Hypothetically speaking... - Hee hee hee

[GonzoStyle]

You should invite said freind over to hang out...
Pop a copy of "Bound" in the VCR...

actually, we have seen that, and that hasn't worked...shit, we have watched porn together, and nothing has happened....oh shit, did i say we...oh no, i meant them, since this is all hypothetically anyway....LOL

Drop your pants and do the two finger split and say "what are we gonna do about this."

If that doesn't work try choloroform and some straps.