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+--- Thread: Stella awards (/showthread.php?tid=8768)
- diceisgod - 03-31-2004
Quote:2003 Stella Awards Revisited
The Stella Awards are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired
the Stella awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
5th Place (tie):
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days.
He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The ward was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet
gun.
3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place:
This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R. V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned.Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis if this suit, just in case there were any other complete moron’s buying recreation vehicle.
- Galt - 03-31-2004
teenweek?
- Black Lazerus - 03-31-2004
nice try but those are all fake ones these are the real ones.
THE RUNNERS UP FOR THE 2003 TRUE STELLA AWARDS ARE:
#8: Stephen Joseph of San Francisco, Calif. Joseph runs a non-profit
group whose goal is to ban the "trans fats" used in many processed
foods and which are indeed very unhealthy. But to help gain publicity
for his cause, Joseph, an attorney, chose one food that uses trans
fats -- Oreo cookies -- and sued Kraft Foods for putting the stuff in
the snack. The resulting publicity over "suing Oreos" was so intense
that Joseph dropped the suit after just 13 days. He never even served
the suit on Kraft, showing that he had no interest in actually getting
the case heard in court. What real cases got pushed aside during his
abuse of the courts to get publicity for his pet organization?
#7: Shawn Perkins of Laurel, Ind. Perkins was hit by lightning in the
parking lot Paramount's Kings Island amusement park in Mason, Ohio. A
classic "act of God", right? No, says Perkins' lawyer. "That would be
a lot of people's knee-jerk reaction in these types of situations."
The lawyer has filed suit against the amusement park asking
unspecified damages, arguing the park should have "warned" people not
to be outside during a thunderstorm.
#6: Caesar Barber, 56, of New York City. Barber, who is 5-foot-10 and 270
pounds, says he is obese, diabetic, and suffers from heart disease
because fast food restaurants forced him to eat their fatty food four
to five times per week. He filed suit against McDonald's, Burger King,
Wendy's and KFC, who "profited enormously" and asked for unspecified
damages because the eateries didn't warn him that junk food isn't good
for him. The judge threw the case out twice, and barred it from being
filed a third time. Is that the end of such McCases? No way: lawyers
will just find another plaintiff and start over, legal scholars say.
#5: Cole Bartiromo, 18, of Mission Viejo, Calif. After making over $1
million in the stock market, the feds made Bartiromo pay it all back:
he gained his profits, they said, using fraud. Bartiromo played
baseball at school, but after his fraud case broke he was no longer
allowed to participate in extracurricular sports. Bartiromo clearly
learned a lot while sitting in federal court: he wrote and filed his
own lawsuit against his high school, reasoning that he had planned on
a pro baseball career but, because he was kicked off the school's
team, pro scouts wouldn't be able to discover him. His suit demands
the school reimburse him for the great salary he would have made in
the majors, which he figures is $50 million.
#4: Priest David Hanser, 70. Hanser was one of the first Catholic priests
to be caught up in the sex abuse scandal. In 1990, he settled a suit
filed by one of his victims for $65,000. In the settlement, Hanser
agreed not to work with children anymore, but the victim learned that
Hanser was ignoring that part of the agreement. The victim appealed to
the church, asking it to stop Hanser from working near children, but
the church would not intervene. "It's up to the church to decide where
he works," argued the priest's lawyer. When the outraged victim went
to the press to warn the public that a pedo priest was near children,
Hanser sued him for the same $65,000 because he violated his own part
of the deal -- to keep the settlement secret. The message is clear:
shut up about outrageous abuse, or we'll sue you for catching us.
#3: Wanda Hudson, 44, of Mobile, Ala. After Hudson lost her home to
foreclosure, she moved her belongings to a storage unit. She says she
was inside her unit one night "looking for some papers" when the
storage yard manager found the door to her unit ajar -- and locked it.
She denies that she was sleeping inside, but incredibly did not call
for help or bang on the door to be let out! She was not found for 63
days and barely survived; the formerly "plump" 150-pound woman lived
on food she just happened to have in the unit, and was a mere 83
pounds when she was found. She sued the storage yard for $10 million
claiming negligence. Even though the jury was not allowed to learn
that Hudson had previously diagnosed mental problems, it found Hudson
was nearly 100 percent responsible for her own predicament -- but
still awarded her $100,000.
#2: Doug Paxil Poppin Chub Chub, 45, of Portland, Ore. Paxil Poppin Chub Chub says God "steered" him to a
stray dog. He admits "People thought I was crazy" to spend $4,000 in
vet bills to bring the injured mutt back to health, but hey, it was
God's dog! But $4,000 was nothing: he couldn't even take his
girlfriend out to dinner without getting a dog-sitter to watch him.
When the skittish dog escaped the sitter, Paxil Poppin Chub Chub didn't just put an ad
in the paper, he bought display ads so he could include a photo. His
business collapsed since he devoted full time to the search for the
dog. He didn't propose to his girlfriend because he wanted the dog to
deliver the ring to her. He hired four "animal psychics" to give him
clues to the animal's whereabouts, and hired a witch to cast spells.
He even spread his own urine around to "mark his territory" to try to
lure the dog home! And, he said, he cried every day. Two months in to
the search, he went looking for the dog where it got lost -- and
quickly found it. His first task: he put a collar on the mutt. (He
hadn't done that before for a dog that was so "valuable"?!) After
finding the dog, he sued the dog sitter, demanding $20,000 for the
cost of his search, $30,000 for the income he lost by letting his
business collapse, $10,000 for "the temporary loss of the special
value" of the dog, and $100,000 in "emotional damages" -- $160,000
total. God has not been named as a defendant.
AND THE WINNER of the 2003 True Stella Awards: The City of Madera, Calif.
Madera police officer Marcy Noriega had the suspect from a minor
disturbance handcuffed in the back of her patrol car. When the suspect
started to kick at the car's windows, Officer Noriega decided to
subdue him with her Taser. Incredibly, instead of pulling her stun gun
from her belt, she pulled her service sidearm and shot the man in the
chest, killing him instantly. The city, however, says the killing is
not the officer's fault; it argues that "any reasonable police
officer" could "mistakenly draw and fire a handgun instead of the
Taser device" and has filed suit against Taser, arguing the company
should pay for any award from the wrongful death lawsuit the man's
family has filed. What a slur against every professionally trained
police officer who knows the difference between a real gun and a stun
gun! And what a cowardly attempt to escape responsibility for the
actions of its own under-trained officer.
- diceisgod - 03-31-2004
YA GOT ME!!
- Keyser Soze - 03-31-2004
Doug Paxil Poppin Chub Chub!
- Black Lazerus - 03-31-2004
it changes any thing named B.a.k.e.r.
Paxil Poppin Chub Chub < that was B.a.k.e.r. when i typed it.
- Keyser Soze - 03-31-2004
no shit sherlock, its hysterical.
- Black Lazerus - 03-31-2004
i don't know who Paxil Poppin Chub Chub is so i don't get it.
- Keyser Soze - 03-31-2004
thats just a homage to jack's brother, Paxil Poppin Chub Chub.
- Goatweed - 03-31-2004
that b'aker rule has been in effect for over a year and you never knew what it meant?
- GonzoStyle - 03-31-2004
DIG's may have been fake but they were more interesting.
Only #2 and #1 in Laz's list were of any interest.
My favorite was #2 though
Quote:He hired four "animal psychics" to give him
clues to the animal's whereabouts, and hired a witch to cast spells.
He even spread his own urine around to "mark his territory" to try to
lure the dog home! And, he said, he cried every day.
I would have included the woman who dropped a jar of mayo on her foot and broke her toe. She sued the supermarket cause their bags were shoddy and broke causing the mayo jar to drop. The problem was it didn't happen until she was in her home already, so no telling how she handled the bags. The catcher though is that she is suing because she no longer enjoys sex with her husband and it's hurting their marriage. I dunno what kind of fucked up wiring she has where a broken toe means translates into a broken pussy.
- Black Lazerus - 03-31-2004
Maybe she couldn't ride her husband correctly, stupid!
the correct way is on tipy toes not on the knees.
- GonzoStyle - 04-01-2004
there's more than one sexual position STUPID and if people can play professional sports with a busted toe this bitch can get on top for a few minutes. Either way she said she doesn't get satisfaction from sex no more, so it aint about that.