fuckin remakes!!!

[GonzoStyle]

It's getting out of fuckin hand already, look at all the fuckin remakes coming out left and right.

Bad News Bears coming out this month, how can you even begin to come close to the classic original with all the fuckin PC groups now. You can't have an 8 year old say nigger on the screen cause everyone would have a fuckin fit. I have no clue why they wanna bother remaking porky's.

The TV shows, why the fuck do we need a dukes of hazard film? I didnt even know the show was popular. Bewitched, Honeymooners, starsky and hutch, there's an A-Team and Knightrider movie in the works now. But ofcourse they put a spin on it by making the honeymooners into a bunch of canadians. Kinda how they switched up for Guess Who? with Bernie Mac & Ashton Kutcher, which was a remake of Guess who's coming to dinner with Sidney Potier & Spencer Tracy.

But there have been some decent remakes too but it seems like every other movie coming out is a remake lately. But for every 10 remakes of Herbie and Longest yard you do get a movie remake that seems interesting like Charlie & The Chocolate factory. But then you get slapped in the face with someone trying to mess with perfection and you get a Pink Panther remake with Steve "I was never funny except in The Jerk" Martin. Or you get people trying to fuck with classics like Bullitt, you can't fuck with a McQueen movie, it should be a law.

Then you get the influx of comic book movies which are now the studios "boy meets girl" ace in the holes. Blade was great, spider-man was great, x-men was good and none were made on a big scale before. But now you go back to the well with more batman and superman movies and simply erasing any of the previous ones made.

Here's a list of other upcoming movie remakes.

The 39 Steps (hitchcock classic)
All of Me
Angel on My Shoulder
Back to School (with a taste of chocolate, cedric the entertainer will replace Rodney. So Cedric has killed the honeymooners and now this.. next... Benny Hill!!!)
The Bad News Bears
The Birds (another hitchcock classic)
The Blob
Bride of Frankenstein
Casino Royale
Death Race 3000 (the original sucked)
Dukes of Hazzard
Evil Dead (why!!!!)
Fahrenheit 451
Father Knows Best
Flash Gordon
The Flash
The Fly
The Fog
Footloose
The Green Hornet
Hairspray
He-Man (john woo directing, original was horrible so this one may be something to see)
The Hills Have Eyes
The Hitcher
I Dream of Jeannie (oooh more TV shows!!!)
I Love You Again
The Incredible Shrinking Man
Iron Man
It Should Happen to You
It's Alive
Journey to the Center of the Earth
King Kong (peter jackson directing, hopefully worthy)
Land of the Lost
Last Holiday
The Last Unicorn
The Munsters (Directed by the Wayans brothers... great)
Oliver Twist
Pet Sematary (lets make shitty movies out of great stephen king books and then lets make shitty remakes or shitty movies and dilute it even more)
The Phantasm
The Pink Panther (like a stake through my heart)
Porky's (20 bucks says it's PG-13)
The Poseidon Adventure
The Predator
Pride and Prejudice
The Producers
Prom Night
The Psychic
Revenge of the Nerds
The Shaggy Dog
The Six Million Dollar Man
Strangers
Superman Returns
The Swiss Family Robinson
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Terror Train
The Three Stooges (all female stooges)
The Toy
Tron
Vanishing Point
The War of the Worlds
The Warriors (Blasphemy!)
The Wicker Man
Wonder Woman

[Galt]

THE TOY!

[GonzoStyle]

Sid Ganis' shingle Out of the Blue Entertainment is producing a remake of The Toy for Columbia.

TV scribes Bob Burris and Michael Ware are penning the script, and Ganis will produce.

While the redo will draw from the 1982 Richard Pryor film (which itself was adapted from 1976 French pic "Le Jouet"), the film will also take elements from the script "Jack and Jay," a comedy Burris and Ware wrote a few years ago for Out of the Blue.

Ganis says that when he brought that script to Col execs Matt Tolmach and Shannon Gaulding, Tolmach said: "This is 'The Toy.' I want to do it as 'The Toy.' "

"So we're taking the best parts of 'Jack and Jay' and the best parts of the American and French versions of 'The Toy' to create an updated version," Ganis said.

The new film will take out the racial element of the Pryor pic -- comic played a hired plaything for Jackie Gleason's son -- which drew criticism, says Mandy Safavi, who is overseeing the pic along with Alex Siskin for Out of the Blue.

In the remake, the bratty son of a powerful businessman chooses a mailroom clerk as his "toy" to keep him company on his annual visit to see his father.

I forgot to mention the sequel to the awesome hit that was "The Punisher"

Though they are spinning off Wolverine and Magneto for their own movies outside of X-Men, the wolverine movie might be interesting though. The ghost rider movie will blow but i'd be really fascinated to see the silver surfer movie.

oh yeah, did I mention that the 3 stooges film will be an all female cast of stooges, nice spin. I smell a new box office champion, move over Titanic.

[diceisgod]

Death Race 3000 (the original sucked)

Bite your tongue!

Best Stallone line (or movie line) ever.

[Goatweed]

The Munsters (Directed by the Wayans brothers... great)

they should be gutted like pigs for even suggesting this idea, let alone greenlighting it.

[PatCooper]

I think the bad news bears might be ok. Remember Billy Bob Thorton is in this one. And he isn't warm and cuddly. If they make it for adults like Bad Santa was it will be pretty funny.

[Galt]

"The Toy" without the racism is a Pauley Shore movie.

[GonzoStyle]

I think the bad news bears might be ok. Remember Billy Bob Thorton is in this one. And he isn't warm and cuddly. If they make it for adults like Bad Santa was it will be pretty funny.

They have a new character who is in a wheel chair and he plays on the team... sorry I mean "differently abled"

[TheGMANN]

Hollywood is retarded and devoid of all original ideas and thoughs now.

Here's my random thoughts on Gonzo's list:

First of all theres NO FUCKING WAY you can re-make The Bad News Bears in todays fucked up PC society. 2 words why it wont work : TANNER BOYLE. That little fuck practically made that movie and is one of my all time fav movie characters.

A sequel to the Punisher ? I read that also. MARVEL admitted it sucked. They also admitted DAREDEVIL and HULK sucked too. Get ready to see sequels to them too. MARVEL is gonna push out as many comic movies as it possibly can cause they know that geeks like us will go and see it.

Didnt they do a remake of the BLOB with Kevin Dillon in the 80's ? Didn't that suck also ? Didn't they learn ?

YOU CANNOT DO A REMAKE OF THE TOY WITHOUT JACKIE GLEASON AND RICHARD PRYOR. Thats all I have to say about that.

Is anyone really going to see Dukes Of Hazzard? I heard they gave Jessica Simpson ass-implants for the movie.

FLASH GORDON won't be as cool without the QUEEN soundtrack.

FOOTLOOSE won't be as cool without Kevin Bacon

Why are they trying to remake all these classic 80's movies in todays society ? Its ruining all the crude humor we all grew up with and have adapted into our own lives.

Will Bill Gates be in the REVENGE OF THE NERDS remake ? Didn't they make 3 sequels that went nowhere too ?

The PREDATOR ? Why fuck with that movie ?

TRON will be cool.

The Incredible Shrinking Man ? Im surprised they haven't touched the Lily Tomlin classic The Incredible Shrinking Woman. GALAXY GLUE....GALAXY GLUE....LIFE WOULD FALL TO PEICES WITHOUT GALAXY GLUE.

Yeah...I think Im done now.

[Goatweed]

I agree, Flash Gordon needs to be left alone also - that's a fuckin' classic!

[GonzoStyle]

yeah but it was nowhere near the brilliance of Flesh Gordon.

[HedCold]

but xmen 3 is going to have a hooker mutant! how can that possibly go wrong?

[TheGMANN]

And Kelsey Grammer

[drusilla]

All of Me - nothing will replace prahka lasa saying "back in bowl!"

Evil Dead - bruce campbell said that there will be no ash character & they all have a close role in making sure they don't fuck it up because they know the fans will have a shit fit. i still dont understand why at all they would want to do this. raimi must be bored with all his spiderman money.

Footloose - i dont know how they are gonna get around this one. it was a perfect movie for the time it was made. i have no idea how to make it work now.

Hairspray - they are just making a movie version of the musical (which wasn't as good as the original movie)

He-Man - this might be interesting

The Last Unicorn - for some reason this movie really creeped me out as a kid. i'm sure if i watched it now i would wonder what the hell was wrong with me as a child & i would probably find it pretty boring.

The Munsters - just wrong. back to school wrong.

Porky's - so what decade is this one going to take place in?

The Producers - also a movie version of the musical

Revenge of the Nerds - oh gee, is ashton gonna be in this remake too?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - i'm guessing they are trying to milk the series to introduce it to kids today & hope they will go as nuts as they did in the past.

The Toy - just wrong

The Warriors - also time sensitive. the new one is probably going to be very gay





& they wonder why no one is going to the movies anymore.

[Galt]

The warriors remake:
Scene 1: Big fight, Warriors get separated
Scene 2: They pull out their blackberry and call a car service
credits.

[The Jays]

It's like studios are gotten the bug that Lucas had; he wanted to go back and change the first 3 Star Wars because "We have the technology. We can make it better than it was before." Luckily, all he wanted to do was throw in a CGI monster here and there, and beef up some of the sounds.

But these fuckers are just lazy. It's like, if you wanna see a good creative and inventive movie that pushes the envelope, you have to watch indy films now. You can't rely on what the studios force out anymore.

I look at that list, and it boggles my mind that movie producers have seen that same list, and wonder "gee, how come revenues keep dropping?"

This is what happens when studios rely on the star power of overhyped celebrities. They think that "oh, wouldn't it be great if Cedric the Entertainer was Ralph Kramden??"

And, btw, on the topic of Cedric the Entertainer, DOES THE MOTHER FUCKER HAVE A REAL FUCKING NAME??? STOP WITH THIS FAKE ASS WANNA BE PIMP SHIT, AND GET A REAL FUCKING FIRST NAME, AND LAST NAME!


Now, back to remakes. If you're gonna do a remake, remake something that people seriously fucked up on the first go around, you know. Like remake a movie like Troll 2, and this time, make sure that you hire just one actress to play the witch, and kill the kid early in the movie , the one who pisses on the dinner table . And make some sick fucking goblin eat the kid. And call the goblins trolls this time, just for the sake of the title.

[HedCold]

The warriors remake:
Scene 1: Big fight, Warriors get separated
Scene 2: They pull out their blackberry and call a car service
credits.

i'm suprised they haven't used this idea for a commercial for nextel or the sidekick.
i guess its probably because they figure most kids/teens they target wouldn't know what it refers to. maybe after the remake they will

[GonzoStyle]

I'm remaking Menace 2 Society with an all Hassidic Jew cast.

[TheGMANN]

I saw an all Hassidic Jew softball team 2 weeks ago. I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.

[GonzoStyle]

vat did you say about my momma, MESHUGINA!!!