Table manners

Maynard · 04-23-2002, 02:54 PM

So I'm sitting here eating a bagel and drinking my coffee, and just doin a little web surfing, when I come across this link. It teaches you basic table manners. I actually found it quite fascinating.

North American Table Manners

Metalfan · 04-23-2002, 02:56 PM

Another lunch thread...its not even 11!!!1

Luna · 04-23-2002, 03:01 PM

This must be the Brunch thread.

RE: the table manners link - I flunked charm school. :crackhead:

Metalfan · 04-23-2002, 03:05 PM

That's only part of the reason you're in the basement Luna :firebounce:

JIMMYSNUKA · 04-23-2002, 03:10 PM

I have great table manners

Cunt-Twat · 04-23-2002, 05:42 PM

Quote:How to Use a Napkin
Using the napkin at formal occasions, as with much else associated with etiquette, should be a delicate affair. It is meant only to be dabbed at the lips and should not get dirty in the process. It might seem that the napkin is provided precisely so that it can help the diner clean up any mess that might occur during the course of the meal. Of course, this was its original use, (once the tablecloth itself ceased to be used as a napkin), and at an informal occasion such as a barbeque, it still performs this service. But the more formal the event, the more vestigial the presence of the napkin, because the purpose of nearly every aspect of table manners is to preserve cleanliness and proper appearance. If all other elements of the meal are going well, there will be no danger of smudging the linen.

To Start
As soon as you are seated, remove the napkin from your place setting, unfold it, and put it in your lap. At some very formal restaurants, the waiter may do this for the diners, but it is not inappropriate to place your own napkin in your lap, even when this is the case. If your napkin falls on the floor during a very formal event, do not retrieve it. You should be able to signal a member of the serving staff that you need a fresh one.

To Finish
When you leave the table at the end of the meal, place your napkin loosely next to your plate. It should not be crumpled or twisted, which would reveal untidiness or nervousness, respectively; nor should it be folded, which might be seen as an implication that you think your hosts might reuse it without washing. The napkin must also not be left on the chair. There is a European superstition that a diner who leaves the napkin on his chair will never sit at that table again, but other, less supernatural, reasons are often cited for this: it might seem as if you have an inappropriately dirty napkin to hide -- or even that you are trying to run off with the table linens.

oh please!!! :eatme:

DGW · 04-23-2002, 05:49 PM

Napkins

Cunt-Twat · 04-23-2002, 05:55 PM

dgw, you copy cat!!

JIMMYSNUKA · 04-23-2002, 06:38 PM

i went to tgif for lunch.....had a cajun chicken sandwich

Grumpy · 04-23-2002, 06:53 PM

i like ti cut a wet fart before i eat. it makes more room for food..

JIMMYSNUKA · 04-23-2002, 06:58 PM

it also gives you a spreadable cheese for some crackers

Grumpy · 04-23-2002, 06:59 PM

this is true. but if you also piss in a glass you have something to wash down your lunch with.

JIMMYSNUKA · 04-23-2002, 07:03 PM

i like to tell the waitress i have something in my food...when she bends down to look i stick a toothpick down her throat and make puke right into my mouth

Grumpy · 04-23-2002, 07:05 PM

that's a good one. ever bring a roach and put it on the plate and when the manager refuses to comp your lunch - you eat the roach anyway? I prefer a nice red sauce with my insects. that's why I always stab the waitress with my butter knife as she walks by and let her bleed on my food.

JIMMYSNUKA · 04-23-2002, 07:07 PM

i like going to mcdonalds...jumping into the ball pit....steal the chicken finger box from a small child and put the box down my pants.

in the balls nobody can see the kid grabbing for my balls.

Grumpy · 04-23-2002, 07:09 PM

the best is going to chuck e cheese. They have a bigger ball pit and I know where the camera's point. i bribed a teen waitress to tell me. Okay, I threatened her but at least i know where to hide now. I want to work as the guy in the mouse costume. I'd do it naked. that way when the kids hug me there's only a thin piece of clothe between my shween and them.

JIMMYSNUKA · 04-23-2002, 07:13 PM

i have a lot of training in the art of PEDO. so i can get away with this one....

just lay naked in the middle of a playground and pour a package of fun dip over my mule....they lick it off without even telling them.....its so rewarding to hear teachers and mothers scream in horror

Grumpy · 04-23-2002, 07:14 PM

do you put up the neon "free candy" sign or not?

ever try the "your mom got hit by a car, quick - get it" bit?

JIMMYSNUKA · 04-23-2002, 07:16 PM

i dont do that one anymore...last time i said that one the kid cried because he felt sorry for the car.....oh wait.....THAT WAS YOU!!..sorry thought you were a kid.

Grumpy · 04-23-2002, 07:20 PM

speaking of cars....ever race wait down the block from a senior citizens center and wait for the afternoon walks to start? then you gun the engine and drive by them as they try to cross the street?

I've got 8 seizures and 14 coronaries to my title so far......