R.i.p. - Board member obits take two.

[Ken'sPen]

Today we gather to honor the memory of LZMF, a man who passed away tragically. LZ was on the short bus en route to the special school, when it was forced to stop in at a construction site. Someone read the sign to LZ which said “Slow Men Working”. LZ became excited and agitated screaming “I am a Slow Man! I want a job!”. LZ jumped off the bus and began to wander around the construction site where a load of building materials fell on his head. LZ fell to the ground though the accident was not fatal as he had his hockey helmet securely strapped on. Fate was not kind to LZ for as he lie on the ground a steam roller ran him over and forced his innards out his mouth like squeezing a tube of toothpaste. A witness on the scene, a Mr. Grumpy attempted to rush to the aide of the victim, but as he stepped off the curb on to the street, plummeted to his death.