12-18-2007, 07:38 AM
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Another thing that these degenerates do is answer questions from idiotic fantasy players too dense, uninformed, unknowledgeable, or a combination thereof, to manage their own fantasy team. I’ve spent the majority of the season attacking the experts, and deservedly so. But the whole reason these experts even exist to begin with is because of these retard players that think they need advice. So now I will take a look at one “expert” and the advice he gives to these cretins that think they need their hands held to have a successful fantasy season.
Before I begin, I must again first point out how inherently flawed this whole entire process is. These people email their favorite “expert” and simply ask who to start. And the jackass answers them! Sometimes it is just a simple matter of “start X over Y and Z, no matter what.” But in order to make a well-informed judgment among two very similar players, there is far more information that needs to be taken into consideration. Not all fantasy leagues are created equal. The league settings have a lot to do with things. These are all questions that the “expert” never considers. How many yards per point do RBs/WRs get? Are there points for receptions? How many starters do you play overall, and how many per position? What is the scoring system? How deep is the league? Who are you going against? And the most important of all, what does the rest of your roster look like? I see experts giving trade advice to people who just ask shit like, “should I trade Willie Parker, Andre Johnson, and Kevin Curtis for Brett Favre and Terrell Owens”, without giving any further details as to the league settings, scoring system, and what the rest of his team looks like. How fucking stupid is that!? I suppose there are enough mind-numbingly stupid people in this country that buy into this crap.
The first moron in this article is in a keeper league and asks who to keep between Chad Johnson, Braylon Edwards, Matt Hasselbeck, or whether he should pick up and keep Ronnie Brown.
The response by Michael Hurcomb: I think you already have your answer: no. The guy you most likely will keep is Edwards. Johnson is a close second. It doesn't hurt to add Brown in lieu of either Watson or Jackson, but Brown will becoming off a serious knee injury next season and might even have a new backfield mate in Darren McFadden. Also, you can likely swipe Brown in possibly Round 3 or 4; whereas there is a chance Edwards' value is elevated to a Round 2 pick.
I’m not debating his choice of Edwards; in fact I’d be inclined to agree with him. But his reasoning is flawed. He’s saying the Dolphins might draft Darren McFadden, which could take value away from Brown. Well, what about the Browns? Cleveland might give Brady Quinn a chance to start next year, which could take value away from Edwards. I don’t know how likely it is that he overtakes Anderson after the year he had, but why would you even consider that? The Vikings might have a new QB next year, but that’s not going to go into my thinking of keeping Peterson. Steve Hutchinson might get hurt next year. You can’t base your decisions on things like that. And how do you know how valuable WRs are vs. RBs in this league? How do you know it’s even a standard style draft? Shouldn’t this factor into the decision making more than what a team might do in the draft?
I'm in a Fantasy Football "pickle" this week. I have three outstanding backs: Brian Westbrook (at Dallas), Willis McGahee (vs. Miami) and uber-hot Ryan Grant (at St. Louis). I'm not sure which two guys I should play this week. My gut is telling me to sit Westbrook, but my head is telling me that he's just too talented to ride the pine. I could also sit McGahee because he's coming off of a brutal week, but he's playing the lowly Dolphins. Help please! --Casey Durnin, Vancouver
What a fucking idiot. Yeah, go ahead and bench Westbrook, pickle dick. That’s the advice I’d give to this loser. If you’re this far into the season and you need advice on whether or not to start Brian Westbrook, you deserve to lose. I hope his kneel down at the 1 ended up costing this guy money. The choice between McGahee and Grant is not so easy. Predictably, Hurcomb suggests to start McGahee because of the matchup with the worst run defense in the league. I would have done the same. Was it the right decision?
Grant: 18 car, 55 yards, TD, 2 rec, 5 yards, lost fumble.
McGahee: 29 car, 104 yards, 1 rec, 2 yards.
PUSH
The next morbidly unconfident ball-less jerkoff needed help deciding between Dwayne Bowe (vs. Ten), Anthony Gonzalez (at Oak), or Jabar Gaffney (vs. NYJ). At least he gave the small courtesy of revealing his top 2 receivers. Though once again the rest of his team, league settings, scoring, etc. was not revealed. Still, that didn’t prevent this expert from looking like a goon:
Gonzalez had his breakout performance against the Ravens in Week 14. He caught six passes for 134 yards and two touchdowns. However, Baltimore's secondary was a little beat up and without top corner Chris McAlister. The Raiders' secondary is in perfect health and will showcase a top-five pass defense against the Colts. Gonzalez will likely remain in the starting lineup as Marvin Harrison (knee) is still a longshot to play.
Okay, so Gonzalez is not a good start because of the matchup. He had a breakout performance last week, he’s still in the starting lineup, and he has Peyton Manning throwing to him. But Oakland’s had a good secondary all year, so Gonzalez isn’t worth starting. And all year, the best QB Oakland has played against was Favre, last week, who threw for 266 yards and 2 TD’s to 2 different receivers, including an 80-yard bomb. And now they’re facing Peyton Manning.
Gaffney, who is at best the fourth wide receiver in New England, is posting stats better than any non-starting wide receiver in the NFL. He does have a touchdown in three straight weeks, but 56 of his 122 yards last week came on one play. If he doesn't get the big play, his numbers suffer. But we could very well see a ton of big plays Sunday as the Patriots look to pound the Jets into submission.
Let’s just conveniently forget about the forecast for Sunday in New England. Brady’s obviously going to throw 4 TD’s against the lowly Jets, and at least one of them will surely go to Gaffney, even though he’s at best Brady’s 4th option.
Lastly, Bowe's numbers have fallen off in the second half of the season as the Chiefs play QB carousel. He is no longer a reliable Fantasy WR and playing the eighth best pass defense in the NFL in Week 15 doesn't help his cause. I can't believe I am going to say this, but Gaffney is the flavor of the month and probably your best bet.
And now we revert back to the matchups. Tennessee’s 8th-best pass defense and Oakland’s 5th-best pass defense warrant starting Gaffney in the snow. Brilliant! The result:
Gonzalez: 7 rec, 86 yards, TD
Bowe: 5 rec, 64 yards
Gaffney: 2 rec, 8 yards
Advantage: Gonzalez
WRONG!
Next we have have Selvin Young at Houston or Clinton Portis at the Giants. He picked Young.
Young: 8 car, 34 yards, 5 rec, 8 yards
Portis: 25 car, 126 yards, TD
Advantage: Portis
WRONG!
Roddy White (at TB) or Kevin Curtis (at Dal)
Many Fantasy owners are curious to know what will happen to White's production now that Bobby Petrino has exited stage left. My only answer is that very little should change. The interim Falcons coaching staff realizes White is their best option at wide receiver and will continue to feed him the ball. He has a touchdown in each of his last three games with Joey Harrington, Byron Leftwich, Chris Redman, Oscar the Grouch, Tom Brady's infant child, etc., throwing him passes. Curtis continues to give us erratic performances and had only five catches for 51 yards in his earlier meeting with Dallas.
1) You’re not funny.
2) You’re wrong yet again.
White: 1 rec, 4 yards
Curtis: 5 rec, 40 yards
Advantage: Curtis
WRONG!
Larry Fitzgerald (at NO) or Braylon Edwards (vs. Buf)
First of all, how shallow can a league be that you have to decide between two #1 receivers? What is this, a 6-team league? Who is the other must-start WR that mandates Fitzgerald or Edwards must be benched? Or is this a league that only starts 1 WR a week? In any event, asshole face’s response says it all:
Fitzgerald returned to the gridiron in Week 14 after missing a game with a groin injury. He caught six passes for 79 yards and a touchdown. His score came late in the fourth quarter with the game well out of reach against Seattle. He didn't have running mate Anquan Boldin (toe) and there is no guarantee he will be back this week. Despite the numbers, Fitzgerald struggled because there was no real threat to pull the Seahawks defenders away. Still, Fitzgerald has six touchdowns in his last four games. Edwards' breakout season continues as he now has 13 touchdowns and one in three straight games. The Bills and Saints both have pathetic pass defenses, so this one is a real toss up. My pick: Fitzgerald, especially if Boldin is healthy.
Don’t you fucking people see a pattern here? Don’t you see what he is doing to make his decisions? Don’t you realize that you, too, can use the tools that the experts use to sound so smart? All he did was look at recent performance and, since it’s a question regarding wide receivers, the opponents’ pass defense ranking. If it were a running back, he’d toggle his view to show the run defense ranking. That’s all there fucking is to it. You don’t have to consider factors such as near blizzard conditions in Cleveland. Oh sure, you can write about things you remember from watching last week’s game to try and sound smart and well-informed. Fitzgerald’s TD was late and meaningless. But it’s always going to come down to matchups with these people. That’s what determines the expertise of their advice 90% of the time. I especially like how he throws in “especially if Boldin is healthy.” Well, what if he’s not, dick for brains? Then what? Then would you start Edwards? What if Boldin – or Fitzgerald - is a game time decision? Both games are early, so he’ll have time to make the adjustment either way. Don’t just fucking leave your reader hanging like that. What an inconsiderate prick.
There is something majorly fucked up with this league that he can’t start both Fitzgerald and Edwards, so I’m not even going to count the results for this one. Besides, it would probably end in a push anyway, with neither doing too much despite facing “pathetic pass defenses.”
Donald Lee (at Stl) or Jeremy Shockey (vs. Was)
Shockey is having a pretty bad season and it can easily be summed up by his first two December games -- three catches for 29 yards and zero touchdowns. But it is not entirely his fault. He doesn't exactly have an All-Pro quarterback slinging him passes. Lee, on the other hand, does have an All-Pro caliber QB and the fifth-year tight end out of Mississippi State is experiencing a career season (569 yards, five TDs). Shockey did have one of his better games this season against the Redskins Week 3 (five catches for 79 yards), but Lee is the more reliable target.
Okay, so now we’re going to look at the QB’s? Only when analyzing TE’s though. He didn’t even mention Kurt Warner or Derek Anderson in the previous pick, or Brodie Croyle or Peyton Manning from that earlier receiver question. Why not cite the Rams’ and Redskins’ pass defense rankings? Why are there a different set of rules for deciding between TE’s as there is for deciding WR’s? The answer is simple: LAZINESS.
Shockey: 2 rec, 18 yards
Lee: 1 rec, 4 yards, TD
Advantage: Lee
RIGHT!
Chester Taylor (vs. Chi) or LenDale White (at KC)
Taylor has just 22 carries in the last two games as he is once again sharing the rushing responsibilities with rookie sensation Adrian Peterson. Taylor had less carries than a banged up Peterson Week 14 against the 49ers, but still managed 101 yards on eight carries. Granted, 84 yards came on one run, but he still has at least one touchdown in four straight games and the Vikings are committed to putting the ball in his hands. White returned from Fantasy oblivion in Week 14 against the Chargers to rush for 113 yards and a touchdown. He had been sharing carries with Chris Brown in the previous four games and it is really anyone's guess on a weekly basis how the Titans intend to use their running backs. My pick: White, unless Peterson is in street clothes and that leaves Taylor with the bulk of carries.
Once again he qualifies his pick with the injury status of one of the players’ teammates. Peterson was likely to play all week, so the only way he’d be in street clothes would be if he were a late, game time scratch. As of Saturday night and Sunday morning, there was nothing indicating he’d be unable to play. HOWEVER, had he not played, what good would it have done this guy? Taylor played on Monday night, while White played on Sunday. So he’d have had to have come to a decision by Sunday. A clear-cut, qualifier-free decision. Is that so hard to make? Instead let’s give your reader, who took time out of his very busy life of washing dishes to write to you seeking your advice, a very vague representation of an ANSWER to what should be a very straightforward question. Idiots, on both ends of the monitor.
White: 24 car, 93 yards
Taylor: 5 car, 31 yards, 1 rec, 7 yards
Advantage: White
RIGHT!, unless you don’t have the balls to commit to a straightforward answer.
Ben Roethlisberger (vs. Jac) or Carson Palmer (at SF)
The Bengals have had a very frustrating season, and as a result, Palmer's numbers have suffered. The fact he has zero touchdowns and two interceptions in his last two games is proof enough he is driving Fantasy owners crazy. He does have 21 touchdowns passes, but also 17 interceptions. Roethlisberger has had a very pleasing Fantasy season and his numbers (26 TDs, 11 INTs) look more like what we would expect from Palmer. The Jaguars pass defense is not as strong has it has been in past years, but they have only allowed 15 passing touchdowns and the 49ers have allowed 20. My pick: Palmer finally gets on track Week 15.
That whole reply could have just as easily been done by not writing a single word and instead providing 2 links:
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/stats/byposition?pos=QB">http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/stats/byposition?pos=QB</a><!-- m -->
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/stats/byteam?group=Defense&cat=Passing&conference=NFL&year=season_2007&sort=530&old_category=Total&old_group=Offense">http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/stats/bytea ... up=Offense</a><!-- m -->
Or, if he wanted to be a bigger dick than usual, he could have replied by telling Juan Casanova Jr. to take some initiative and responsibility for his life and find his way to a fucking stat page. It will make these decisions so much easier. Then you won’t have to waste your time emailing me while I’m trying to get my much-needed experts sleep, to keep me extra experty for years to come.
Palmer: 19-31, 251 yards, TD
Roethlisberger: 16-33, 146 yards, 3 TD
Advantage: Roethlisberger
WRONG!
As if he were going out of his way to further prove my point, he ends his little advice column with this gem:
If I told you that 13 of the top 20 Fantasy scorers heading into Week 15 were quarterbacks, would you believe me? There has been such a priority put on drafting Fantasy running backs, but the stats in 2007 show that drafting a reliable quarterback is as important as making sure your running back stable is complete. Add to the fact that running backs are among the most tackled players in the NFL, we are seeing a lot of tandems emerge, further dropping some players' Fantasy value. Still, in our latest mock draft looking ahead to next season, 18 of the first 24 picks were running backs. Fantasy prescription: As some Fantasy owners already begin to ponder 2008 draft strategies, I offer the advice that you shouldn't overlook quarterbacks or elite wide receivers in the early rounds. The numbers don't lie.
If I told you that not everyone is looking at the same list of fantasy scorers as you are, would you believe me? Or just spew some more nonsense from your presumptuous mouth? Yeah, you’re really giving some world class advice there. It’s important to have a reliable QB. I’ll need to write that down and remember that for next year. I’ll also need to remember that the numbers don’t lie. Except when you add the WRONG ONES.
There’s something about Darwin Walker at the end of the article, but I’m just spent already from sifting through this idiocy. Of his 7 graded picks, he got 2 right. Yet hundreds more will be clamoring next week for his advice. What a great fucking system. Only in America can consistent ineptitude be so continually rewarded. Get a clue.
Another thing that these degenerates do is answer questions from idiotic fantasy players too dense, uninformed, unknowledgeable, or a combination thereof, to manage their own fantasy team. I’ve spent the majority of the season attacking the experts, and deservedly so. But the whole reason these experts even exist to begin with is because of these retard players that think they need advice. So now I will take a look at one “expert” and the advice he gives to these cretins that think they need their hands held to have a successful fantasy season.
Before I begin, I must again first point out how inherently flawed this whole entire process is. These people email their favorite “expert” and simply ask who to start. And the jackass answers them! Sometimes it is just a simple matter of “start X over Y and Z, no matter what.” But in order to make a well-informed judgment among two very similar players, there is far more information that needs to be taken into consideration. Not all fantasy leagues are created equal. The league settings have a lot to do with things. These are all questions that the “expert” never considers. How many yards per point do RBs/WRs get? Are there points for receptions? How many starters do you play overall, and how many per position? What is the scoring system? How deep is the league? Who are you going against? And the most important of all, what does the rest of your roster look like? I see experts giving trade advice to people who just ask shit like, “should I trade Willie Parker, Andre Johnson, and Kevin Curtis for Brett Favre and Terrell Owens”, without giving any further details as to the league settings, scoring system, and what the rest of his team looks like. How fucking stupid is that!? I suppose there are enough mind-numbingly stupid people in this country that buy into this crap.
The first moron in this article is in a keeper league and asks who to keep between Chad Johnson, Braylon Edwards, Matt Hasselbeck, or whether he should pick up and keep Ronnie Brown.
The response by Michael Hurcomb: I think you already have your answer: no. The guy you most likely will keep is Edwards. Johnson is a close second. It doesn't hurt to add Brown in lieu of either Watson or Jackson, but Brown will becoming off a serious knee injury next season and might even have a new backfield mate in Darren McFadden. Also, you can likely swipe Brown in possibly Round 3 or 4; whereas there is a chance Edwards' value is elevated to a Round 2 pick.
I’m not debating his choice of Edwards; in fact I’d be inclined to agree with him. But his reasoning is flawed. He’s saying the Dolphins might draft Darren McFadden, which could take value away from Brown. Well, what about the Browns? Cleveland might give Brady Quinn a chance to start next year, which could take value away from Edwards. I don’t know how likely it is that he overtakes Anderson after the year he had, but why would you even consider that? The Vikings might have a new QB next year, but that’s not going to go into my thinking of keeping Peterson. Steve Hutchinson might get hurt next year. You can’t base your decisions on things like that. And how do you know how valuable WRs are vs. RBs in this league? How do you know it’s even a standard style draft? Shouldn’t this factor into the decision making more than what a team might do in the draft?
I'm in a Fantasy Football "pickle" this week. I have three outstanding backs: Brian Westbrook (at Dallas), Willis McGahee (vs. Miami) and uber-hot Ryan Grant (at St. Louis). I'm not sure which two guys I should play this week. My gut is telling me to sit Westbrook, but my head is telling me that he's just too talented to ride the pine. I could also sit McGahee because he's coming off of a brutal week, but he's playing the lowly Dolphins. Help please! --Casey Durnin, Vancouver
What a fucking idiot. Yeah, go ahead and bench Westbrook, pickle dick. That’s the advice I’d give to this loser. If you’re this far into the season and you need advice on whether or not to start Brian Westbrook, you deserve to lose. I hope his kneel down at the 1 ended up costing this guy money. The choice between McGahee and Grant is not so easy. Predictably, Hurcomb suggests to start McGahee because of the matchup with the worst run defense in the league. I would have done the same. Was it the right decision?
Grant: 18 car, 55 yards, TD, 2 rec, 5 yards, lost fumble.
McGahee: 29 car, 104 yards, 1 rec, 2 yards.
PUSH
The next morbidly unconfident ball-less jerkoff needed help deciding between Dwayne Bowe (vs. Ten), Anthony Gonzalez (at Oak), or Jabar Gaffney (vs. NYJ). At least he gave the small courtesy of revealing his top 2 receivers. Though once again the rest of his team, league settings, scoring, etc. was not revealed. Still, that didn’t prevent this expert from looking like a goon:
Gonzalez had his breakout performance against the Ravens in Week 14. He caught six passes for 134 yards and two touchdowns. However, Baltimore's secondary was a little beat up and without top corner Chris McAlister. The Raiders' secondary is in perfect health and will showcase a top-five pass defense against the Colts. Gonzalez will likely remain in the starting lineup as Marvin Harrison (knee) is still a longshot to play.
Okay, so Gonzalez is not a good start because of the matchup. He had a breakout performance last week, he’s still in the starting lineup, and he has Peyton Manning throwing to him. But Oakland’s had a good secondary all year, so Gonzalez isn’t worth starting. And all year, the best QB Oakland has played against was Favre, last week, who threw for 266 yards and 2 TD’s to 2 different receivers, including an 80-yard bomb. And now they’re facing Peyton Manning.
Gaffney, who is at best the fourth wide receiver in New England, is posting stats better than any non-starting wide receiver in the NFL. He does have a touchdown in three straight weeks, but 56 of his 122 yards last week came on one play. If he doesn't get the big play, his numbers suffer. But we could very well see a ton of big plays Sunday as the Patriots look to pound the Jets into submission.
Let’s just conveniently forget about the forecast for Sunday in New England. Brady’s obviously going to throw 4 TD’s against the lowly Jets, and at least one of them will surely go to Gaffney, even though he’s at best Brady’s 4th option.
Lastly, Bowe's numbers have fallen off in the second half of the season as the Chiefs play QB carousel. He is no longer a reliable Fantasy WR and playing the eighth best pass defense in the NFL in Week 15 doesn't help his cause. I can't believe I am going to say this, but Gaffney is the flavor of the month and probably your best bet.
And now we revert back to the matchups. Tennessee’s 8th-best pass defense and Oakland’s 5th-best pass defense warrant starting Gaffney in the snow. Brilliant! The result:
Gonzalez: 7 rec, 86 yards, TD
Bowe: 5 rec, 64 yards
Gaffney: 2 rec, 8 yards
Advantage: Gonzalez
WRONG!
Next we have have Selvin Young at Houston or Clinton Portis at the Giants. He picked Young.
Young: 8 car, 34 yards, 5 rec, 8 yards
Portis: 25 car, 126 yards, TD
Advantage: Portis
WRONG!
Roddy White (at TB) or Kevin Curtis (at Dal)
Many Fantasy owners are curious to know what will happen to White's production now that Bobby Petrino has exited stage left. My only answer is that very little should change. The interim Falcons coaching staff realizes White is their best option at wide receiver and will continue to feed him the ball. He has a touchdown in each of his last three games with Joey Harrington, Byron Leftwich, Chris Redman, Oscar the Grouch, Tom Brady's infant child, etc., throwing him passes. Curtis continues to give us erratic performances and had only five catches for 51 yards in his earlier meeting with Dallas.
1) You’re not funny.
2) You’re wrong yet again.
White: 1 rec, 4 yards
Curtis: 5 rec, 40 yards
Advantage: Curtis
WRONG!
Larry Fitzgerald (at NO) or Braylon Edwards (vs. Buf)
First of all, how shallow can a league be that you have to decide between two #1 receivers? What is this, a 6-team league? Who is the other must-start WR that mandates Fitzgerald or Edwards must be benched? Or is this a league that only starts 1 WR a week? In any event, asshole face’s response says it all:
Fitzgerald returned to the gridiron in Week 14 after missing a game with a groin injury. He caught six passes for 79 yards and a touchdown. His score came late in the fourth quarter with the game well out of reach against Seattle. He didn't have running mate Anquan Boldin (toe) and there is no guarantee he will be back this week. Despite the numbers, Fitzgerald struggled because there was no real threat to pull the Seahawks defenders away. Still, Fitzgerald has six touchdowns in his last four games. Edwards' breakout season continues as he now has 13 touchdowns and one in three straight games. The Bills and Saints both have pathetic pass defenses, so this one is a real toss up. My pick: Fitzgerald, especially if Boldin is healthy.
Don’t you fucking people see a pattern here? Don’t you see what he is doing to make his decisions? Don’t you realize that you, too, can use the tools that the experts use to sound so smart? All he did was look at recent performance and, since it’s a question regarding wide receivers, the opponents’ pass defense ranking. If it were a running back, he’d toggle his view to show the run defense ranking. That’s all there fucking is to it. You don’t have to consider factors such as near blizzard conditions in Cleveland. Oh sure, you can write about things you remember from watching last week’s game to try and sound smart and well-informed. Fitzgerald’s TD was late and meaningless. But it’s always going to come down to matchups with these people. That’s what determines the expertise of their advice 90% of the time. I especially like how he throws in “especially if Boldin is healthy.” Well, what if he’s not, dick for brains? Then what? Then would you start Edwards? What if Boldin – or Fitzgerald - is a game time decision? Both games are early, so he’ll have time to make the adjustment either way. Don’t just fucking leave your reader hanging like that. What an inconsiderate prick.
There is something majorly fucked up with this league that he can’t start both Fitzgerald and Edwards, so I’m not even going to count the results for this one. Besides, it would probably end in a push anyway, with neither doing too much despite facing “pathetic pass defenses.”
Donald Lee (at Stl) or Jeremy Shockey (vs. Was)
Shockey is having a pretty bad season and it can easily be summed up by his first two December games -- three catches for 29 yards and zero touchdowns. But it is not entirely his fault. He doesn't exactly have an All-Pro quarterback slinging him passes. Lee, on the other hand, does have an All-Pro caliber QB and the fifth-year tight end out of Mississippi State is experiencing a career season (569 yards, five TDs). Shockey did have one of his better games this season against the Redskins Week 3 (five catches for 79 yards), but Lee is the more reliable target.
Okay, so now we’re going to look at the QB’s? Only when analyzing TE’s though. He didn’t even mention Kurt Warner or Derek Anderson in the previous pick, or Brodie Croyle or Peyton Manning from that earlier receiver question. Why not cite the Rams’ and Redskins’ pass defense rankings? Why are there a different set of rules for deciding between TE’s as there is for deciding WR’s? The answer is simple: LAZINESS.
Shockey: 2 rec, 18 yards
Lee: 1 rec, 4 yards, TD
Advantage: Lee
RIGHT!
Chester Taylor (vs. Chi) or LenDale White (at KC)
Taylor has just 22 carries in the last two games as he is once again sharing the rushing responsibilities with rookie sensation Adrian Peterson. Taylor had less carries than a banged up Peterson Week 14 against the 49ers, but still managed 101 yards on eight carries. Granted, 84 yards came on one run, but he still has at least one touchdown in four straight games and the Vikings are committed to putting the ball in his hands. White returned from Fantasy oblivion in Week 14 against the Chargers to rush for 113 yards and a touchdown. He had been sharing carries with Chris Brown in the previous four games and it is really anyone's guess on a weekly basis how the Titans intend to use their running backs. My pick: White, unless Peterson is in street clothes and that leaves Taylor with the bulk of carries.
Once again he qualifies his pick with the injury status of one of the players’ teammates. Peterson was likely to play all week, so the only way he’d be in street clothes would be if he were a late, game time scratch. As of Saturday night and Sunday morning, there was nothing indicating he’d be unable to play. HOWEVER, had he not played, what good would it have done this guy? Taylor played on Monday night, while White played on Sunday. So he’d have had to have come to a decision by Sunday. A clear-cut, qualifier-free decision. Is that so hard to make? Instead let’s give your reader, who took time out of his very busy life of washing dishes to write to you seeking your advice, a very vague representation of an ANSWER to what should be a very straightforward question. Idiots, on both ends of the monitor.
White: 24 car, 93 yards
Taylor: 5 car, 31 yards, 1 rec, 7 yards
Advantage: White
RIGHT!, unless you don’t have the balls to commit to a straightforward answer.
Ben Roethlisberger (vs. Jac) or Carson Palmer (at SF)
The Bengals have had a very frustrating season, and as a result, Palmer's numbers have suffered. The fact he has zero touchdowns and two interceptions in his last two games is proof enough he is driving Fantasy owners crazy. He does have 21 touchdowns passes, but also 17 interceptions. Roethlisberger has had a very pleasing Fantasy season and his numbers (26 TDs, 11 INTs) look more like what we would expect from Palmer. The Jaguars pass defense is not as strong has it has been in past years, but they have only allowed 15 passing touchdowns and the 49ers have allowed 20. My pick: Palmer finally gets on track Week 15.
That whole reply could have just as easily been done by not writing a single word and instead providing 2 links:
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/stats/byposition?pos=QB">http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/stats/byposition?pos=QB</a><!-- m -->
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/stats/byteam?group=Defense&cat=Passing&conference=NFL&year=season_2007&sort=530&old_category=Total&old_group=Offense">http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/stats/bytea ... up=Offense</a><!-- m -->
Or, if he wanted to be a bigger dick than usual, he could have replied by telling Juan Casanova Jr. to take some initiative and responsibility for his life and find his way to a fucking stat page. It will make these decisions so much easier. Then you won’t have to waste your time emailing me while I’m trying to get my much-needed experts sleep, to keep me extra experty for years to come.
Palmer: 19-31, 251 yards, TD
Roethlisberger: 16-33, 146 yards, 3 TD
Advantage: Roethlisberger
WRONG!
As if he were going out of his way to further prove my point, he ends his little advice column with this gem:
If I told you that 13 of the top 20 Fantasy scorers heading into Week 15 were quarterbacks, would you believe me? There has been such a priority put on drafting Fantasy running backs, but the stats in 2007 show that drafting a reliable quarterback is as important as making sure your running back stable is complete. Add to the fact that running backs are among the most tackled players in the NFL, we are seeing a lot of tandems emerge, further dropping some players' Fantasy value. Still, in our latest mock draft looking ahead to next season, 18 of the first 24 picks were running backs. Fantasy prescription: As some Fantasy owners already begin to ponder 2008 draft strategies, I offer the advice that you shouldn't overlook quarterbacks or elite wide receivers in the early rounds. The numbers don't lie.
If I told you that not everyone is looking at the same list of fantasy scorers as you are, would you believe me? Or just spew some more nonsense from your presumptuous mouth? Yeah, you’re really giving some world class advice there. It’s important to have a reliable QB. I’ll need to write that down and remember that for next year. I’ll also need to remember that the numbers don’t lie. Except when you add the WRONG ONES.
There’s something about Darwin Walker at the end of the article, but I’m just spent already from sifting through this idiocy. Of his 7 graded picks, he got 2 right. Yet hundreds more will be clamoring next week for his advice. What a great fucking system. Only in America can consistent ineptitude be so continually rewarded. Get a clue.