The Wedding Band vs Wedding DJ conundrum

[Gooch]

If anyone doesn't know, I am getting married in July 15th, 2007. Planning a wedding is hard work, though, we've been pretty good about getting all our ducks in a row. The place, caterer, photographer, and such have all been lined up for a while now. The only thing that has been trouble is finding the right band/DJ. I hate the LI kitschy wedding/bar mitzvah band and/or DJ. I'd rather have my testicles fried than subject myself to the Electric Slide and Chicken Dance. I cringe at the thought of a coiffed obnoxious MC trying to get granny on the dance floor, never mind that she's been dead for 3 years.

So, we can't figure out what we want. Luckily, my fiancee feels the same way on the music..but she wouldn't mind a DJ. We've stowed a few good bands mainly b/c they are too large and too expensive. My bright idea of a 20 piece Swing Band just won't fly...too many people for too little of a space. Plus $7000 is just too steep, plus we got to feed the fuckers.

I am curious to anyone else's experience or suggestions on the subject. We are fielding some new people on the band and DJ front. We were at an Expo recently, and completely horrified by both the bands and DJ there who oozed LI with their hair gel.

[Jack]

Just get keyser to do vocals. No music is required. He can just sing.

[Galt]

Bands suck. It's not a concert. You want different types of music. Some oldies some new, some fast, some slow. The point is, you want variety. And every song a band sings sounds exactly the same. Even with two singers like most of them have, there just isn't enough variety.

Just make sure the DJ shuts up and plays music, and you should be fine.

Have a "banned" list and a "mandatory" list for songs, and then you'll be all set.

[Gooch]

Bands suck. It's not a concert. You want different types of music. Some oldies some new, some fast, some slow. The point is, you want variety. And every song a band sings sounds exactly the same. Even with two singers like most of them have, there just isn't enough variety.

Just make sure the DJ shuts up and plays music, and you should be fine.

Have a "banned" list and a "mandatory" list for songs, and then you'll be all set.

Good suggestion...when you put it that way it makes a lot of sense. Thats my fiance's philosophy as well. We are looking at a few NYC DJs who do just that, and actually sell themselves as being the opposite mentality than the party-hardy blend.

[Goatweed]

any good DJ will let YOU tell him what to play, and in most cases if he doesn;t have it you can give him the music. We banned the electric slide, etc. from our 'setlist' and told him not to harass people who werent dancing - just play the music and be fun.

[drusilla]

i remember fighting with my mother & aunt who was our caterer over this for my bat mitzvah. all i wanted was a dj & they felt for the older crowd a band would be better. i always thought bands were so horrible & i think i threw a tantrum, but in the end we just wound up with both. band for half the night, dj for later on in the night. my mom was happy, but the band idea still sucked.

just think about what it would sound like for a bunch of whiteys singing "it's gettin' hot in here". not as good as you would think. i've experienced that at someone's wedding & it was quite embarassing.

[drusilla]

even though i have a friend who is a "dancer" for parties, i wouldn't suggest hiring a dj with dancers. let them save their energy for sweet 16's.

[Gooch]

i remember fighting with my mother & aunt who was our caterer over this for my bat mitzvah. all i wanted was a dj & they felt for the older crowd a band would be better. i always thought bands were so horrible & i think i threw a tantrum, but in the end we just wound up with both. band for half the night, dj for later on in the night. my mom was happy, but the band idea still sucked.

just think about what it would sound like for a bunch of whiteys singing "it's gettin' hot in here". not as good as you would think. i've experienced that at someone's wedding & it was quite embarassing.

trust me...we've seen a few of those already. we are having the wedding at one of those turn-of-the-century mansions (the Vanderbilt to be specific), so trying to not crowd the space and keep to the elegance...not decimate it with Beyonce tunes or Buster Pointdexter.


the only band we have considered is a quintet or quartet of jazz/swing/cajun types....not your regular rock n' roll.


heres a few...

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But a DJ might be what we need, in the end. You are all correct in the advantages...keeping people happy, etc etc. Plus, Galt is dead-on. A cover, in the end, always kind of sucks.

[Galt]

Plus, Galt is dead-on.

Per usual.

[drusilla]

it just sucks cause when you have a dj, sometimes you might be looked upon as being cheap. but those people who may be thinking that can shove it cause they aren't really your friends then. the music is always better with a dj. unless you do go for one of those jazz bands or soemthing out of the ordinary which is a nice idea. but if you need to conserve space, a dj is the way to go.

[funsnapsdyno]

A friend of mine got married and her husband preferred a live band.. everyone complained how they wished it were a DJ. But his "generation" only had bands at weddings according to him. He was only 10 years older but he acted like he was 80 marrying a 29 year old.

[GonzoStyle]

Kareoke!

[Arpikarhu]

a dj always seems to say , "we were too cheap to get a band".

[Mad]

Weddings are such a rip off, the money would be better spent towards a down payment on a house.

Thumbs up for the jazz quartet.

[GonzoStyle]

get one of those jazzy niggers, right arpi?!?!?!

[virgingrrl]

like galt said, explaine to the dj's
exactly what you want played and exactly what
you do not want played.

most of them have lists available for you
to choose the "plays" and "no-plays" from.

also tell the dj's not to take requests.
my cousin did that for her wedding, when people
requested shit like the chicken dance, the dj's were instructed to say "ok, we'll get to that later",
then obviously never play it.

smart.

[Black Lazerus]

why am i the only one imagining the separate table, full of board people that gooch has to awkwardly explain to her family.
"who those guys, they are my friends from the internet"
congrats man and thanks again for the help the other day.

[faceman802]

Here's the thing gooch, who gives a damn what anybody else thinks. It's the bride and groom's day, it should be whatever you want it to be, not what the guests want. If one or 2 guests grumble, so be it, let them have what they want at their own wedding. everything, where it takes place, what is served, the events of the evening should be you and your fiancee's decision since it is your big day. You don't want to look back 5 or 10 years later and say, 'you know what, we should have done it this way or that way instead of worrying about whatever'. It's not like a birthday that comes every year and it can be done better and better each time, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity here and it should be done to make you and your fiancee happy

[Goatweed]

the only band you should consider using would be The Nerds, I've been to a wedding that they did & it was amazing - however, it was far from a typical wedding and the crowd, overall, was much younger. The wife & I looked into booking them at in 2001 they wanted around $5500, so I would think they'd want more now.

Otherwise, a DJ will suit you well.

[Jack]

To be serious, here is what a buddy of mine did at his wedding. Of course, it also helps to know/be related to the person who manages the place that you are renting the room from.

Basically, this place already had its own sound system. So he and his wife to be, chose their own music and put it on their ipod. The set up a playlist to play the songs in the order that they chose, and hooked the ipod up to the sound system.

They bypassed having to pay anybody to do the music and they made sure that only the music that they wanted played, got played.

Was it the cheap way to go? Sure.. but in the end, they weren't bitter because the DJ played something that ruined the mood.