04-03-2002, 11:58 PM
Today, we are deeply saddened by the loss of Maynard. A one time Asst. Administrator of the lowly internet cess pool, CDIH, Maynards life took an unexpected twist by winning the Tour De France while wearing his lumberjack vest. At first, he was considered ground breaking for his apparel but later it was learned that his vest wa not unlike Linus' blankie and he was ridiculed into seclusion. He died alone because he forced everyone to hate him. He was found in a cabin, naked except for his little red ankle socks with skulls imprinted on them. He aparently died while trying to carve a name of some sorts into his shaven chest. Police are befuddled for all that was on his chest were what they feel are random letters a, r, p, i, , k and a. He leaves behind only the remains of his goat tee, which, even in death, still grows where it has been burried on the mountian side of his death.