09-04-2002, 02:34 AM
Heres the next 2 matches. The Main Event will have to come tomorrow.
Quote:As we come back from Commercial break, Baker is in Gonzo's office talking about what just happened and Gonzo explained that not even his henchmen wanted to touch Tenbats. Pollyanna then bursts in and demands a match with Sweet Angel. Gonzo declares that the match will take place tonight and that it would be for the womens title. Ladi bursts through the door and begins to yell about being the number 1 contender for the title so Gonzo declares the match a 3 way dance. Baker then pipes up and whines about not having a title shot so Gonzo puts him in the womens title match and makes it a battle royal.
Back to the ring for our next event. Sweet Home Alabama kicks up as Arthur Dent makes his way to the ring. Amy announces the the following match is for the vacant Hardcore title and that the 24/7 rules will apply after the first champion is crowned. Arthur finds himself a mic and polls the crowd to find out if he is over or not with them. Dave Matthews I did it begins to play on the loud system as Keyser Soze makes his way to the ring, guitar and mic in hand as he lip syncs to the music. Gomez signals for the bell and this moderator match is under way. JR exclaims that this is going to be one Hell of a slobberknocker as the king looks toward the ceiling as if expecting a sandwich to magically appear. Keyser swings the guitar at Arthur but Arthur ducks and lays in the punchs on Keyser. Keyser drops the guitar and Arthur picks it up and smashes Keyser over the head with it. Keyser sells the injury like it is death while Arthur goes to the outside to get some more toys. He returns with a trash can, a fire extinguisher and a kendo stick. Suddenly Keyser is back to his feet and backing Arthur into the corner with punches of his own. He retrieves the trash can and begins to pummell Arthur with it. Arthur retaliates by firing the Fire Extinguisher into Keysers eyes temporarily blinding him. Arthur retrieves the kendo stick and slaps Keyser accross the back with it repeatedly until Keysers back is beat red. Keyser falls over and Arthur rolls him up for a 2 count. Arthur gets pissed and goes to attack Gomez when Keyser gets a roll up for a 2 count of his own. Keyser sets up a table outside the ring while Arthur recovers in the ring. Keyser rolls back into the ring and irish whips Arthur to the other side of the ring. As Arthur comes back toward Keyser, Keyser lowers his head and prepares to launch Arthur onto and through the table. Arthur kicks Keyser up side his head and clothes lines him out of the ring. Arthur rolls him onto the table and climbs to the top of the turn buckle and elbow drops Keyser through the table. They both lay in a heap as Gomez counts the 1-2-3 and declars Arthur the winner. As Arthur stumbles to his feet, Ken'sPen runs out with a referree and clobbers Arthur with a trash can lid in an obvious cheap shot. Ken covers Arthur for the 1-2-3. And your new Hardcore Champion is Ken'sPen. Ken continues to beat on Arthur until Arpikarhu runs out with a baseball bat and chases Ken away.
Freak on A Leash hits the loudspeaker as we come back from yet another commercial break. Baker makes his way to the ring wearing a low cut v-neck dress. The King goes euphoric while screaming about the size of Baker's puppies. JR tries to tell him that Baker is a guy but the King will hear nothing of it. After The King exclaims that someday Baker will be his and the crowd loses their dinner, Hey Pretty takes over Freak on A Leash. Ladi makes her way to the ring and jumps onto Baker, forcing him to the ground as she tries to tear his hair out. Rockabye replaces Hey Pretty and Sweet Angel runs to Baker's temporary rescue and begins to pummell Ladi. Baker recupperates and props himself up in the corner to watch the girls in disgust. Soon, The Bitch Is Back hits the loudspeaker and Pollyanna runs down to the ring and kicks Baker in the nuts. She then turns her attention to the other two and stop them for a second. She wispers something into each of their ears and the three of them go after Baker. Baker runs around the ring in circles screaming like a girl and trips over his dress. The three of the girls pick him up and toss him out of the ring. Baker is eliminated. Sweet Angel and Ladi high five eachother and then Ladi clotheslined Sweet Angel. Pollyanna dropkicks Ladi and sprints to the ropes. Pollyanna baseball slides into Ladi who was still laying on the canvas. Sweet Angel clubs Pollyanna over the back of the head with a chair and Polly goes to the Mat. Ladi kicks the chair into Sweet Angel and Sweet Angel stumbles backwards and over the rope. Sweet Angel is eliminated. Ladi grabs ahold of Pollyanna's hair and drags her to her feat. Ladi kicks Polly in her stomach and makes her double over. Ladi then turns around and farts in Polly's face. Polly gags and falls over. Ladi goes for the cover then realizes she has to throw Polly over the rope. Polly stumbles to her feet as Ladi has a temper tantrum. Polly then spears Ladi. Ladi falls to the mat. Polly picks Ladi up off the floor and runs Ladi towards the ropes. Polly tosses Ladi over the ropes and retains the womens championship. Back to JR and . . . Wheres the King? JR says that the King wandered off after Baker was eliminated and that he would update us as soon as he knew where the King wandered off to.