This just in....... - Apparent wild turkey terrorist attack

[IkeaBoy]

In an apparent terrorist attack, a wild turkey took deadly aim at a South Plainfield, NJ office complex crashing into a window and killing itself immediately upon impact. The attack happened today at around 2:45 pm EST. The terrorist turkey failed in it’s bid to take any human casualties in it’s suicide flight.

South Plainfield animal control was immediately called to the scene to recover the suicide turkey’s carcass. The turkey suffered a broken beak and neck but caused no damage to the building. The South Plainfield based computer repair depot will suffer a financial loss of $10 to have the turkey carcass removed. OAS, spokesperson for the facility was quoted as saying he thought the $10 charge was ridiculous. OAS was quoted as saying “I got a 25 pound dead frozen turkey free from Shoprite for Thanksgiving. Why do I have to pay $10 to have someone haul away a terrorist turkey?”

The Homeland Security office has just raised it’s turkey terrorist warning to a level orange in anticipation of another attack by wild turkeys or possibly seagulls that are sympathetic to the turkeys cause.

Gordon Jump, Howard Hesseman--comments?