If you could talk to 'god'

GonzoStyle · 03-01-2002, 04:02 PM

If you could talk to 'god' what would you ask me?

Not a religious discussion, just a hypothetical question. If there is a God and you could talk to him, what would you ask him?

I'd take God to bar 9 and ask him to smite the pompus ass in the corner who thinks he is god just for fun. Then I'd ask God to finally make Rape talk to me. Most importantly I'd ask god why men can't ejaculate 2 quarts of semen everytime they cum like warthogs do...(thanks for that piece of info Mrs. Moosen.) Imagine if you could cum 2 quarts worth of infection sauce? You lose your footing on half a teaspoon, i think it might kill you but it's worth a try man.

Edited By GonzoStyle on Mar. 01 2002 at 11:02

Keyser Soze · 03-01-2002, 04:03 PM

I'd take her out drinking and try to bang her.

NaughtyAngel · 03-01-2002, 04:05 PM

i think id ask him why i have such weird friends

DGW · 03-01-2002, 04:05 PM

I'd ask him if he could get Arpi's vacation here sooner.

GonzoStyle · 03-01-2002, 04:08 PM

NaughtyAngel Wrote:i think id ask him why i have such weird friends

I'd ask the burning bush and no not your's Ladi.

I'd ask God to finally let Amy realize her feelings and get her to blow me already and give up on FTL, I think we all have now realized which way FTL swings.

PollyannaFlower46 · 03-01-2002, 04:31 PM

If I met God (who I don't even believe in), I would first probably faint from the shock that he existed, and then just ask him "why?" I always hear people who believe in God saying that it must have been God's will etc., so that's really all I would want to know.

GonzoStyle · 03-01-2002, 04:35 PM

PollyannaFlower46 Wrote:If I met God (who I don't even believe in), I would first probably faint from the shock that he existed, and then just ask him "why?" I always hear people who believe in God saying that it must have been God's will etc., so that's really all I would want to know.

Would the world end if God fell asleep?

Maynard · 03-01-2002, 04:37 PM

I'd ask him to beatbox for me and do the funky backspin.

Then I'd ask him if he really does like skeeball.

PollyannaFlower46 · 03-01-2002, 04:39 PM

GonzoStyle Wrote:Would the world end if God fell asleep?

He would only fall asleep if I tried to do the horizontal mambo with him...as long as I don't do that, we should all be fine.

Doc · 03-01-2002, 04:52 PM

Quote:Would the world end if God fell asleep?

Then I guess he must really think he's a hummingbird.

Actually, I'd ask the obligitory "Why good people suffer" and then I think I'd ask why he made it so men and women thoughts are completley opposite on certain things, like independence and commitment

I'm guessing the answer turns out to be, "Because I'm just a bastard like that"

Edited By Doc on Mar. 01 2002 at 11:53

Hey Ladi · 03-01-2002, 05:06 PM

Doc Wrote:then I think I'd ask why he made it so men and women thoughts are completley opposite on certain things, like independence and commitment

I could see the answer being "Wasn't me!"

People conditioned themselves to think marriage & commitment = GOOOOD, independence = alone = BAAAAAD.

Keyser Soze · 03-01-2002, 05:12 PM

Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift and then what does he do? I swear, for his own amusement, his own private cosmic gagril he sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look but don't touch. Touch but don't taste. Taste but don't swallow. And while you're jumping on one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughing his sick fucking ass off. He's a tightass. He's a sadist. He's an absentee-landlord! Worship that? Never!

GonzoStyle · 03-01-2002, 05:23 PM

Keyser Soze Wrote:Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch.

God is my uncle bobo?

PollyannaFlower46 · 03-01-2002, 05:23 PM

Keyser Soze Wrote:He's an absentee-landlord! Worship that? Never!

You should read about the Gnostics if you really feel that way. I read it over the summer for school and some of it blew my mind.

GonzoStyle · 03-01-2002, 05:26 PM

Keyser Soze Wrote:He's an absentee-landlord! Worship that? Never!

Thanks for that Pacino.

Keyser Soze · 03-01-2002, 05:38 PM

Sorry, was I supposed to provide a bibliography?

GonzoStyle · 03-01-2002, 05:45 PM

Keyser Soze Wrote:Sorry, was I supposed to provide a bibliography?

I would ask God why soup soup doesn't see that I actually do like him, even is he is a plagarist.

Keyser Soze · 03-01-2002, 05:59 PM

Yeah but then we wouldnt have had the pleasure of watching Polly react as if they were my own words.

PollyannaFlower46 · 03-01-2002, 06:02 PM

Keyser Soze Wrote:Yeah but then we wouldnt have had the pleasure of watching Polly react as if they were my own words.

Ehh...I react to anything.... Rolleyes

GonzoStyle · 03-01-2002, 06:02 PM

PollyannaFlower46 Wrote:Ehh...I react to anything....

STD's?