Goatweed's Props AND DIG's Redemption & 'Madness' Revealed

[diceisgod]

Chapter 2: FACTS vs. Filth

"Taxi, laxy, just the factsy, Maxie!"

"Look, kid, don't waste my time with your blood-sampling fingerprinty hocus-pocus!"

Dead MilkMen - Now Everybody's Me

[Rodney:] Joe, shut up!

Everybody hates Edie Brickell
All my favourite shows are on TV
All the restaurants serve my favourite food
'Cause now everybody's me

Now my apartment's really crowded
'Cause I live there and I'm everybody
And everybody's sleeping with my girl
But, hey, everybody's me

Now everybody's me [x4]

Everybody's watching Married with Children
Everybody's into bestiality
The stores stopped selling Amstel light
'Cause now everybody's me

Everybody loves Charles Manson
Everybody wants to set him free
And everybody's on the parole board
'Cause now everybody's me

Now everybody's me [x4]

I had to put an end to war
Didn't make much sense to shoot at myself
No more Christians, Jews, Muslims or Amway salesmen
Just a whole planet of TV addicts

Everybody's got hairy feet
Everybody follows my philosophy
Everybody's got a nephew named Jeff
'Cause now everybody's me

They had to lower all the basketball nets
'Cause everybody's only 5 foot 3
And everybody likes to dress like a monkey
'Cause now everybody's me

Now everybody's me [x4]

Now everybody's into what I do
Steve Albini, John? and Frank Sinatra sound exactly like me
I even set up a duo with Julio Iglesias
It was called Me and Julio Down By the Crackhouse
'Cause even Julio Iglesias is me
I have the number one album
I have all the albums
'Cause now everybody's me!



Now, I understand that some of you don't know Sarah Jane, so I'll tell
you a little bit about her. She's a lesbian Eskimo midget albino. She
went to college and she started the Lesbian midget Eskimo Albino
Student Union, and four hundred people signed up. There they were,
hundreds of 'em, lesbian midget left-handed Eskimo albinos. Did I
mention the fact that she's left-handed? She's left-handed, alright.

Girl's got some strange hobbies. One of her hobbies is lowering children
into open manholes, which is kinda difficult 'cause a lot of the
children are taller than her, her being a midget and everything... or
her being a left-handed midget... or her being a left-handed lesbian
midget... or her being a left-handed lesbian albino midget... or her
being a lesbian left-handed albino midget Eskimo... life can be really
difficult on that young lady.

She bit me once, you know. Right here, ya see this? Left a mark. She was
lowerin' a friend of mine's kid into the sewer, I run up, and tried to
stop her. I said, "Listen there, you lesbian midget left-handed albino!
And you stop right there!" Then she bit me. I'm afraid I'm gonna... I'm
gonna turn into a lesbian left-handed midget albino when the moon is
full.

Oh my God, the moon is full tonight! I can feel myself shrinking! I can
feel myself getting left-handed! I can feel myself getting the urge to
build an igloo! I can feel my skin turning white and my eyes getting
red! I can feel... I can feel the urge... to buy a Suzanne Vega album!!

NOOO! NNNNNOOOO!!!!
NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Oh, I'm okay; it was just gas

Poster A #1:

simple cut and paste, you can't tell context, but get the point.

#1
Too many shitheads feel that they have something funny or informative to say. This board should get back to it's roots. Maybe people lurking isn't such a bad thing.

#2
No, the board shouldn't be shut down because said individual doesn't like it, some people may enjoy the inane volley between GW and his believers.

#3
Well I must thank whoever placed me in the wonderful position of having to decide whether to deny the fact that I am indeed he, or to attempt in vain to masquerade as one with the inimitable style...

#4
Who doesn't.

PS: Whoever orchestrated the purple throbbatron epileptic fit should be commended. However, it is offensive and it should be removed, because I can't see God damn it (I really can't).

#5
I don't recall addressing you.

#6
I finally re-enter this tiger's den and this is how you treat me <blah>, after those PMs, yeah you don't want me to talk about those do you. We can either discuss this like men, or we can resort to the other option

#7
Be quiet whoever the last poster was, I am here to dispatch <blah>. Then the nomenclature will be restored to it's former glory.

#8
Does anyone hear me talking to them, they know all these people think they know everything, but the funny thing is, they don't, the jokes on them. Is it you that the joke is on? You don't know do you? Do you have a joke going with someone about this? Maybe they are fucking with you. Maybe every single person in this thread is laughing at you.

#8

Did you instigate or authorize an IP ban <blah>?

Poster A #2:
I just cut and pasted the posts.

I'll unban your IP, need to figure out who did it and if it was <board owner> tell him I am doing so.

I need to run and <remove & take care of personal BS> real fast.

any insight on the posts, let me know

Poster DIG:

I LOVE IT!

Tell the troll from me that he's brilliant!

HOWEVER...how exactly he might know my IP addy such that he can make another that is close for his "mask" is worrisome. I would surmise he is a mod/admin on another board (or yours) - that is if there is no "insane crazy" coincidences and he lives near here and has a near-identical IP addy....bollocks.

There's some info for you that you might have guessed already. On the otherhand, (me being very ingnorant per such things)...if not a mod/admin with access to my IP...how would they know it or get it? This option and any related "shady" factors/conclusions might make me change my mind about my "fan".

Anyway, you can tell your "troll" I said 'Hi' and awesome work...but ask him to please be "civil".

Regards


PS. The slate is now clean BUT the official 'deal-sealer' will be your public announcement when you feel the time is right.

Poster DIG #2:

<removed my guess of who it was....shot in the dark and prob wrong>

I'd bet the balls on it...but have been wrong before. Who that person is or was...I have no clue...but I hope a mod/admin...ie someone with the means to scope my IP for their little joke.

Poster A #1:

Nobody from XYZ with admin rights (only 4 of us) would give an IP out regardless of how bad they hated someone, not gonna happen. Plenty of trolls from other boards come here and try to push buttons and people were all after those IP's and it just is not tolerated. if an admin shared an IP from that site, either he or me is gone.

Who knows about the IP. I agree, fuckin suspicious as shit, but the admins of XYZ, or myself and admin, really don't care enough about this shit for that kind of faggotry.

What other board did you piss off or call out a mod that would have access to your IP and IT know how to pull that shit?

As far as clean slate, no offense, just being honest, I really don't care. You like me, hate me, cool with me is not going to phase me. Not being cocky or arrogant, but this messageboard shit is just not real to me so I don't lose sleep over shit. I am who I am and and have made several good friends and more enemies, whichever way it goes is cool with me.

I just smoked a fat bowl and had some nice wine at dinner, so excuse the gibberish that might be contained in above message.

Poster A #2

<Your removed wild guess> is not a mod or admin there, but who knows. The only people I can guarantee is not sharing an IP that is a Mod over there would be goat for sure, and does not seem like a thing peter dragon would do either.

btw, the comcast PA ip is orginating in the north east are of Philly.

Poster DIG:

I believe you. As for "liking/hating" ...yes it's irrelevant...

BUT I would hope you (as a mod, and rep on your board) see the sense in PUBLICALLY clearing the air and stating my innocence in this matter...for reasons of class & "professionalism"...if not for my affection.

That's the point I wish to get across...as I, like you, care not if I like you....irrelevance factor again....if you can folla that...

So anyway, I have stated my spiel...provided my best guess...now I leave this to you and await feedback.

Regards

Poster A:

I have no issue posting that it is not you.

understand my position right now, I have no idea what to believe.

Of course, with that said I am 95% sure it is probably not you. You will be cleared if it was not you, It seems to mean something to you, so I can show some class when i need to.

Poster DIG #1:

Good deal. If you DO find out it WAS me with 100% certainty (per piss poor investigative skills or whatever incompetence that might play a hand in such a HUGE error)....I will go down on a dog on webcam and post it on your board. But you won't find that out and if you do determine that and believe it in the end, you will have been 100% WRONG instead of the 95% RIGHT in which you are leaning right now. That said, I understand your 5% of doubt....that's smart and reassurring.

I am patient (& confident in my innocence & your investigative prowess) and will let things unfold...no rush here...and lastly I appreciate (in advance) you following through and agreeing to that "class act" just before in your last PM. It DOES mean a lot to me as I am the only one allowed to disgrace myself...not some fucko with a kola bear proxy connection or whatever.

Reagrds & Happy Hunting

(NOTE: Much below is cropped to protect the "innocent". My "wild" guess (and "tooling around presentation") was not so "wild"...I like facts and presented them in full, in detail, BUT I don't want to: MAKE FALSE ACCUSATIONS UNTIL I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT....CLASS....RESPECT....DURR...ETC)

Poster DIG #2:

Obviously, the guy don't know shit from shaving cream. Sure, some people sound like douches when they try to press the issue per a vocabulary beyond their education, experience, cognitive limits, etc. I assure you (take it for what you will) this is my natural way of communicating when writing/posting...nothings forced...not intended to seem forced (there are exceptions of course where I will be "dense" or abscure" but never "jibbering" ie all words used within definitional & logical parameters & constraints though maybe extraneous verbage is used for effect & "pissing-off"....See what I mean? But I admit even sometimes when 'talking' I will maybe (unnoticed by me) throw a "therefore" at someone...but for some reason most don't behave as rudely nor slander & pontificate - openly anyway - my "pseudo-intellectual" pipedreams...as just because I know what a "buttfor'" is for, don't mean I don't know what a pugalist ist...btw that's a j/k & another attempt to project genius verses the true reality which is I'm no better than Mike Tyson...yeah sures I ain't.

But to get serious, I think you see where this character is coming from...right from the start even. He finds my vocabulary* offensive, funny, or whatever. Anyway, I do agree it makes a nice premise for his hijacking of the "DIG brand" and the his amusing trolling joke that he's playing on your board.

*(actually jealousy &/or ignorance of my masterfully comical & APPROPRIATE use of this vocabulary is the issue..whether some can understand me or not, I care not...I have a "Diagram a DIG sentence/post/thread" OPEN CHALLENGE out there TO ALL & ANYONE btw with the BALLS... so some fucko can perhaps try to make a case against me with a fucking basis in FACT but...nvrwmind that all that "FACT" BS, right?)

Last point follows. You sent me that thread blurb and you will notice the crazy ass and painfully forced "big word theme" card said DIG impersonator is playing. Again, funny stuff. Also, you will notice his direct attack on YOU in said thread volley. Now, I direct you to the ABC thread where I acknowledge him. So again...he attacks YOU...OUT OF THE BLUE seemingly....Suspicious or no?

So there you go...some more "assistance" for your investigation of this "scandal" (no rushes though...it just struck me fun to put this together for you). Keep in mind, of course, I might be wrong - even in addition to being a long-winded, syllable-slinging bullshitter with dingelberries for brains. Your call, their call, my balling laughter. Hope it was useful aside from the ridiculousness...but...

"Low profile ain't my business, Colley" - You Know Who

Regards
DIG

Poster A:

I don't know, could be him, but i really doubt it. I don't know the guy, but he does not seem like the type that could or would pull that off. Then again, he has gone silent for days now.

Under that assumption, it ain't you.
Bottom line, I learned some stuff about IP's from my IT dude over the past few days. Probably rookie knowledge, but i fucking don't deal with this shit, so who knows how wide know it is by messageboard folk. If you have an IP address, with the right tools and know how you can trace it backwards until origination or server it is connecting to.. To mask an originating IP, he said you gotta be CIA fuckin sharp to pull that shit off, but it is possible albeit very unlikely.
Is the <blah blah> side of Philly anywhere close to where you are?

The IP is being traced to that specific area. If so, somebody knew that and got the origination IP to be in that area. Assuming he knew you used comcast since he would have to had your IP, he could tell the general area you were posting from with some skills and access pull it off going through a server in that area. If you are in <blah blah> Philly, smart muther fucker is doing this.

If you don't live in <blah blah> philly, this hack is actually living in <blah blah> Philly. That or had the general region of PA you were in and picked one, but that's a big fucking area to guess. either way, somebody had your IP and is fucking making it look to everyone that it is you at work or from some other place, who knows.

To get a name of the person with that IP from Comcast is another fucking story. It's not going to happen. A subpoena to Comcast for disclosure in a legal proceeding where said IP address violated a law or some trump up charge still does not get you the fuckers identity in most cases. Privacy policies these days are fuckin ridiculous.

So I am not ever going to 100% prove it's not you and if it is not, which I believe pretty much it is not, I sure as hell am not going to find out who it is. The only way, is the orginating IP or the proxy IP series he he using is found on another board. I check the boards I have admin access to and it's never been used on those.

I had a few drinks this afternoon so I could be rambling but a couple other thought that just pop into my head.

- how the fuck did somebody get your IP if they are pretending to be you in the same area you live in?

- If this is just pure luck that the imatator lives in <blah blah> philly, that narrows who it could be and is extremley fuckin small worldish.

- You don't like me, I don't care, so how do I not know you are not playing some warped DIG game. Like I said, I don't know you or what you would or would not do.

I'll think of more in a little while, you can digest that.

I need a smoke.

Poster DIG:

Redemption. Yes, it's sweet though perhaps some doubt (understandable) still lingers. I think I have the solution but of course "reasonable doubt" is wise. BUT (believe me or no) I have better things to do than play such goofy games that maybe 1-2 people would be privy to or "victim of" (as I DON'T EVER single people or a board out that way...and if I ever did...I wouldn't press things so far...ie THIS far....just to spite 1-2 people or 1 board).

Now my explanation which concerns <blah blah> Philly. I said (before your troubles after I "quit" XYZ, that I lived in NE Philly...I said this quite openly. Now perhaps this <blah blah> Philly person read that and can therefore pull-off the caper w/o knowing my specific IP??? What do you think? Ask you're tech counselor or whoever if you want (actually, I would be interested in learning about it too).

Lastly, I don't want that person's name but I appreciate the efforts/research. Let me tell you about the regions of Philly: North side, west side = NIGGERS of the worst sort (or white people in a really REALLY BAD way). East, South - Irish/Italisn/Russian/etc mobbers/bangers - the South region most especially...skullcrackers, hustlers, etc ie. not much better than niggers actually (as I don't have anything against any race in reality but I do have that N word to use against them).

That said, our scammer is in between in the <blah blah> area. And though it's wise to not blindly assume that (but I will tell you it is true & fact as I KNOW...grew up here...durr) <blah blah> is as FUCKED as the sum of it's parts...it is indeed. Howveer, the NE is a strange bird (the other mid-sections are the same). Plenty of everything but not extreme levels of any ONE thing...Does that make sense?

So just so you know...I don't hate you nor anyone else on msgbrds. I don't "love" anyone either. I don't make such hasty emotional commitments based on the limited info the msgbrd platform provides. I "respect" people. I don't "respect" others. I will respect YOU if you create a thread on your board and clear the air per this controversy. No apologies are needed on your end...No pride to swallow...Just FACT reporting....You can even insult me. So, if you do this AND unblock my REAL IP, I will return and post there and forgive all who hassled me (but not take any shit off anyone and not respond per the usual as needed..."rational reactionary"...that's me...but indeed brutal...with much relish).

So that's that. You may think this an elaborate scam on my part and forever think that & let this end at that. I think THAT'S wise. It's good to be "cautious". However, (and I'm not trying to be insulting here) I think it's probably moreso ABSURD. Think about it and let me know...ie if you don't choose to just let it drop. I did enjoy your board btw and would look forward to posting again. Otherwise though, I won't cry about it if I don't ever again. Further, I give you the benefit of the doubt and will say I respect you right NOW as I wait for a "positive" response. This "trial" respect I extend willbe valid until 2008 as silence up&until&after year-end will then nullify this trial....but please note that that don't mean I will do anything to you or "focus" on you at all or in any way or anything else. Like I said...I don't "focus" and press the issue to the point of "too far"....EVER

Regards