Mens Rules - Printable Version

Mens Rules - Printable Version

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Mens Rules - Kingpin - 09-27-2003

I received this email and I wanted to share it with all you guys.

FINALLY MEN'S RULES ! ! !

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are
all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.

1.. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just
say it!

1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the
hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine. Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this on
to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!

Mens Rules - Hawt Baux - 09-27-2003

So what is the #1 rule?

Mens Rules - Toronto Hottie - 09-27-2003

I spent a half an hour responding to these points.

Quote:

blah blah.

Then my dialup kicked out.

This is my response now.

:fire:

Mens Rules - Flock of Moosen - 09-27-2003

Quote:Originally posted by Toronto Hottie
I spent a half an hour responding to these points.
Quote:
blah blah.

Then my dialup kicked out.

This is my response now.

:fire:

Mens Rules - HydratedPeach - 09-27-2003

Quote:Peach, for example, is a fruit

Fuck, my secret is out. :kiss:

Mens Rules - diceisgod - 09-27-2003

Being a woman is so easy. All you have to do is suck dick and do what you're told and you get everything handed to you for the rest of your life.

Mens Rules - diceisgod - 09-27-2003

....unless of course you're a big fat slob or have the face of a troll and no tits. In that case my dog has a better life.

Mens Rules - RapeFantasizer - 09-27-2003

I thought this was pretty funny, I get so angry with girls that do the things mentu=ioned in there.

Mens Rules - dru - 09-27-2003

Quote:Originally posted by diceisgod
Being a woman is so easy. All you have to do is suck dick and do what you're told and you get everything handed to you for the rest of your life.

that is so true

Mens Rules - TheGameHHH - 09-27-2003

i just laughed my ass off, those are some great rules