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if ya can't kill em make his life miserable. 3 drops of visine in his coffee will keep him out of your hair all day. he'll have hersey squirts that would make even Snuka cringe.
works with anything. put a few drops in his bagel if you want. just don't go crazy. 3-4 drops is plenty. then sit back and watch him hide in the bathroom all day.
BTW - if he has kidney problems, DO NOT DO THIS. I'm not bailing your ass out when they lock you up for Manslaughter.