<marquee> I stood long and hard until the light...Rubbing needles in my eyes...eating dirt...I stood up...and everything was all-right!</marquee>
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The New York City Transit Authority has ruled that women can ride the city subways topless. "New York law dictates that if a man can be somewhere without a shirt, a woman gets the same right. The decision came after arrests of women testing the ordinance on the subways. A transit police spokesman said they would comply with the new rule, but "if they were violating any other rules, like sitting on a subway bench topless smoking a cigarette, then we would take action." Smoking is not allowed in the subways."
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
You can teach your pet parrot to speak, but not to squawk.
Albany, you cannot play golf in the streets.
Brooklyn, donkeys are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs.
Carmel, a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.
Greene, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks when a concert is on.