words per minute while also answering the phones, apparently oblivious to the fact that everyone’s sweating and getting frustrated? Just a quick announcement. That’s all we ask. Just keep us updated and we’ll leave you alone. On the flip-side, pilots who make announcements throughout the flight. It’s weird; people at gates don’t make announcements, yet all everyone wants is to know when they are going to get on the plane. Pilots talk all through the flight about stupid mundane shit, when all everyone wants if for him to shut the hell up, fly the plane and let us sleep. I don’t care what your name is, or what your copilot’s name is. I don’t care that Lake Erie is to my right, and certainly don’t care how high we are flying or what the temperature is where I’m going. If I didn’t find the need to check temperature while I was packing, I certainly don’t give a shit now that it’s too late to dress warm.
5. People who put their jackets and purses in the overhead. The overhead are for bags. Under the seat is for your knick nacks. There is one overhead for three seats. If you think that you are going to put your bag and your pocketbook up there, as well as spread your neatly folded jacket all across my overhead, you are sorely mistaken. I am going to rub my dog-shit encrusted rollers all over your cute Ann Taylor number and make you cry. I am also going to jam my bag on top of your purse minding carefully to break your diaphragm and smash your makeup on your family pictures.
6. People who devour the food they get on the plane like they’ve been in a Turkish prison for the last 5 years. This is the weirdest sociological experiment. I can’t even fancy a guess why people are so ravenous on planes. Airlines serve you tiny amounts of bland food, yet everyone wolfs it down like it’s their last meal. You get sugar packet filled with peanuts, and people are licking the insides like Survivorman. I always turn down the crappy ginger cookies United gives me and stewardess looks surprised, like I’m turning down sex. I’ve even had people (that’s plural) say “Oh, can I have his?” Christ, bring some food from home if you are that hungry. An offshoot of those who act like they’ve never been on a plane: people who clap when the plane lands safely. Ugh, amateurs. I want a wheel to fall off as soon as people clap. Huzzah! Thanks for not killing us. Can we possibly set the bar just a nudge higher?
7. People who order drinks on a plane at 7 AM on Monday morning. Not that I hate them really, but God I feel so much pity for whatever is going on in their life that they need the dull the pain so early in the week. And I hate people who make me feel pity for them.
8. Children. I am not a fan of children in general, as they are irrational and can not be reasoned with. But I am especially filled with hate when I am to sit near them and they cry, nah scream for three hours and their parents don’t’ do anything to stop it. They just sit there and “shhhhh” them and shake them (not nearly hard enough in my mind) which never accomplishes anything. Get up, walk around, or better yet, get them drunk and make them pass out. If that doesn’t work, muffle them somehow, preferably with a pillow for 5 minutes.
9. Nazi flight attendants. My iPod is not going to crash the plane. There is absolutely no logic to making me turn off my iPod. It does not interfere with the plane in any way shape or form. Should I take the battery out of my watch too? What about the internal clock on my laptop. Is that going to interfere with the plane’s navigation system, too? Bollocks! And I need to keep my laptop in my bag and stowed under the seat for takeoff? Why? I don’t want to. I want to put it in the seat back. There’s ample room. It’s not like the laptop is hanging out and could fall out during takeoff. 90% of the laptop is in the pocket. Again, zero reason for this rule to be enforced. You don’t even know why it’s a rule, don’t even question if it’s valid, but execute your duties regardless….Rommel. God, just leave me alone. Go get someone a pillow.
10. People who stand up right when the plane hits the gate. Realize something. There is a very set order of how people disembark a plane. The person in the row ahead of you will leave before you, every time. No matter what. There is nothing you can do to alter this fact of life. No matter how fast you unbuckle your seat. No matter how fast you get your bag out of the compartment. No matter how long you stand. 100% of the people seated ahead of you will leave the plane before you regardless of whether to wait standing or wait sitting. And just to prove that point to you, I am going to sit comfortably 2 feet in front you in the seat with my seatbelt buckled, staring forward listening to my iPod until the last possible moment, all the while getting your hopes high that you may leave the plane ahead of me. Unfortunately, no matter how much you think your task of standing will hopefully leapfrog you one passenger, it’s not going to happen. I will delay you intentionally just because you stand needlessly.
- Mad - 08-25-2006
Eighty hour weeks? Hope you get to bill by the hour.
- Keyser Soze - 08-25-2006
i wish galt would post here more.
i agree 100% with every one of the annoying things at the airport and on the plane. the shutting off the ipod, the idiots who stand up when the plane reaches the gate, it all drives me nuts.
another thing that bugs me at the airport are the people who don't utilize the kiosks. who are these neaderthals that don't realize instead of standing in line for 30 mins, they can check in much quicker on these wonderful devices. i guess its a good thing most of these schmucks don't know how to do this or i'd have to wait in line to get to one.
- Charles Manson - 08-25-2006
I'll bet sales seems like a lost dream job right about now.
- Galt - 08-26-2006
Sales is a dead end job unless you want to be a salesperson for the rest of your life and be one of those pathetic wretches in Glengary Glenross, when you are old and have learned no tangible skills.
The consulting gig is a temporary job and will position me for a more secure job with much less hours.
I don't work 80 hour weeks. That's a bit of an exaggeration. Normally 60 hours, and even that hasn't been the case recently, as I've basically stopped working altogether. Which means if I don't find a new job soon, they'll likely can me.
- Arpikarhu - 08-26-2006
much to my surprise i realized that even after all these years i still find joy in galt's suffering. thanks!
- Charles Manson - 08-26-2006
ARPI-KARHU-HU-HU-HUUUUUU!!!!