Porn Reviews by DiggityDog (Pro for hire, in demand)

[diceisgod]

Well this rare surge of blood through the nuts here has inspired so I will play the part of the just-psychologically bullseyed & smells like a dumpster guy with a shortie with a morale. Consider it like a gift for the aforementioned blip of creativity by a guy who afterall is obviously one of my biggest fans - since he obviously doesn't come here to post less a full moon and of course follows that he certainly doesn't come here to be creative (or socially enrich himself which is a joke you'll get maybe soon as well as realize the futitily of such efforts) - though aside from just before that lightning strike up there earlier. So it's proven: He comes here to read my BS. How cute and I am touched.

So as smelly & wretched as I am, you can't call me an ingrate or ungenerous as I give you the following for you to you. Here, you:

A Brother & a Half: A New York City Tale

Scene: Older bro's friends gathered and conversating just before night out with the respectively malignant & socially-malformed Mass duo (Enter: Friend 1 & Friend 2).

F1: "Is tumor face coming around tonight?"

F2: "Yeah and he's probably bringing that tart brother of his AGAIN, that mutt. Poor fuckin guy, serves as the lil wanker's social shoehorn into our previous pleasantness. Little does he know we silently resent him & HATE the tag-along little cuss. Tell me how ironic is it the whole cancer-tumor fate thing?"

*laugh track*

F1: "Yeah, nice one. Anyway, it must suck having to drag around the prick & apologize for him & pretend to love him & so on."

F2 "Yeah but think of the kid and what he has to live with...yes of course....I get it...the whole "for now" gag..... nice, but for right now I mean himself not his soon-to-be-suffering & snuffed sib.....So just imagine if your best friend was your older brother? What does that say? I'm sure the 'tart could tell us as he is a clever word-twisting little shit, I give him that much."

F1: "Yeah poor dude and that must be an even greater hassle for ole' lumpy nuts&asshole...I mean aside from that impending 6-10 months of agony, the death girgle, the death rattle, & then the express trolley to worm tunnel-ville."


(10 years go by post cancer's residual social snuffery & resulting isolation...thank god for DIG & VOD)

Galt: "Geez, I'm glad that loser wrote all these spot-on & brilliant VOD reviews before he blew his brains out after I was cruel to him as I'd be sifting through a scowl of shit right now to get to anything decent outside the squirting & gay foot fetish categories . Honey, waddle your one-legged ass over here, suck on this for me, then click to scene 2, & then we'll go bail our tart son out of jail."

And so forth. Now, I dunno being somwhat prejudiced & non-partial, but I'd say that's one of the more brilliant things I've written up there over the past while. But as for the morale of the tale, Galt's psyche assessment is 100% right - though he couldn't spot a frustrated genius artist if one came up his ex-heartbreaking & cheating girlfriend's squirting snatch, punched her in the face, made a cage with her bones, & all the while whistled a tune by Warren Zevon just before joining them both minus a right-side of a face & skull.

-The End -

Sorry I don't have a bow and I agree I could have at least wrapped with tinfoil but I got my own scowl of shit to sift through per the morale & inspiration & fuck you.