A man walks into a bar...

[Doc]

1.dont know

2. Who was the greatest Baseball player, dogs says roof

3.Bartender looks and says, where did you get that. The parot says...

4.dont know.

5. Fly lands in a Scotsman beer and starts drinking...

For number 1:

A man walks into a bar and sees a little 12" tall man on the bar playing a little piano. Perplexed, the man asks the bartender what the dilly is with the guy. The bartender points to the back room and says, "There's a genie in there, he'll grant you whatever you want."
The man asks the bartender if he can go back there and get some wishes, and the bartenders says "Sure, go right ahead."
The man goes back there and tells the genie, "I want to have a million bucks". The genie says, "Your wish is granted." and the room fills up with a million ducks. The man is perplexed, so he tells the genie, "No, I said a million BUCKS, not a million DUCKS." The genie apologizes and says, "Your wish is granted." and the ducks dissapear and are replaced by a million hockey pucks.
The man gets so angry at the genie he storms out of the back room and goes to the bartender. He yells, "Your genie sucks, he can't hear worth a damn."

The bartender stops what he doing, looks right at the man and says, "No shit Sherlock, you really think I asked for a foot-long PIANIST!"

And now for number 4:

A man walks into a bar with three ducks in his arms. He puts the ducks down at the bar and starts drinking.
The bartender knows better than to ask people about the wierd things they bring into bars, so he doesn't even acknolwedge the ducks. After a few beers, the man has to take a whiz, so he leaves his barstool. When that happens, the curious bartender goes over to the ducks to see what their story is.
He asks the first duck, "So what's your name?" The duck replies, "I'm Huey." The bartender says, "Hi Huey, how are you doing today?" The duck replies, "I'm doing great, I've had a fun day, I've been in and out of puddles all day long, it's so great to do."
The bartender then asks the second duck, "So what's your name?" The duck replies, "I'm Dewey." The bartender says, "Hi Dewey, how are you doing today?" The duck replies, "I'm doing great too, I've had a blast, I've been in and out of puddles all day long too, it's the best thing to do get yourself in a good mood."
The bartender goes to the third duck and says, "I guess you must be Louie then."
"No," growls the third duck, "my name is Puddles. And don't ask about my fucking day."