SPAMMING is mostly Nigerian Nigger Nonsense...Now, it's Art

[diceisgod]

Remember these people? Well I spammed them and I still haven't got feedback and that's probably to be expected since it's very early. Well whatever... as just hitting send on these emails felt good. I intend to use the WORST methods, make them seem respectable & awesome, and make my self rich at the same time.

Whatever happens, I will have a ball. So we begin...

SPAM GonzoStyle:

ate:
Subject: Add me, Promote me.... or don't...
Body:
...but if you DO & when I'm finally rich & famous I'll get you all the nigger broads you desire.

-DIG

SPAM Silera:

Subject: Whore...
Body:
...please add me. Promote me even - ie share/forward invite to anyone like maybe the 1-2 people (not counting Alkey and your kids) that actually like you and will casually consort with you and give credence to your recomendations & opinions (in other words cocktease them or tell them outright you'll fuck them if they subscribe/add me or whatever it is they do here on myspace). Or...

...do nothing and forget it & hit delete. However, if you DO do these things above & once I'm rich & famous, I will make you a necklace made of the teeth of every guy who ever missed/waslate/ortotallyneglected allomony checks & child support:

One tooth per guy per each infraction. If you're Catholic, I can probably make a rosary beed necklace thing but different.

-DIG

SPAM hollywoodfreddiemitchell or whoever:

Subject: hollywoodfreddiemichell
Body:
Howdy,

I think that was you in the subject line above on CDIH. If not you, you might be amused if you read on if not confused or you can just delete this and get on with your devil worshipping or whatever it is jews do when nobody's looking, prick. Anyway, I found you to be quite a smart ass that contributed very little on CDIH other than lazy & smart-assed critisisms & commentary throughout your messageboard "career" in fact.

That aside and my personal dislike for jews and you especially, I believe you liked to boast about your winning lottery ticket existence in the form of a bright and successful father. So I challenge you if this is all correct:

Demonstrate you are you father's son and are worth more than the condom he should have bought instead. Sub to my page and pass along to other jews within your evil empire that have brains, balls, and power to get me paid.

Or don't and get back to your (very likely) cocaine & legal issues and the whirlwind ride on the coat-tails of your blood-bound betters. I'm sure they're very proud.

Reagrds,
DIG

[diceisgod]

To an "imposter" or someone I share a remarkable coincidence with:

SPAM diceisgod:

Subject: You know me?
Body:
You're not me but if you know me: Add me.

Even promote me...and also pretend & convince yourself that I promised you something wonderful in repayment for my (eventual) fame & riches & bitches.

Or don't and forget this ever happened and nevermind and sorry for the hassle.

Regards,
The REAL diceisgod (AKA: DIG)

[diceisgod]

SPAM lush

Subject: XXXXX is a pretty name
Body:
BULLSHIT. A fucking million people are probably called that and all within a 5 mile radius of you. Your bland & boring name aside, I think you are known as lush and you fuck The Jays. If so, sub my page and my blog and tell your cunt friends & side lays to too.

If not, then sub me anyway and know that your BF looks like this asshole I know from a couple messageboards. I hope your guy isn't such an effeminent wuss or at least has a big cock & a lot of money.

Regards,
DIG

PS> I think you won the dead pool. Send your addy if you want your prize and me to stalk you - Just kidding as you are not Andie Valentino but I will send you the prize.

[diceisgod]

SPAM Jim Norton:

Subject: Do YOU really read this myspace shit? Do you like porn
& mma?

Body:
If so, please subscribe to my page then. I like you. You're no Dice, Carlin, Hicks, Kaufman...but you're respectable & pretty funny. In fact, you're HBO special was very very good. Anyway, who cares and...

Please read my stuff on my page (fyi, I just got started but more will be on the way soon), send me a friend invite thing, & then visit occasionally & share with or invite any big wig hotshot types you know. I want a writing gig. I want money. No shit, right? Help me out if you can and want to.

But overall as I said you are 'OK' but I think you can maybe "smarten up" the act a bit. Hicks was a Z-level celeb too and probably made the same kind of dough you are...BUT look at what he did. Genius, no-holds-barred, jaw-shattering. Of course, be yourself but what I mean is talk about soemthing relevant, important, non-trivial. I recommend you educate yourself if necessary. Read Chomsky, listen to him, watch his vids. He's a genius and he can give you fuel for the funny-fires. Alos Google "Democracy NOW!" Independent media is the only true media. Amy Goodman is the one and only chick I admire that doesn't do porn (actually JK Rowling is ok too).

That's all and I hope you can help me out and enjoy my writing.

Regards & Happy New Year
DIG

[Goatweed]

where's my spam?

[diceisgod]

Just send me the invite, handsome. No games.

[Goatweed]

I have to invite you to spam me?

[diceisgod]

I always wondered how a schmuck like you got a chick with such beautiful tits. Then I saw your myspace pic. You're all oatmeal above the eyebrows but you are dashing.

[Goatweed]

I always wondered how a schmuck like you got a chick with such beautiful tits. Then I saw your myspace pic. You're all oatmeal above the eyebrows but you are dashing.

then you obviously know I need not invite you.

[diceisgod]

Well whatever...if you want to be on what will soon be "the biggest thing on myspace ever's" f-list...fire it off and you're there.

Otherwise, I'd like to invite you to go fuck yourself.

[Goatweed]

I never need an invite to do that! :thumbsup:

[diceisgod]

SPAM Ninny

I think you were that Ninny cunt? No?

I think so maybe. As you were pretty much consistently cunty toward me I think. But to your credit you also shut your mouth toward the end after realizing what's what.

If so, send me one of them friend thingies. Read my shit and share with any offline and online friends you might have. And after you call your mom and she subs me, maybe send a mass email out here and elsewhere.

Or don't, eat bonbons, and cry some more, tubby. But if this a case of mistaken identity on my end, sub me still and let me troll your pics and see if you are worth looking at below the Adam's apple. Thanks.

Regards,
DIG

[diceisgod]

Speaking of Nigerians, SPAMMING is again demonstrated to be a two way street on MySpace...below is my reply to an uninvited invite to join some delusional negro's TERRIBLE & self-aggrandizing bullshit blog. I'll learn him the TRUE meaning of "Makiavelian" as I reply to him, decline, & even critique some his shoddy work like his brief bio & unfortnate quotes & "words of wisdom" - as quoted by the most absurd people on the planet. Just...incredible.

Sir,

Your notions of "Machiavellian" sound more "Confucian" thasn anything else. So I will take this style below and expound a bit in this "respectful" respeonse & decline of your invite to your blog (I could have just deleted it).

But first I would like to counter the invite and say you are welcomed to join my blog. If you do and over time add to it in meaningful, interesting, and "non-bullshit" ways, I will eventually subscribe to your blog...So back to Confucius and your own potential confusions:


DIGfucious say:

-Being homeless and living in London, does not an International man make.

-He who consorts with middle eastern archaeologists....is not Indiana Jones.

-He who catagorizes a Tom Jones quote (a overrated lounge singer and pussy hound) as "Writing & POETRY" is INSANE.

-One who has such insane and delusional opinions of themselves and their written word (and Tom Jones), will NEVER...EVER....win me as a subscriber & reader (I'll read the ingredients on a cereal box first).

Best Regards,
DIG

[Cam Neely]

What type of return are you expecting with this lil campaign?

[diceisgod]

The same as always from the start: An overflowing cerebral vault of perverse & joyful cognitive pleasure and amusement.

And One Billion Dollars.

[Cam Neely]

I dont think you can legitimately call it SPAM though. Writing individual letters for each seems more like a personal plea. Either way, good luck with it.

[diceisgod]

I've already had one person call it "creepY".

SPAM or no....I call it "delicious".

[diceisgod]

SPAM Dana White (cc: T. Gerbasi & marketing@)

Subject: Sherdog.com > UFC.com...Your site is relative DOGSHIT...ie SHERDOG-shit ...I sell pooper scoopers

Mr. White,

If this reaches you, please let me help you. I know you have "bigger fish to fry" BUT a quality & entertaining & insightful website is one of the key pieces of the puzzle regarding making the fucking UFC bigger than fucking US Steel.

Please read all my other bullshit below (I've SPAMMED you before...sorry dude but you know how it is....). Please like it. Please give a guy a break. Please give the "right" people the proper "nudge" to contact me and make shit happen. Please and have a Happy New Year.

Lastly, you guys fucking rule and will only get much bigger. UFC is king. BUT WITH ME....you can fucking conquer and subjugate the fucking world...and burn Sherdog down to it's foundations if you so desire.

Best Regards,
DIG


Right below here is an email I sent today through UFC.com's webform to the "Webmaster". Below that are old emails that I send you in previous SPAM attempts.Thanks for any time you spend contemplating this. You might not like me, but I'm the type of person "THE BEST" want and need on their team. Please let me on the team. - DIG

Please read my blog. Hire me to write for your site (or give me a "trial run"):

<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.myspace.com/digrules">http://www.myspace.com/digrules</a><!-- m -->

It is scarce now with respect to the UFC (and everything in fact since it's new) but it will grow and it will be awesome.

It's also "no holds barred" but I'm no fool as I can tone shit down & be "family" friendly but also still keep the venom, the brilliance, and the "put-asses-in-the -seats" qualities that also put the Benjamins in the savings account.

With all due respect, though "professional" your site here is WEAK and full of banners and FLUFF.... VERY weak. You need an edge and some spice.

As Gerbasi (and whoever else frequently write3s article for this site....they're all the same to me really) is good, a "pro", and does what NEEDS to be done....This ain't gonna help you as Sherdog completely makes this site look nearly as unprofessional as some asswipe's...my...space...blog...Well nevermind that bullshit....

Read my blog, get in touch, let's set it up, let me loose, and this site might have a chance of ever being taken seriously in the MMA news /insider world. UFC is going to friggin detonate as it doesn't take Nostrodamus to friggin foresee that. I won't impress anyone with my prophecies BUT I want to help your site be ready and not be as...well.....lame and scarce and...basically just shit awful.

Make it happen and let's kick butt!

Regards,
DIG

[diceisgod]

SPAM Mark Cuban: (My old buddy! Playing both sides...)

Subject: MMA: I can help you compete w/ the UFC. How? Please read and consider this email seriously.

Mr. Cuban,

I've been in touch before but who cares (just below is a forward that has our past brief and insignficant email volley). Though I disapprove of your MMA ventures and the potential they have to fuck things up (I think MMA is better as a "monopoly" like the NFL, NBA, etc), I am nonetheless a practical & "buyable" man as the UFC is thus far foolishly apathetic and unresponsive.

I reach out again to basically SPAM you & pitch to you and while I'm at it, demonstrate just exactly how deep my convictions run per my "disapproval" of your potentially & disasterously damaging moves in the "now getting on track" MMA business world.

So as I mentioned, FUCK MMA and if you destroy it...AWESOME. I even want to help you...that is, I want to help your future organization be a SUCCESS. How? I write and none other on this planet can say they are more entertaining and better. I am an amatuer and I have ZERO professional experience. But Einstein was a patent clerk so what's the fuckin' difference?

There is much to sift through below in the form of our old email volley BUT also my emails to the UFC's marketing dept, Dana White, & their (mediocre, dull) headwriter on UFC.com (Gerbasi or Salami or whoever and who friggin cares...). The bottomline is I want to write for your (future?) MMA website. I will help you make waves and if need be, I can help you punish the UFC severely if only to satisfy my own sense of vengence due to their apathy & snubbery of me, my SPAM, and my ideas.

Thank you and Happy New Year,
DIG

[diceisgod]

SPAM Jim Norton...Again (I will not be ignored, you fucking hack loser)

Subject: Vos and Anthony Cumia are mutual friends...just a quick hello

Body:
Yeah that subject line was total bullshit since you didn't even read my last SPAM message, cunt. Anyway it's forwarded below and I would look forward to your apathy after you at least read it or at least click on it to make me believe you read it, bigshot (ie MySpace says either: "Sent" or "Read" or "replied" etc next to one's internal myspace messages...bigshot).

Anyways Happy New Year & best of luck w/ the funnyman career AND maybe getting back on the air in Philly. That might be a good move, ya know. Wtf is wrong with you guys? 4th-5th largest market in the country and no air time for O&A in Philly? Smarten the fuck up the people that make these things happen and NO I ain't buying XM...FUCK XM...it sucks & satellite radio in general is a fucking joke. (PS I got a lot of them "joke" things...Need a writer? I'll make you RELEVANTLY & "real" famous...)

Regards,
DIG