Lucky for you two I'm just too damn nice (and damn tired) to flex mod muscles right now.
For Alkey, the results (bear in mind I didn't watch it, just getting the results second hand):
Team Angle beat Los Guerreros
Sean O'Haire over Rikishi; Piper gets a coconut to the head.
Kane & RVD beat the Dudleys; special ref Morley got knocked out, and a second ref counted the pin.
Jazz scores a pin with her feet on the ropes to win the women's belt from Trish Stratus.
Big Show over Rey Rey: Rey gets stretchered from the ring, but Show attacks him and swings him into the ring post while he's still attached to the stretcher.
Brock retains against Cena.
Team Trips beats Team HBK. Once again the fucking sledgehammer comes into play as Trips smashes Nash.
Goldberg beats Rock after Rocky carries him through 15 minutes of hell. Crowd reportedly turns against Goldberg when they realize he sucks as much as (if not more than) Scott Steiner.
And backstage drama throughout the evening: Test forces a kiss on Torrie, Sable tells Stacy, and an all-out catfight involving most of the divas ensues. Afterwards, Scott Steiner comforts Stacy, pissing off Test.