Is that a pulitzer....... - That i smell

Ken'sPen · 07-18-2002, 02:54 PM

Dear Grumpy,

My name is giddyup_girl45 and I have a question:

I swear to mother fucking god that If I don't get laid in the next 2 days I am going to commit suicide...what should I do? See I have a b-friend but I am in love with his 9 year old younger bro. What the fuck should I do? Go for him or just pull it off on my b-friend?

Dear GiddyUp,

First off, I'd like to suggest you buy a copy of Hooked on Phonics. It took several attempts and 2 bottles of tequila for me to understand what your question was. From what I gather, your maggot infected love flaps are yearning for a meat missile and if you don't shove a 2x4 up your hole soon, it'll get infected and you'll die. To add to your problem, your boyfriend's dick doesn't work anymore so you want to rip it off of him and then molest his 9 year old little brother. Did I get that right? If that IS the case, you have more issues than I can help you with. My suggestion is a Glock 9 with hollow point bullets just below your chin.

Grumpy

So Sean, when will we get a spin off site so we can showcase some of the talent we have here..........

Ken'sPen · 07-18-2002, 02:57 PM

I am thinking LZ's week in review is a lock.

Keyser Soze · 07-18-2002, 02:58 PM

Even Further Over The Limit?

LZMF1 · 07-18-2002, 02:59 PM

isn't that cute?

ken can't keep thoughts of me out of his head.

Sean Cold · 07-18-2002, 02:59 PM

Quote:I am thinking LZ's week in review is a lock

Wouldn't that be ripping off spaz?

EEEEk!!!!!

Oh, wait, thats right, we can say that here. Whew, that was a close one.

OAS · 07-18-2002, 03:25 PM

Some potential features for a CDIH spinoff sight....

Brotha Could You Spare a Dime hosted by Kid Afrika. A financial advice column by Kid to help the brothers out between robberies.

Lonely Evenings hosted by Ken's Pen. Don't have a life? Need something to do? Nobody will talk to you? Why not ask the expert?

The White Trash Diaries hosted by Ladi. Want to keep on the latest trash going on in a mobile home park near you? Need to know who's fucking whose sister? Did you recently come into some new fresh roadkill and need some quick easy recipies to fit into your busy day of watching Springer reruns?

The Fuckoff Chronicals hosted by Sean Cold. Feeling a slight sense of compassion for someone in your life? Feeling the need to help someone less fortunate? If you are affraid that you might care for someone and you want nothing to do with that, just drop Sean a line and he will help you steer clear of that whole "we all need to get along" complex.

Ken'sPen · 07-18-2002, 03:25 PM

I'm thinking our "Get me Laid" section would consist of getting Ladi an appointment calendar and gas money.

Sean Cold · 07-18-2002, 03:28 PM

I always wanted to do a Suicide help line type thing. I do believe I am more than qualified to take on such a task. Think of all the help I can dish out?

Doc · 07-18-2002, 03:29 PM

What, you guys don't like Ask CryBa...I mean, Ask Clumpy?

I'd be all up for OAS's Haiku Corner or SoupSoup's Def Poetry Jamboree

Sean Cold · 07-18-2002, 03:34 PM

Quote:What, you guys don't like Ask CryBa...I mean, Ask Clumpy?

Holy christ on a stick, Doc made me laugh. This may not be the first but it is rather close.

OAS · 07-18-2002, 03:35 PM

Quote:I always wanted to do a Suicide help line type thing. I do believe I am more than qualified to take on such a task. Think of all the help I can dish out?

One would have to admit your instructions couldn't me missinterpreted. How could one confuse "go ahead and jump motherfucker" or "pull the gah damn trigger asshole"? :rofl:

Sean Cold · 07-18-2002, 03:40 PM

Quote:From what I gather, your maggot infected love flaps are yearning for a meat missile and if you don't shove a 2x4 up your hole soon, it'll get infected and you'll die. To add to your problem, your boyfriend's dick doesn't work anymore so you want to rip it off of him and then molest his 9 year old little brother. Did I get that right?

Speaking of funny, can someone please take the time and energy to explain how this comment is funny?

I mean, sure,. for the short bus it fits, but, I don't see how this is cutting edge material. How Over The Limit is it when most of us have been on STM, may it rest in peace. All that looks like to me is a cut and paste job from most of Grumps love letters to Ladi and Luna. For shame, Grumps, for shame.

Ken'sPen · 07-18-2002, 03:48 PM

I was going to post a Katylina editorial.....
but it was too painful,
never has someone taken so much space, used so many words, to say nothing.

Sean Cold · 07-18-2002, 03:52 PM

Quote:LZMF1

THREAD KILLER!!!!!!

Group: Members
Posts: 2106
Joined: Jan. 2002

I beg to differ young man.

PollyannaFlower46 · 07-18-2002, 04:24 PM

Wait, you mean people actually go to that site?

LZMF1 · 07-18-2002, 04:28 PM

Quote:Ken'sPen

At the very least I am funnier than maynard.

Group: Members
Posts: 4207
Joined: Jan. 2002

here's another shining example!

Ken'sPen · 07-18-2002, 04:36 PM

Good one LZ....
I know you are but what am I
I know you are but what am I
I know you are but what am I?????
[Image: peewee.jpg]

PollyannaFlower46 · 07-18-2002, 04:37 PM

PEE WEE!!

What's the word of the day?

LZMF1 · 07-18-2002, 04:38 PM

<span style='font-size:97pt;line-height:100%'>SAD</span>

ken try a new gimmick, your current ones aren't working

Ken'sPen · 07-18-2002, 04:44 PM

The word of the day is Retard.
[Image: conky.jpg]

you know what to do when anyone says the word of the day.