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+--- Thread: My airspace was invaded (/showthread.php?tid=11902)
My airspace was invaded - Hoon - 06-30-2006
so today i'm driving home and i hear this disturbance near
my left arm. it's a gigantic bumble bee freaking out.
now, i'm not one of those bee pussies who spaz out when they're near one but i'm not an advocate of being stung by them neither.
i cannot explain to you enough how big this fucking thing was.
it was like, the biggest bee i've ever seen.
it was so big, instead of buzzing - it's wings made that swooshing noise you hear dragons making in old sci-fi movies. i bet it's stinger was as big as a hyperdermic needle. you know, the ones they use to penetrate your chest when you overdose and shoot a liter of adrenelin in to bring you back?
so here i am doing about 60mph, rolling down the windows and swatting at the beast who's flying aimlessly around my jeep as if he were under the influence. this made it even scarier because i started wondering if it had rabies! anyway, the fucker won't go out the window.. he'd get near it, the wind would take him and he'd fly right back in my face even angrier than he was before!
now i'm getting worried.. i could pull over but i don't because subconsciously i'm trying to convince myself that i'm too much of a man to do that and i notice in the mele' that i've actually sped up to about 70mph. i take my eyes off him for a second to get my bearings and make sure i'm still on the road and i feel the mother trucker crawling in my hair!
i got chills down my spine because he was so big that if he'd stung me it would've been like being impaled with a javelin!
i shoo him from my mane and i'm really getting angry now.
my pure survival instinct kicked in. i grabbed my sweet ass yellow corona cap and waited for my shot like a veteren russian sniper in the rubble of stalingrad stalking a nazi officer..
i sized him up until he was perfectly positioned near my windsheild and i squeezed the trigger. one well placed shot and he was dead.
when it was over.. i realized this war had lasted the entirety of Neil Youngs song, 'Heart Of Gold'. from now on, everytime i hear that song i will associate it with the ultimate triumph of man kind over natures beasts.
- Mad - 06-30-2006
Too bad you didn't crash, it would have been a much better story. You are no Galt.
- Hoon - 06-30-2006
sorry.
maybe i should've mentioned a flamethrower just to make you happy.
- Goatweed - 06-30-2006
if one of those fuckers bite me, I gotta rush to the hospital - so I'm one of those people that freak out when they're nearby.
- Hoon - 06-30-2006
i believe i originally catagorized people like yourself as 'those pussies that freak out'
Re: My airspace was invaded - GonzoStyle - 07-01-2006
Hoon Wrote:now, i'm not one of those bee pussies who spaz out when they're near one
whatever buddy, bees are demonic little creatues and they can be quite intimidating, doesnt make one a pussy.
- Hoon - 07-01-2006
i beg to differ.
man hangs the heads of lions and bears on his wall.
the least we can do is have some self respect and show some bravery when confronted by a rodent.
- GonzoStyle - 07-01-2006
give me a gun and i'll hang a bees head on my wall, apples and oranges.
- Goatweed - 07-01-2006
considering Im highly allergic, I dont see fleeing from one as a pussified action.
- Mad - 07-01-2006
Surprised you don't carry one of those injectable things.
- Goatweed - 07-01-2006
there aren't many bees here, and the hospital is 5 minutes away - I'm allergic, it's not fatal to me.
- Hoon - 07-03-2006
I still say it's girly to run from a little bee whether you're allergic or not. I bet Keyser doesn't run from bee's. I bet he's a real man, like me.
- Keyser Soze - 07-06-2006
fagz