Stuff that isn't important enough to have its own thread

[funsnapsdyno]

very lame.

your opinion is infinitesimal!

[Goatweed]

and yet, still better than any of yours.

[Gooch]

Goat's dingleberry > funsnaps

[Keyser Soze]

they both stink

[Goatweed]

but mine smells like roses!!

[funsnapsdyno]

I should have put my "board of hard knocks" post in here

[Goatweed]

not really, no.

[Bloody Anus]

Last night was the first time a long time I had a dream that I actually remembered start to finish. Usually it’s just broken fragments that I remember, which when combined makes no sense whatsoever. Last night’s dream didn’t make much sense either, but at least it was all one continuous story.

It began on the deck of the old house in New York, except there were several additions to it and it was a much bigger, extravagant deck overall. There were about 100 people or so attending Jennifer Love Hewitt’s wedding to some disgusting toothless hillbilly redneck. She was standing on the edge of the deck and the hillbilly and his friends were throwing food at her – I recall there being coleslaw – and calling her a dirty fucking whore until she was in tears.

Then her and I got in a car at the end of the driveway and hovered over the other cars in the driveway to get to the street. With her driving, she dropped me off a few blocks away at the elementary school that I attended. I went in to take some kind of computer test, but instead of being in the school I was suddenly in a big college lecture hall. The tests were handed out and there was just one computer-related question on it; the rest of it had complex accounting and physics questions. So I approached the old lady who handed out the tests, who happened to be that cunty old redhead DMV bitch from License to Drive. After arguing with her for a couple of minutes I pushed her to the ground and ripped the flesh from her face. Then security came after me so I started to run up the stairs. When I turned around, everything was gone. I was now running up the stairs from the auditorium in King Kong, a la Adrian Brody. But nobody was chasing me and I was moving in slow motion. I kept losing random objects and going back down the stairs to retrieve them. Notably my cell phone, mp3 player, sunglasses, flip flops, and alarm clock. Every time I thought I had gathered everything, something else was missing. I started going back downstairs to look for something, but couldn’t move my legs. I looked down and realized I was in quicksand! Except it wasn’t sand at all, it was tar – quicktar! I kept sinking until I fell through the floor. I ended up falling through to the beginning part of the original Metroid – the part where you bomb the floor to get to Kraid’s lair.

The end

[Galt]

I'm pretty sure I swipe my Metrocard faster than anyone in the city of New York, and I never have to reswipe it.

[Galt]

This was my most favorite joke in the world when I was in 5th grade.

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She asks "Santa, will you stay with me?"

Santa says, "Ho Ho Ho I gotta go, gotta go!
I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!"

She takes off her nightgown, and wearing only a bra and panties, she asks "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

Santa says, "Ho Ho Ho I gotta go, gotta go!
I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!"

She takes off everything and asks "Santa, now will you stay with me?"

Santa replies "Hey Hey Hey I gotta stay, gotta stay!
I can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!"

[GonzoStyle]

I was always partial to this one as a kid,

A little black kid was helping it's grandma in the kitchen, spilling some flour on his face he looked up and said, "Look grandma! I'm a white boy now!" His grandma whooped his ass and told him to go tell his mom what he'd said. He goes into the living room and says, "Look momma! I'm a white boy now!" His mom whoops his ass and tells him to go tell his father what he'd told her. He walks outside and says, "Look pappy! I'm a white boy now!" His father whoops his ass and then asks him what he learned. He says, "I've only been white for five minutes and I already hate you fucking niggers!"

[faceman802]

Im so sick and tired of fucking people, the media and the bullshit associated with both. Some cop shoots a black guy in NYC and the media and civil rights people go fucking crazy how they shouldn't have done it, it was racially biased and all that usual bullshit. But some kid in newark gets arrested and pt in a backseat of a cop car, gets his hands around the front and steals the police car. he takes the police on a high speed chase and a cop following flips his car and dies and when they talk to the friends of this guy they say...."he's not a bad guy" and when the reporter points out he has 3 felony convictions already they respond...."well everyone makes mistakes" and the reporter says nothing?????????? WHAT THE FUCK??? Where's the outrage, the protests, a white al sharpton complaining about black kids acting up and killing our cops? I'm so sick and tired of this double-standard bullshit that lets people, who's race were enslaved a couple of hundred years ago, plenty of time to get over things I'm sure, do whatever the fuck they want and say whatever they want and there be no recourse for the rest of us. You got your 40 acres and a mule, what more do you want? I demand a congressional law that allows us, god's chose people, the right to call a spade a spade, or a nigger or whatever we want to without fear of reprisals, chants of racist or any repercussions whatsofucking ever.

[Keyser Soze]

racist

[Galt]

How is the kid in Jersey liable because the cop following him doesn't know how to drive?

[Keyser Soze]

why do cops chase criminals, putting innocent citizens lives at risk?

[The Jays]

Im so sick and tired of fucking people, the media and the bullshit associated with both. Some cop shoots a black guy in NYC and the media and civil rights people go fucking crazy how they shouldn't have done it, it was racially biased and all that usual bullshit. But some kid in newark gets arrested and pt in a backseat of a cop car, gets his hands around the front and steals the police car. he takes the police on a high speed chase and a cop following flips his car and dies and when they talk to the friends of this guy they say...."he's not a bad guy" and when the reporter points out he has 3 felony convictions already they respond...."well everyone makes mistakes" and the reporter says nothing?????????? WHAT THE FUCK??? Where's the outrage, the protests, a white al sharpton complaining about black kids acting up and killing our cops? I'm so sick and tired of this double-standard bullshit that lets people, who's race were enslaved a couple of hundred years ago, plenty of time to get over things I'm sure, do whatever the fuck they want and say whatever they want and there be no recourse for the rest of us. You got your 40 acres and a mule, what more do you want? I demand a congressional law that allows us, god's chose people, the right to call a spade a spade, or a nigger or whatever we want to without fear of reprisals, chants of racist or any repercussions whatsofucking ever.

1) The difference in those two instances is that the man who was shot 50 times by the cops (31 by one officer alone) was doing nothing that might have justified his murder. The man who stole the cop car did, is in police custody, and will probably be charge with manslaughter for putting the officer in jeopardy of his life. There's no need for outrage, because he's going to be punished.

2) Black people are not the problem. Criminals are, and if you watch any World's Wildest Police Chases, you'll see more white people stealing cars and potentially harming people than blacks; there might be black and white, but stupid and criminal are adjectives that go beyond color.

3) The "40 Acres and a Mule" was a military order issued during the Civil War by General Sherman, as a quick remedy for the thousands of black refugees created by his terrorizing March to the Sea, which resulted in slave owners abandoning their plantations and basically creating a human catastrophe. The order only affected people in the coastal areas of South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida. The order also only lasted for several months, when it was revoked by the Commander in Chief, Andrew Johnson. On top of that, the land was returned to its original owners, and the black men were out on their ass. So, no, they did not get their 40 acres and a mule.

[Keyser Soze]

<img src="http://www.tomatoalligator.com/whiteSBB_web.jpg">

[HedCold]

Im so sick and tired of fucking people, the media and the bullshit associated with both. Some cop shoots a black guy in NYC and the media and civil rights people go fucking crazy how they shouldn't have done it, it was racially biased and all that usual bullshit. But some kid in newark gets arrested and pt in a backseat of a cop car, gets his hands around the front and steals the police car. he takes the police on a high speed chase and a cop following flips his car and dies and when they talk to the friends of this guy they say...."he's not a bad guy" and when the reporter points out he has 3 felony convictions already they respond...."well everyone makes mistakes" and the reporter says nothing?????????? WHAT THE FUCK??? Where's the outrage, the protests, a white al sharpton complaining about black kids acting up and killing our cops? I'm so sick and tired of this double-standard bullshit that lets people, who's race were enslaved a couple of hundred years ago, plenty of time to get over things I'm sure, do whatever the fuck they want and say whatever they want and there be no recourse for the rest of us. You got your 40 acres and a mule, what more do you want? I demand a congressional law that allows us, god's chose people, the right to call a spade a spade, or a nigger or whatever we want to without fear of reprisals, chants of racist or any repercussions whatsofucking ever.

1) The difference in those two instances is that the man who was shot 50 times by the cops (31 by one officer alone) was doing nothing that might have justified his murder. The man who stole the cop car did, is in police custody, and will probably be charge with manslaughter for putting the officer in jeopardy of his life. There's no need for outrage, because he's going to be punished.

2) Black people are not the problem. Criminals are, and if you watch any World's Wildest Police Chases, you'll see more white people stealing cars and potentially harming people than blacks; there might be black and white, but stupid and criminal are adjectives that go beyond color.

3) The "40 Acres and a Mule" was a military order issued during the Civil War by General Sherman, as a quick remedy for the thousands of black refugees created by his terrorizing March to the Sea, which resulted in slave owners abandoning their plantations and basically creating a human catastrophe. The order only affected people in the coastal areas of South Carolina, Georgia, and Florida. The order also only lasted for several months, when it was revoked by the Commander in Chief, Andrew Johnson. On top of that, the land was returned to its original owners, and the black men were out on their ass. So, no, they did not get their 40 acres and a mule.

<img src="http://robert.ettinger.com/uploaded_images/The_More_You_Know-775718.jpg">

[GonzoStyle]

Now that Josh has figured out how to form a coherent argument, he will be unstoppable!

[Galt]

the numbered 3-pronged argument is always inpenetrable.