The quotable charles barkley - One funny brother

[Sean Cold]

This is just a few quotes from former NBA star Charles Barkley from last month's Stuff magazine. This guy is just a quote machine.

On retirement:

I'm just what America needs....another unemployed blackman.

on women in sports:

I don't like any women sportscasters. I don't like women doing sports-it just bothers me. I have no reason it's just because they are women.

on Chicago Bulls gm Jerry Krause:

He must have pictures of his boss' wife having sex with a monkey for him to still have a job.

On broadcast partner Kenny Smith and how Kenny likes MJ:

It must be the crack of Micheal's ass where Kenny's lips are firmly planted.

On Vince Carter:

He played like a girl all last year, TV made him a superstar. Now he has to play like one and quit whining.

On Tonya Harding calling herself the C. Barkley of skating:

My intial response was to sue her for defamation of character, but then I realized that I have no character.

On Broadcast partner Peter Vecsey calling him fat on air:

I told him I am gaining wieght and I could always lose it but he will always be ugly. I am not goping to jump him on TV because there'll be witnesses. If I beat him up, it's going to be in a dark alley somewhere.

[Maynard]

I love this man!

[Hybrid]

fucking hilarious. :lol:

[fbd]

angry black unitelligent guys=always funny

[DGW]

"Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck."
Don Schula.

"Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
Jim Murray.

“If women were meant to play football, God would have put their tits somewhere else."
Gordon Sinclair.

"It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf."
Henry Aaron.

"Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night."
Peter Ustinov.

"If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you."
Paul Newman.

"They called it golf because all the other four letter words were taken."
Walter Hagen.

"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
Mario Andretti.

[FNMoron]

fbdlingfrg Posted on Feb. 18 2002,1:44
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
angry black unitelligent guys=always funny

ahh... Mr. Barkley.... he is one funny fucker...But I would never call him unitelligent... He just doesn't give a fuck...

a few more fantastic quotes from Sir Charles...

On free agency:

"I can be bought. If they paid me enough, I'd work for the Klan."

On Hatred:

"I don't hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime."

On Golf:

"I play ghetto golf -- I talk the whole time."

To Billy Crystal, the only 'famous' Clippers fan:

"How did you not become a Laker fan like all the other phony celebrities?"

Regarding Dan Issels fine when calling a heckling fan a Mexican:

"I don't think he (Issel) should have been fined or suspended. Some fans just need to be beaten down!"

[Arpikarhu]

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough."
Mario Andretti.

this also applies to cunnilingus

[The Sleeper]

Those quotes are hilarious. Another great quotable sports figure is the late former Tampa Bay Bucs coach John McKay. My favorite sports quote of all-time is the first one by him:


When a reporter asked what he thought of the Buccaneer’s execution following a loss-- "I think it's a good idea."

One the early years at Tampa Bay-- "Every time I look up, it seems we're punting."

"We didn't tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking."

On 41 year old kicker, Jan Stenerud-- "He may be the only kicker to kick and collect social security at the same time."

"Kickers are like horse manure. They're all over the place."

On this significance of experience-- "If you have everyone back from a team that lost 10 games, experience isn't too important."

"If a contest had 97 prizes, the 98th would be a trip to Green Bay."

"Statistics and records are baseball talk. They keep records like most times sliding into second base on a Tuesday."

"The only problem with doing the impossible is that everybody expects you to duplicate the impossible."

[Snoteater]

After paying basketball with Randell Cunningham

He threw up enough bricks to build a small community.

[Francine Banger]

on women in sports:

I don't like any women sportscasters. I don't like women doing sports-it just bothers me. I have no reason it's just because they are women.

I agree. Unless its Lisa Guerrero on the Best damn Sports Show Period.



Edited By Francine Banger on Feb. 19 2002 at 02:17

[The Sleeper]

I agree. Unless its Lisa Guerrero on the Best damn Sports Show Period.

No love for Melissa Stark?

[Francine Banger]

No love for Melissa Stark?

Id rather hear Eric Dickerson mumble through a sideline report.

[Keyser Soze]

Someone call and invite Charles to post here. Fuck, he's retired, he aint got shit to do anyhow.