How to get out of jury duty

[diceisgod]

Your Honor, is there some place I can go smoke after I masturbate?

[Galt]

One guy on my jury duty said that he hated lawyers and the entire legal system. That it was all corrupt and meant to put innocent people in jail.

The judge called him on his bullshit asking for examples or further detail. The guy apparently had prepared only that speech assuming that as soon as he said it, they'd rush him out of there. But that wasn't the case.

Instead of adding additional points to his stance, he just started getting more animated about it. He was really dedicated to the story. There was a good back and forth between a calm judge and a shrieking juror.

After a while, the judge got sick of him and just told him to get out.

[diceisgod]

I was sitting next to this huge & chubby stockbroker guy who gave me a discourse on the differences between bull and bear trading...he was all about bear trading. And though I still don't understand it he did tell me that he believes whole-heartedly that oil will be over $200 a barrel in about a year.

Also he actually wanted to be selected because he "loved the legal system". So I wasn't sure if this man was to be taken seriously or not but he sincerely seemed to think he knew what he was talking about, was somewhat interesting, and made my time go by faster.

In reality. I got out of it by telling the judge I just started a new job and had cc bills out the ass. Luckily she was cool and dismissed me as having a "hardship"...I went back to the herd of other people waiting to be assigned and we were all sent home shortly thereafter....around noon or so. It wasn't so bad but if I was selected I would have to come back in two days and be a part of some trial about some crazy gook girl who stabbed some people.

[Galt]

I didn't get selected for my lone time on jury duty. I'd love to. I would get paid for work, while not having to do anything and I'd get paid for Jury duty.

It would be great.

[diceisgod]

Post the complete officer directory of your company including name, title, direct office line, and their assistants' names.

[diceisgod]

....Then quit and go work for McGraw-Hill until you receive further instructions.

[Galt]

I'm an officer.

What do you want?

[diceisgod]

Your budget

[Galt]

the budget is allocated already.

But I could so easily get you a list of all the executives' titles and numbers. Pay me $20,000 and it's yours.

[diceisgod]

Bah Pittsburgh's out of my territory anyway.

[funsnapsdyno]

Ironically, I work for lawyers but never got called for jury duty.

[Galt]

Pittsburgh? Please. New York. That's where the company is located. Not some shithole steel town.