This just in....... - Apparent wild turkey terrorist attack

[OAS]

In an apparent terrorist attack, a wild turkey took deadly aim at a South Plainfield, NJ office complex crashing into a window and killing itself immediately upon impact. The attack happened today at around 2:45 pm EST. The terrorist turkey failed in it’s bid to take any human casualties in it’s suicide flight.

South Plainfield animal control was immediately called to the scene to recover the suicide turkey’s carcass. The turkey suffered a broken beak and neck but caused no damage to the building. The South Plainfield based computer repair depot will suffer a financial loss of $10 to have the turkey carcass removed. OAS, spokesperson for the facility was quoted as saying he thought the $10 charge was ridiculous. OAS was quoted as saying “I got a 25 pound dead frozen turkey free from Shoprite for Thanksgiving. Why do I have to pay $10 to have someone haul away a terrorist turkey?”

The Homeland Security office has just raised it’s turkey terrorist warning to a level orange in anticipation of another attack by wild turkeys or possibly seagulls that are sympathetic to the turkeys cause.



Edited By OAS on Mar. 27 2002 at 3:26

[Sloatsburgh]

[WhipThisFez]

Ha?

[Doc]

Oh, I thought this had to do with alcohol at first.

I should have realized the elderly can't hold their liquor, silly me.

Isn't it your bedtime soon or something

[Hey Ladi]

Oh, I thought this had to do with alcohol at first.

Me too. Thought maybe they were trying to poison it.

saying “I got a 25 pound dead frozen turkey free from Shoprite for Thanksgiving. Why do I have to pay $10 to have someone haul away a terrorist turkey?”

Because you had to pay $200 for groceries, before they would give you the "free" turkey.

[OAS]

No, we are allowed to stay up until afternoon tea is over.

damn Ladi, is that how they get away with it? I thought they liked me :confused:

[barch97]

Has it been 22.3 years yet?

[DGW]

I never liked turkeys.

[NaughtyAngel]

id laugh way too hard if i actually saw that

[Sephiroth]

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lol ?

[OAS]

You had to have been there Seph.

[Skitchr4u]

i thought this had something to do with grumpy...

[IkeaBoy]

In an apparent terrorist attack, a wild turkey took deadly aim at a South Plainfield, NJ office complex crashing into a window and killing itself immediately upon impact. The attack happened today at around 2:45 pm EST. The terrorist turkey failed in it’s bid to take any human casualties in it’s suicide flight.

South Plainfield animal control was immediately called to the scene to recover the suicide turkey’s carcass. The turkey suffered a broken beak and neck but caused no damage to the building. The South Plainfield based computer repair depot will suffer a financial loss of $10 to have the turkey carcass removed. OAS, spokesperson for the facility was quoted as saying he thought the $10 charge was ridiculous. OAS was quoted as saying “I got a 25 pound dead frozen turkey free from Shoprite for Thanksgiving. Why do I have to pay $10 to have someone haul away a terrorist turkey?”

The Homeland Security office has just raised it’s turkey terrorist warning to a level orange in anticipation of another attack by wild turkeys or possibly seagulls that are sympathetic to the turkeys cause.

Gordon Jump, Howard Hesseman--comments?

[The Painter]

Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, George Dickel, Wild Turkey. It's all good