Quote:this year's winner is the late John Pernicky and his friend, the late Sal Hawkins, of the state of Washington, who decided to attend a local METALLICA concert at the George Washington Amphitheatre. Having no tickets (but having had 18 beers between them), they thought it would be easy to "hop" over the nine foot fence and sneak into the show. They pulled their pickup truck over to the fence and the plan was for Mr. Pernicky, who was 100-pounds heavier than Mr. Hawkins, to hop the fence and then assist his friend over. Unfortunately for Mr. Pernicky, there was a 30-foot drop on the other side of the fence. Having heaved himself over, he found himself crashing through a tree. His fall was abruptly halted (and broken, along with his arm) by a large branch that snagged him by his shorts. Dangling from the tree with a broken arm, he looked down and saw some bushes below him. Possibly figuring the bushes would break his fall, he removed his pocket knife and proceeded to cut away his shorts to free himself from the tree. Finally free, Mr. Pernicky crashed into holly bushes. The sharp leaves scratched his entire body and now, without the protection of his shorts, a holly branch penetrated his rectum. To make matters worse, on landing, his pocket knife penetrated his thigh. Mr. Hawkins, seeing his friend in considerable pain and agony, threw him a rope and proceeded to pull him to safety by tying the rope to the pickup truck and slowly driving away. However, in his drunken haste/state, he put the truck into reverse and crashed through the fence landing on his friend and killing him. Police arrived to find the crashed pickup with its driver thrown 100 feet from the truck and dead at the scene from massive internal injuries. Upon moving the truck, they found John under it half-naked, scratches on his body, a holly stuck in his rectum, a knife in his thigh, and his shorts dangling from a tree branch 25-feet in the air.

Spitfire Wrote: a holly stuck in his rectum

Quote:Also, falling from an airplane and having your chute not open

Quote:5th RUNNER-UP
Goes to a San Anselmo, California man who died when he hit a lift tower at
the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope on a foam pad.
The 22-year old David Hubal was pronounced dead at Central Mammoth Hospital.
The accident occurred about 3a.m, the Mono County Sheriff's department said.
Hubal and his friends apparently had hiked up a ski run called Stump Alley
and undid some yellow foam protectors from lift towers,
said Lt. Mike Donnelly of the Mammoth Lakes Police Department. The pads are
used to protect skiers who might hit towers. The group apparently used the
pads to slide down the ski slope and Hubal crashed into a tower.
It has since been investigated and determined the tower he hit was the one
with its pad removed.


4th RUNNER-UP
Goes to Robert Puelo, 32, was apparently being disorderly in a St. Louis
market. When the clerk threatened to call the police, Puelo grabbed a hot
dog, shoved it into his mouth and walked out without paying.

Police found him unconscious in front of the store. Paramedics removed the
six-inch wiener from his throat where it had choked him to death.


3rd RUNNER-UP
Goes to poacher Marino Malerba of Spain, who shot a stag standing above him
on an overhanging rock and was killed instantly when it fell on him.


2nd RUNNER-UP
"Man loses face at party." A man at a West Virginia party (probably related
to the winner last year, a man in Arkansas who used the 22 bullet to replace
the fuse in his pickup truck), popped a blasting cap into his mouth and bit
down, triggering an explosion that blew off his lips, teeth, and tongue.
Jerry Stromyer, 24, of Kincaid, bit the blasting cap as a prank during the
party late Tuesday night, said Cpl. M.D. Payne."
Another man had it in an aquarium hooked to a battery and was trying to
explode it. "It wouldn't go off and this guy said, "I'll show you how to
set it off." He put it into his mouth, bit down and it blew all his teeth
out and his lips and
tongue off, Payne said. Stromyer was listed in guarded condition Wednesday
with extensive facial injuries, according to a spokesperson at Charleston
Area Medical Division. "I just can't imagine anyone doing something like
that," Payne said.

1st RUNNER-UP
Doctors at Portland University Hospital said an Oregon man shot through the
skull by a hunting arrow is lucky to be alive and will be released soon from
the hospital. Tony Roberts, 25, lost his right eye last weekend during an
initiation into a men's rafting club, Mountain Men Anonymous (probably known
now as Stupid Mountain Men Anonymous) in Grant's Pass, Oregon. A friend
tried to shoot a beer can off his head, but the arrow entered Robert's right
eye.
Doctors said that had the arrow gone 1 millimeter to the left, a major blood
vessel would have been cut and Roberts would have died instantly.
Neurosurgeon Doctor Johnny Delashaw at the university Hospital in Portland
said the arrow went through 8 to 10 inches of brain with the tip protruding
at the rear of his skull, yet somehow managed to miss all major blood
vessels. Delashaw also said that had Roberts tried to pull the arrow out on
his own he surely would have killed himself. Roberts admitted afterwards
that he and his friends had been drinking that afternoon. Said Roberts, "I
feel so dumb about this." No charges have been filed, but the Josephine
County district attorney's office said the initiation stunt is under
investigation.

The Sleeper Wrote:I think getting ass-raped to death by a guy with a strap-on blade on his dick might be unpleasant.

GonzoStyle Wrote:

Quote:I think getting ass-raped to death by a guy with a strap-on blade on his dick might be unpleasant.

Been watching se7en all by your lonesome again?

The Sleeper Wrote:

Quote:

Quote:I think getting ass-raped to death by a guy with a strap-on blade on his dick might be unpleasant.

Been watching se7en all by your lonesome again?

That movie is too scawy to watch all by my lonesome :disaprove:

The Sleeper Wrote:I think getting ass-raped to death by a guy with a strap-on blade on his dick might be unpleasant.

Rape Fantasizer Wrote:

Quote:I think getting ass-raped to death by a guy with a strap-on blade on his dick might be unpleasant.

Who are you kidding, that's like my goal in life. I think buried alive is the worst way I can think of.

The Sleeper Wrote:

Quote:

Quote:I think getting ass-raped to death by a guy with a strap-on blade on his dick might be unpleasant.

Who are you kidding, that's like my goal in life. I think buried alive is the worst way I can think of.

haha, I sooo knew you were gonna say that!