So what are we doing tonight, brain? - Guide to joining the forces of darkness

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Stage One
To begin your plan, you must first seduce a wealthy heiress. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this criminal mastermind? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in classic black?


Stage Two
Next, you will desecrate the Moon (ooh, tides!). This will cause countless hordes of mutant race to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with fuzzy bunnies, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.


Stage Three
Finally, you will demonstrate your horsemen of the apocalypse, bringing about something that\'s really metal. This will all be done from a Medieval Castle, an excellent choice if we might say.

These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.

Trust us, it'll all come together in the end.