Most awesome sensation in the universe

The Jays · 12-07-2006, 01:42 AM

When you get that tickling feeling in your ear, and then you start hearing a rumbling in your head, then some tumbling, and BAM, huge clump of earwax falls out and rests in your outer ear, it's as close to giving birth as a man can ever come to having, except that you feel the exact opposite of the pain. Then you reach in, to see how big it was, and you just stand in awe of yourself, like, wow, my body made that, and it felt so good bringing it into the world. And then just like that, you flick it at an unsuspecting co-worker.

GonzoStyle · 12-07-2006, 01:48 AM

yeah remember when I was talking about this in beths car on the way to the movies?

thief!

Keyser Soze · 12-07-2006, 01:54 AM

the jays earwax must look like softballs

CAUSE HES GOT HUGE EARS!!!! AMIRITE!?!?!?!

The Jays · 12-07-2006, 01:58 AM

GonzoStyle Wrote:yeah remember when I was talking about this in beths car on the way to the movies?

thief!

I don't remember it all all, I tried to ignore your voice after all your disparaging and hurtful Staten Island comments.

GonzoStyle · 12-07-2006, 01:59 AM

yeah and then you stole my whole rant you fuckin hack, even the part about how its as close a man will get to giving birth.

next tell everyone how you used to tape shopping bags outside your apartment window in the projects during christmas.

diceisgod · 12-07-2006, 02:03 AM

Earwax thievery is afoot! Better hold on to your boogers like they was money 'round here. We got The Jays blatantly burgling someone else's intellectual property and we got Keyser Soze going & doing things too I'm sure.

The Jays · 12-07-2006, 02:04 AM

I didn't mean to pull a Dane Cook on you, I honestly forgot your tale, I must have absorbed it via osmosis.

But, really, it is a great feeling.

funsnapsdyno · 12-07-2006, 02:05 AM

when I was a kid, I ate sugar sandwiches

Keyser Soze · 12-07-2006, 02:06 AM

too bad you didnt get hit by a truck too.

Mad · 12-07-2006, 02:10 AM

Was that before the rape or after?

Galt · 12-07-2006, 02:12 AM

If you haven't ever had your ears irrigated, you are missing the best feeling you can have with your clothes on.

The Jays · 12-07-2006, 02:16 AM

I'd get my ears irrigated, but the Nile River is in Egypt, and I haven't got a passport.

The Prodigal Son · 12-07-2006, 02:18 AM

I thought the greatest feeling in the world was having great, unbelievable sex, then turning to the chick and saying "The money's on the dresser."

The Jays · 12-07-2006, 02:21 AM

I believe that feeling is topped by the feeling of not having to pay for sex.

diceisgod · 12-07-2006, 02:22 AM

If you stick q-tips in your ear canal to try and clean them, you run the risk of doing the opposite by packing it full of wax. Best bet is to get one them ear cleaning kits at a drug or food store. It includes special drops and one of them syringe-like water bulbs that you can flush your ear canal out with (irrigation). It does the trick and no more clumpies and also unfortunately, I suppose, no more earwax births.

funsnapsdyno · 12-07-2006, 02:23 AM

lol

The Prodigal Son · 12-07-2006, 02:24 AM

Who said anything about paying for sex?

diceisgod · 12-07-2006, 02:25 AM

galt must want to have sex with you or he pities you, the later being a sign of weakness

Keyser Soze · 12-07-2006, 02:25 AM

imagine having sex and climaxing at the exact moment a piece of glorious earwax ever so gently rolls out of your ear.

i believe that is called nirvana.

diceisgod · 12-07-2006, 02:28 AM

What do you think happens if at first you put the wax clump in your pee hole? Imagine that shit?