Sarcasm will not get you laid....

[Grumpy]

okay, I had to put this somewhere, so I thought I would put it here.

About 2 weeks ago, I go out and buy my wife a new leather coat. I thought it was nice, had a new style look to it. It's black, thigh length, snug around the hips and flares out a little around the hips. I bring it home and give it to my wife. No particular reason, I just felt like buying her the coat when I saw it.

Well, she tries it on and she has this weird look on her face. Followed by a "well.....I'm not sure if I like it. It makes my ass look fat".

Now, let me preface this by saying that :
a. My wife is a size 3-4 and doesn't have anything anywhere near a fat ass.....
b. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a very sarcastic sense of humour. She knew it when she married me and honestly, says that it's part of the reason why she married me......

Well, after her comment, I blurt out...."it's not the coat"....BBBBBZZZZZZZZ.....wrong answer dumbass. Try again! I get an evil look from her that would make any man crumble in fear. I try to blow the comment off, and tell her about how long it took for me to find it and how I had the sales girl help me by trying it on. I then tell her that the sales girl would love it herself if someone bought it for her, followed by my comment of "well, buy me dinner first, then we'll see.....". This didn't go over very well either.

Long story short, I'm not in the shithouse for being a sarcastic wiseass......It's bad enough I don't get any as it is, now my chances are even slimmer. When the fuck am I gonna learn to keep my big fat trap shut.

[header]

Did you take the jacket back and get your refund? Or has she since started to wear it?

[AngelIllegalImmigrantHater]

i would have chuckled and given you a hummer, big bro





so where is my coat?

[Grumpy]

header - I took the jacket back. Why the hell should I waste that kind of money on something she'll never wear.

Amy - Luy ya.....but there's something really wrong (yet curiously hot) about you offering me a hummer. By the way - what size are ya?

[header]

Originally posted by Grumpy
header - I took the jacket back. Why the hell should I waste that kind of money on something she'll never wear.

Good. I am looking for a jacket for my wife for christmas. This consists of us being in stores and her trying on things. It's not spontaneous or a surprise or anything but what the hell I'm on a budget here.

[60FeetUnderWater]

So, let me get this straight, You try and do something nice (make ONE bad joke/comment) and you still get thrown in the dog house?

ain't that some shit.


fuckin females...can never appreciate shit. It's never good enough, is it? She should have known you were joking.

BAH! :mad:

[AngelIllegalImmigrantHater]

meh dont generalize...we're not all like that.

when i mean we i mean ME. i hate to be grouped in with most of these bitches as the same gender.

and grumps, i dunno i keep losing and gaining weight so i guess ill have to :GASP: try some on to see what is a better fit. we should stop at Victoria's Secret while we're at it.

[header]

I guess I'm lucky. While my wife can be difficult at times (I wonder how long before she logs on and reads that) she wouldn't do something like this. She'd be more ticked at me for spending money on an expensive jacket. Then we'd take it back and get a cheaper one.

So no we shouldn't group bitches and cool chicks together into this big group that is evil women.

[Ronin]

that sucks.. i don't think there is any way to recover from that first comment.. and believe me, i make those sarcastic comments too sometimes... but i usually recover after words with something..

but with that comment, i don't think there is anyway to recover.. sorry Grumpy. maybe take her out to dinner or something.. maybe a foot massage.. that always works well..

maybe the ladies can suggest something to help you recover.. Ladies??

[Sloats]

I have told my wife, regardless of the situation, the I will always answer Do I/Does my ** look fat? with "YES and I will always answer with that so don't ask it again."