Danger sex - Or, how to make sex no fun

Sean Cold · 07-11-2002, 01:18 PM

Amazing how the one thing in life thats supposed to be great can scare the everloving shit out of you. I got a hummer from my ex and I am not kidding, I broke out in cold sweats. I thought it was going to be the end of my manhood. I had to have sobered up faster than it takes Arpi to get on peoples nerves. As a precaution, I had to hold her hair as an emergency brake. I actually convinced myself that I would be able to know in time to yank her head off before she did the devious deed. I have to stop reading Star Wars books, they could have gotten me in deep shit.

Have any of you people ever gone through shit like this? I have to make sure never to be drunk in the same state as her again.

Ken'sPen · 07-11-2002, 01:21 PM

I understood every word you wrote...
yet the way you sequenced these words left me with a feeling I had no idea what the fuck you were talkings about....

AFDude · 07-11-2002, 01:22 PM

Nevermind, that's a little over the top to post, even here...

Edited By AFDude on July 11 2002 at 09:33

DGW · 07-11-2002, 01:22 PM

Maybe you're gay.

Sean Cold · 07-11-2002, 01:24 PM

Quote:I understood every word you wrote...
yet the way you sequenced these words left me with a feeling I had no idea what the fuck you were talkings about....

Thats because it was with a real woman, unstalked. You have no idea how that would work.

Arthur Dent · 07-11-2002, 01:26 PM

Uhmm...are you saying you were afraid your ex was going to bite your dick off at the exact moment you came? Yeah, that's pretty fucked up. But, where does Star Wars fit into that? I don't think they ever talked about Mara Jade giving Luke Skywalker a blow job.

Ken'sPen · 07-11-2002, 01:27 PM

I just don't understand what you're saying....
there are hummers, and star wars books and holding her hair.
Did you want the hummer but just not want to give her a mouth full...
why did you sober up.
what was happening.
I am just so confused.

Sean Cold · 07-11-2002, 01:28 PM

I thought while in my drunken haze I would get a danger warning to get my dick out of there. Iuse a nerd refrence and have to explain it to a nerd. Man, I am just not having a good run right now.

Ken'sPen · 07-11-2002, 01:30 PM

who is the chick riding you in that pic.....
did you hair brake her before you soiled your pants?

Sean Cold · 07-11-2002, 01:36 PM

I thought the sick, twisted bitch was going to have her revenge on me for dumping her by biting my dick. I held her hair in hopes I could pull her off before she drew blood. I used the lame Star Wars reference because in my drunken stupor, I might have thought I was strong in the Force and had the chance to pull her head off in time which would have been impossible for I could never react in time and because there is no force. Sorry, Dent, there really isn't. The Force is make believe.

Hey Ladi · 07-11-2002, 01:50 PM

So are you still afraid of her? Or was the danger thrilling now that it's over?

Ken'sPen · 07-11-2002, 01:52 PM

Kinda like fucking Ladi,
you never know which of the STDs you dick will come out coated with.

Sean Cold · 07-11-2002, 01:54 PM

Quote:So are you still afraid of her? Or was the danger thrilling now that it's over?

Nope, i still want her to fuckin die. She won't though. This is my purgatory, God's sick joke to pay me back for all my sins.

Hey Ladi · 07-11-2002, 01:54 PM

;-) Better than being boring

Arpikarhu · 07-11-2002, 02:02 PM

i just assumed the star wars reference meant that dent was blowing him. very confusing

Arthur Dent · 07-11-2002, 02:03 PM

Now, if you said your Spidie Sense was tingling, I would have got that.

Quote:I could never react in time and because there is no force. Sorry, Dent, there really isn't. The Force is make believe.

Guess I should give up on trying to lift my car with my mind then, huh. Would make changing tires easier though.

Ken'sPen · 07-11-2002, 02:04 PM

Quote:i just assumed the star wars reference meant that dent was blowing him

well someone did just become a mod.

DGW · 07-11-2002, 02:08 PM

If you even had a little fear of having your schween shortened by her cuspids how the fuck do you even get yer shit up? I don't know about you but the thought of losing my peice would make me shrivel up like a prune.

Sean Cold · 07-11-2002, 02:12 PM

I dunno, I just wasn't thinking at first was the problem. In a Cuverro induced haze, it probally made a whole lot of sense. Just somewhere along the line my mind clicked and I got that feeling I used to get when I was sent to the principal's office after doing something really stupid. I couldn't come for the life of me. Then, she wanted to talk and I wanted to crawl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep.

Keyser Soze · 07-11-2002, 02:13 PM

In the future, have her blow you at knifepoint.