The Official 2005 New York Yankees Thread - Kill all Red Sox and Twins

[GonzoStyle]

we really didnt cause in the end there were so many jokes that none were made, that and really the only joke there was that you're a cocksucking faggot.

[The Jays]

plus, many posters have already laid the theoretical groundwork to back up your position regarding Keyser's cocksuckery and ass poundery

[The Jays]

Boston - Bottom of 9th Score
Mariano Rivera pitching for New York NYY BOS
M Rivera relieved T Gordon. 8 6
J Damon struck out swinging. 8 6
E Renteria struck out swinging. 8 6
D Ortiz struck out swinging. 8 6

[HollywoodJewMoses]

good move keeping in embree. yankees hitters would have a tougher time making contact off of a tee.

[crx girl]

sundays game is at 6. you should all come watch at deweys' because i won't be able to close up til the game's over...


please

[GonzoStyle]

plus, many posters have already laid the theoretical groundwork to back up your position regarding Keyser's cocksuckery and ass poundery

Like when he got all wet and posted trivia tidbits on how the yankees were so far out of 1st that they'd never have a shot to even come close to 1st place.

[HollywoodJewMoses]

wang was good while he lasted.

[Keyser Soze]

plus, many posters have already laid the theoretical groundwork to back up your position regarding Keyser's cocksuckery and ass poundery

Like when he got all wet and posted trivia tidbits on how the yankees were so far out of 1st that they'd never have a shot to even come close to 1st place.

worst first half of the joe torre era.

the yankees will still not win their division, their pitching is a joke.

[The Jays]

plus, many posters have already laid the theoretical groundwork to back up your position regarding Keyser's cocksuckery and ass poundery

Like when he got all wet and posted trivia tidbits on how the yankees were so far out of 1st that they'd never have a shot to even come close to 1st place.

worst first half of the joe torre era.

The 2000 Yankees were 46 -39 at this point during the season.

[HollywoodJewMoses]

redding will lead them to the promised land!

[crx girl]

ok, but you should still all come down and watch the game with me on sunday



seriously, i'm there by myself every week, it's very boring.

[The Jays]

haha, nice work against Al Leiter

[GonzoStyle]

plus, many posters have already laid the theoretical groundwork to back up your position regarding Keyser's cocksuckery and ass poundery

Like when he got all wet and posted trivia tidbits on how the yankees were so far out of 1st that they'd never have a shot to even come close to 1st place.

worst first half of the joe torre era.

the yankees will still not win their division, their pitching is a joke.

Please, the phillies are ahead of your team.

[The Jays]

To sum up the Yankees season thus far…

The haze of the explosive barage that Boston laid upon the New York Yankees in the final four games of their series still hung low along the stadium, as Boston entered the building to begin the defense of their first World Championship in 86 years. The first series represented a haunting prediction for the season to come.

After a solid outing by Johnson, the following game was blown by Rivera, continuing a foul pattern that began in the Boston ALCS, but, the strength of Derek Jeter pulled the win out from the ass of a Yankee team knocked down in disbelief that their postseason ace-in-the-hole could not thread the needle with Boston. If he could not handle Boston, there is no way the Yankees would make it out of the AL East with anything more but a wild card spot.

The next game secured the fear into the hearts of Yankee fans for the remainder of the spring, as Rivera blows the save in a consecutive night, thanks in part to the disapperance of Alex Rodriguez’s defensive abilities.

The Yankees had won the series, but on the worst note possible.

That a single weakness might possibly turn the $208 million dollar men into the biggest bust since the 2004 Los Angeles Lakers. As we attempted to assuage our fears with a expectedly easy series versus Baltimore, we were surprised to find out that Baltimore started working during the winter monthes once again, and had apparently bought a team that can provide some pitch behind Miguel Tejada’s offensive acrobatics, and after a bloody three game combat, Baltimore left town on top of the East, and with the Yanks at .500. What kind of first week of baseball is this shit?

Well, the following week was worse, because this time, they lost both series, one in Boston, where Rivera waves his cap as he is cheered by the Boston fans, and the next series in Baltimore, where the Yanks start a five game streak in which they allow seven runs or more. One of those happens to be a 19-8 thrashing of the Devil Rays.

And it was about at this point where we realized our pitching really sucks, and there isn’t much we can do about it. Meanwhile, the new guys on the field with the Yanks start to wonder to themselves, “How the fuck are we supose to win anything if we have to score 8 runs a night just to compete in the division?”. Tony Womack’s bat goes to sleep before everyone else’s. Tino holds down the fort at first base by hitting 12 home runs in like one week and leads the majors for one day in Home Runs, as Jason Giambi learns to adjust to the steroid chants that are now occuring inside of his own home turf.

Giambi becomes the albatross that everyone blames the Yankee woes on; he continues his abysmal batting, while silently starts to collect one of the highest OBP in the league.

And then Tino stops playing baseball, and decides to start practicing his golf swing at the plate.

And so begins May to June, where the offense becomes reduced to nothing but “Sheffield homers to left. Jeter scores.”, while Cashman begins to dig through his desk to find that post it note that had the names of those three rookies he was supposed to add to his Trade Bait dry erase board

It wasn’t until June 21st that the Yankee season turned around.

After bashin Tampa Bay earlier in the season 19-8, The Yankees kick off the first day of summer by winning 20-11. They then lose four straight; two to Tampa, and two to the Mets, before salvaging the season series with our crosstown rivals by winning the rubber game, and spliting the season series. For much of the first half, the Mets and the Yankees have had very similiar records, with both teams battling to get above .500.

When the Mets left town, something strange was a brewing. Jason Giambi’s OBP percentage was becoming a significant issue in regard to opposing teams; but now, his wrists finally returned, and balls had now become home runs. With Sheff and A-rod working as hard as they can to cleanup Jeter and Cano, Matsui slowly crept back up with RBI production, and it had become the goal of the six batters in the front of the lineup to play two innings of ball in the first. The rookie Cano got on board, and, with mediocre and erratic pitching, the Yankee ship has been righted by 5 batters above .300, and a lineup that, top to bottom, kills every other pitching staff with a smothering OBP.

With a slow return to dominance for Randy and Mike Mussina, the Yanks found that they must strike fear into opposing starting pitching, and get the games back to within at least a chance of Mariano to get some save work in.

And so, thanks to a weak starting pitching, a powerfully strong starting lineup, and a closing staff which includes a man who has converted 24 straight saves, his longest streak in his career; Mariano Rivera.

When Enter Sandman blares on the speakers in the 9th at Yankee Stadium, you can be sure it not’s quite yet because of its nostalgia factor.

The Yankees are in first, Boston is in second, and the Mets are in last.

All is right in the world.



Edited By The Jays on 1121759769

[The Jays]

we signed alan embree?

[HedCold]

we? he's a member of cdih now?

[The Jays]

yeah, I signed with the Yankees early this morning. They're hoping to see if I can produce those blazing numbers I got on the SpeedBall game that one weekend when Brian Cashman stopped to take a piss on some Jersey shore boardwalk. Maybe provide a little middle inning relief.

[The Jays]

holy shit giambi eats balls every minute of the day

[Goatweed]

we have the Angels to thank for today's win.

[The Jays]

Two days in a row, Alan Embree allowed runs. Is this honestly the only way the Red Sox could get him to be productive in some fashion?