Next Best Thing

Gooch · 10-13-2006, 01:53 PM

Next Best Thing Wrote:I am the straw that stirs the drink at the Doors Board, yes. And I don't mean to bore the disinterested folks with this shit, but my fans over there who are also banned at the moment want to know. Some of the shit went on in PMs too, and I didn't get a chance to forward them, as is my custom, before I was zapped. Just bare with me, it won't be that bad and it will be over soon.

Pseudo messageboard rock star for a board the celebrates high school poetry in the guise of a rock star.

how thrilling.

GonzoStyle · 10-13-2006, 01:56 PM

I'm a fuckin star baby, a big bright shining star!!!

Next Best Thing · 10-13-2006, 01:56 PM

2) Hoon, who I do not at the time realize already has no balls, post a G-rated, faggot thread about avatars. Seizing the opportunity, NBT breaks up the ongoing fag-fest by pointing out the sad truth about dawn's kid, ie it is an impossibly ugly little freak and that dawn should be ashamed of herself by offending everybody's delicate sensibilities by actually posting a photo of it without at least warning those with weak stomachs/delicate constitutions first. For those of you who don't know dawn, she doesn't take other peoples feelings into consideration, ever. She's one of these me-first, bored housewife types.

GonzoStyle · 10-13-2006, 01:58 PM

I thought Hoon was edgy and always fighting the man!!! I dont believe your lies.

Goatweed · 10-13-2006, 01:58 PM

ok

Ken'sPen · 10-13-2006, 01:59 PM

GonzoStyle Wrote:I'm a fuckin star baby, a big bright shining star!!!

you don't have to be a star, baby,
to be in my show.

continue NBT, it will save me reading a lot of pages.

Next Best Thing · 10-13-2006, 01:59 PM

3) Everythimg goes fine for a while. The NBT-haters all cower in their little corner of the board, and the NBT fans dominate the thread with clever schtick and shit like this. There are quite a few females over there, which is a plus, I'm fielding PMs from them, flirting, cyber-fucking, and having a generally good time. Hoon is sitting their with his hands folded, boiling in silence, not doing shit about it.

GonzoStyle · 10-13-2006, 02:00 PM

If I wanted to be in your show, i'd go back to being star-child, i'd need to lame myself up.

Goatweed · 10-13-2006, 02:03 PM

GonzoStyle Wrote:If I wanted to be in your show, i'd go back to being star-child, i'd need to lame myself up.

please don't, for the love of God don't do it!!!

Next Best Thing · 10-13-2006, 02:03 PM

4) After about an hour of this (I'm estimating here folks) guess who checks in? Yup, you guessed it! dawn, and boy is she mad. Simultaneously, Aura, dot and a couple of other me-first bitches check in as if in some kind og cosmic coincidence. dawn does her version of going apeshit on the thread ( How dare you insult my beautiful daughter, which is funny because I thought it was a boy-alien) and The Thing deftly side-steps her rage with calm, pointed, sarcastic counter posts. In PM, the crowd cries out for more. It's a rare golden-moment on the fag board.

GonzoStyle · 10-13-2006, 02:04 PM

Goatweed Wrote:
GonzoStyle Wrote:If I wanted to be in your show, i'd go back to being star-child, i'd need to lame myself up.

please don't, for the love of God don't do it!!!

I'll do whatever the fuck I want, you don't own me!!!

GonzoStyle · 10-13-2006, 02:05 PM

I wanna see a pic of this kid.

Next Best Thing · 10-13-2006, 02:06 PM

5) Boy-Hoon can't take the pressure anymore. Rather than sit idly by like a cigar store Indian, which was his posture up to this point, he springs into action. Hoon posts something to the effect that NBT must not have known there was a local rule about undercutting the other member's ugly, fucked up looking kids on threads, because he's new, but it was still a classless thing to do and there will be no more talk of this.

Next Best Thing · 10-13-2006, 02:08 PM

GonzoStyle Wrote:I wanna see a pic of this kid.

I knew you'd warm up to this. I should have captued a picture of the deformed freak, my bad. You live & you learn.

Ken'sPen · 10-13-2006, 02:08 PM

Hoon has become a boring toady,
concerned with keeping his Mod status at the price of humor.

GonzoStyle · 10-13-2006, 02:08 PM

I've never seen an indian, let alone one in a cigar shop.

this bothers me.

Next Best Thing · 10-13-2006, 02:10 PM

6) dawn completely ignores the mandate to stop talking about the ugly little bitch offspring that she regrettably shit out, so NBT is left with no choice but to point out that she's in violation of the rules, and that as a law-abiding board member, he'll have none of it. This was reasonably good shit but it's much better if you actually get to see the interplay, it's difficult to recreate the magic in summary form.

GonzoStyle · 10-13-2006, 02:11 PM

Ken'sPen Wrote:Hoon has become a boring toady,
concerned with keeping his Mod status at the price of humor.

my soul is weeping

GonzoStyle · 10-13-2006, 02:13 PM

Next Best Thing Wrote:
GonzoStyle Wrote:I wanna see a pic of this kid.

I knew you'd warm up to this. I should have captued a picture of the deformed freak, my bad. You live & you learn.

well did she delete the pics? get one of your peons to go over there and copy it.

for a big deal, you sure dont know the game, as soon as you see anything remotely incriminating or source of ridicule you save that bitch asap.

Next Best Thing · 10-13-2006, 02:13 PM

7) PMs are flying, and soon thereafter Hoon, in never before seen bitch fashion, posts an impossibly lame post to the effect of "if any of the other Mods see fit to take any action on this, it's their call". Translation: dawn bitched up a storm to her friend dot who was dissatisfied with Hoon's reaction, so she PM'd him advising him theat she was second-quessing his call as a Mod and undercutting his ineffectual ass. NBT was about to get the axe!!!