Porn Reviews by DiggityDog (Pro for hire, in demand)

[diceisgod]

Let's connect the imaginary dots from post above to.....

PorGirls.com - This site is an example of the beauty of simplicity that is if you get past it's unorthodoxed name which one more impatient, picky, & cruel than myself might encapsulate & enclose as the beginning & end per the site's window of opportunity for a positive first impression. Fortunately for them though I think all such people are in prison or dead, without Internet access, & without a porn budget, hence PorGirls exists & I hope they are doing well (at least I hope they don't file for bancruptcy and shut down over the next 3 mos per my sub). So as I was saying - simplicity: You log in & here are the small thumbs pics of all our girls, click one, and here are the pics & the vids. Also, here is a sub-section of chicks with just pix. As unfortunate this lack-of-vids mini-trend I've noticed is (per just two sites...teehee) it seems to be a "get used to it"-deal as well as commonplace & regular feature on many such sites AND FURTHER a touchy subject plus unnerving & insulting to even bleeding bring up to certain delicate little bloomin' flowers who operate such sites (*coughscan*). Though not PorGirls, of course, who I give the benefit of the doubt regarding gritty heteromasculinity, critical receptivity & overall professionalisminity. I joined this simply beautiful simple site for 3 mos @ about $60 (despite unsavory automatic CC re-bill/re-sub/re-enroll being the sole option). So, back to simplicity as I explained & now again to refresh & refocus per bigtime sidetracks.

There are 3 main pages I believe which lead one right to the gravy. No bullshit & to summarize: 1) Login 2) "MAIN" page of model thumb pics linked to respective chick's pic/vid content & further at the bottom of MAIN is a link to the...3) "sub-MAIN" page containing thumbs of "side-chicks" categorized thusly & I quote: "only pictures of sweet teens & amateur babes." I love simple and I love their model stable which includes some of my favs & personal demi-goddesses like: ZOE (!!! - though only pics, I'll take it since no idea she was even featured), Kathleen (!! - AKA Aubrie/Margo with vid & two pic galleries), Diana (! - AKA Mona from another dreadfully managed & captained site compared to Porgirls who has a pic gallery AND a solo VIDEO (<<<Seeeee, new friend? VID is where it's at, you stagnant professionally stale Poloroid Droid Site operating sonov...OK enough - for now), and Daria (who has pic gallery & vids galore as I believe she is listed under like 3-4 different names here none her own. Maybe she was one of quituplets or sextuplets? If so great if not whatever as more of her is simply beautiful). So given those girls right there alone: I'm there, I'm in, and as I explore further I'm sure there will be one or a few that will stir the juices.

So now I need to be a bit of a big rude "meanie", frighten the small children, make the women & the womanly cry & huffy and list some of my bitches as I have a few but overall am happy with this Halloweenishly named "PorGirls" thing (yeah that was an awfully awful stretch but seriously what is up with that name anyway? What does it mean: 'porgirls'?? Well it's weird & whatever, now go ahead & kick me off your damn site now...) First & foremost, vid quality leaves MUCH to be desired and this basically puzzles the shit out of me. Let's take my alarmingly-oft-mentioned honey Diana/Mona as the example. Go to these two sample galleries featuring her vid: PorGirls Sample & 18onCam Sample. Same video, drastically different quality - the first being grainy & awful compared to second. So we have a case where two different sites have the same scene so maybe there is site affiliation? Co-content-ownership? Whatever the case may be, I want the better copy and not just for her (though especially) but for ALL vids....please (<<<an attempt at politeness to save my ass & make this subscription last a bit - but seriously many other vids I've seen thus far are of similar chincy quality & that sucks, guys, c'mon now!)

Lastly, there is the omnipresent porn scourge & pandemic known as: Cameramanitis. Webster defines the property of some vids where you have some dude behind the camera (probably the owner in this case and this is where I get tossed out but F it) that just doesn't know when to shut up and "when" is precisely & exactly sub-defined: from the moment the filming starts & the camera is pointed at the chick til the absolute end, douche. But seriously, guy, give us a break. Nobody wants to hear you. Nobody wants to know you exist in fact as you're not funny, you're not smart, you're not cool, & you're not witty. Leave that to the professional premium pornsite/VOD reviewers and just pick-up. point, and shoot like a good little monkey, ok, as it's almost like throwing shit but easier. For a specific example of how to destroy what might have been the best vid out of their whole friggin lot, see Adrianna's scene sample vid #4 specifically. As this again might have been their best, hottest vid with who I feel is clit-for-tit THE hottest girl with a vid on the site - remember now, Zoe's feature is just a pic gallery no vid & also please note while the first 3-15 sec vids in Adriana's linked samples are 'silent' with respect to (wrt) dude (a complete misrepresentation of this scen btw), the latter part of the fourth vid & associated assinine comments & unnecessary interjection is indeed a better example of how this vid goes down throughout & consequently downhill. Anyway, this Adriana gal is just amazing looking and this guy behind the camera thinks HE'S the hothorseshit star. It's so fucking frustrating...ARG!! So lastly for real this time they for real need to zip up those photo galleries and link as one now needs to painstakingly go one by one by one by one etc to grab 100+ photos for Kathleen/Aubrie which is a big pain for real but I really do like the site overall and want to end on a positive note despite the run-on sentence and lack of commas (as from what I've been told I suck at comma placement anyway so best to omit) as here it comes as promised prefaced by kudos to this weird little obscurely named simply beautiful & designed "porgirls" thing and finally and most cheesey it's time to complete similarly bad set-up with similar and actually much much worse pay-off: positive note.

PS. Maybe it's lucky that circumstance didn't entail me emailing Porgirls support staff and never getting a reply and then ultimately booted & banned unjustly. That is, lucky for them maybe per this resultant relatively glowing assessment of their service & not so much maybe for others. But at least I'll hopefully get my $60 worth wrt my rightful time of access plus the already decent quality & scope of the content - and newer as updates they claim to add every Friday which is nice and SIMPLE yet again. However, this maybe not so much the case per other sites that piss over my shoulder and tell me it's a Hurricane - actually they don't tell me shit, no email, no support, so no mercy henceforth here, my new bestest buddy & running gag throughout all I write forever friends. THE END - DiggityDog