In this thread - I am a pizza....

[Goatweed]

no ice with that grape soda.

[The Jays]

:guy at counter filling grape soda cup observes what is happening on counter. Cup drops to floor in slow motion. Grape soda splashes everywhere. Pizza and man become one. Strange noises are heard:


BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! ARGHH!!!!! OGHDGCEHGCEHEEHDHGhgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAHGHGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[The Jays]

:man and pizza collapse to floor. Everyone in restaurant is in awe:

[The Jays]

IZZA AND GUY HAVE BECOME ONE:
<span style='font-size:67pt;line-height:100%'>I AM PIZZA DUDE!!!!!</span>

[Goatweed]

but what about my chicken parm hero?

[The Jays]

IZZA DUDE SAYS:

<span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>FUCK YOUR CHICKEN PARM!!! YOU WILL ALL DIE! DEATH BY PIZZA, TO YOU ALLL!</span>

[The Jays]

<span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>KNEEL BEFORE PIZZA DUDE</span>

:5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5: :5:

[Goatweed]

no grape soda either I guess?

how about spaghetti? with a nice tomato sauce, a little garlic & basil - whaddya say?

[The Jays]

<span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>:EATS GOATWEED:

AHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHA, MMMMM, MUNCH!!!! AHAHAHAAHAHA, I ARE STRONG!!</span>

[Goatweed]

who knew pizza's had teeth? :crackhead:

[The Jays]

<span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>AHAHAAH, WHAT THF FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK? MAH BELLY IS SPEAKIN!!!!
SHUT UP, BELLY!!!!!1</span>

[Arpikarhu]

pizza dude needs a good astringent. his skin is awful!


by the way, that was a long way to go for that pizza dude gag.

[The Jays]

<span style='font-family:impact'><span style='font-size:17pt;line-height:100%'>:EATS ARPI:

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, WHAT PIZZA DUDE GAG!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!</span></span>

[Arpikarhu]

hi goatweed. did you find my car keys?

[Goatweed]

not yet, but I'd like you to meet my friend - Jimmy Hoffa.

[The Jays]

:regurgitates Arpi and goatweed. Genetic binding between dude and pizza becomes unstable. Pizza and Dude seperates, leaving a broken man, and even worse, a broken pizza. Mexican quickly scoops up the remains of the pizza and tosses them in the trash. :

[The Jays]

:ponders meaning of life whilst in trash:

[The Jays]

uddenly realizes that he's not alone in this trash can, as the pepperoni from the pizza in the oven begin their offensive:


<div align="center"><span style='font-size:67pt;line-height:100%'>FIN.</span></div>

EDIT: OR IS IT???????



Edited By The Jays on 1054786545

[HedCold]

a real writer would have stretched it out until at least page 4

[The Jays]

... you didn't stick around for the cliffhanger ending...