Is it ever ok to cheat?

[60FeetUnderWater]

Originally posted by The Brain
Perhaps the best way for any person to avoid this is to let their significant other know that they would prefer to be able to maintain healthy physical and emotional relationships with other people (or hell, that they just want to be able to sleep around).

before clueing in your significant other of such a "need", I'd be prepared to possibly lose that significant other for good.

All I know is this:

If my woman came home and threw a line of crap like "I would prefer to see/fuck other people but still be w/ you" and it's after we established that we'd be commited to only eachother...

I'd say "ah nah nah" and send her ass on her way.

[ODB]
dat's my word, B...

[The Brain]

All I know is this:

If my woman came home and threw a line of crap like \"I would prefer to see/fuck other people but still be w/ you\" and <b>it's after we established that we'd be commited to only each other</b>...

Excellent point, but the question is, why do we choose to commit to a single individual? Why have we allowed society to dictate the idea that monogamy is the only way to conduct our relationships?

Mind you, this the same idea that sets the double standard where a guy can "sow his oats" with as many women as possible outside of matrimony, but a woman who does so is deemed a slut or whore. One second we say we should have healthy attitudes about our sex and sexuality, and the next second we return to our Puritanical roots where sex is sin.

THINK, DON'T CHEAT!!

The basic question being asked is, "Is it OK to cheat?". No, it ain't, because it's deceptive to any one else you're sleeping with. If you're honest with everyone you wish to have a sexual relationship with, I believe that is an entirely different thing altogether.

[60FeetUnderWater]

Excellent point, but the question is, why do we choose to commit to a single individual?

(wickedly buzzed, don't mind me...)

I think it goes with our human instinct in regards to how we all want to feel loved and all that stuff. Instinct to raise/procreate - it's almost a matter of logic, backed/supported by emotion. Love feels good, finding a mate feels good, being a proud parent of the school valedictorian feels good...being able to call someone or feel that they are your "soulmate" and start a family with that person feels good.

Why have we allowed society to dictate the idea that monogamy is the only way to conduct our relationships?

we'll continue to strive for this type of relationship models until we reach a new, higher understanding:

(I know I'm buzzed but, I'm serious here, I'm a believer)

The higher societies, extraterrestially speaking, are probably androgenous.

Like racism, gender divides us...if we were to continue to evolve socially, we would eventually hit a point where women were truely EQUAL in ability of the physical man and man would be honed in to the certain psychological nuances (advantages) that women possess over men.

Mind you, this the same idea that sets the double standard where a guy can \"sow his oats\" with as many women as possible outside of matrimony, but a woman who does so is deemed a slut or whore. One second we say we should have healthy attitudes about our sex and sexuality, and the next second we return to our Puritanical roots where sex is sin.

"we" don't make that decision...only those who enslave themselves to the dogma/propaganda.

ECH. don't get me going on religion and how I feel it stifles our ability to achieve maximum potential of ourselves, our species.

The basic question being asked is, \"Is it OK to cheat?\". No, it ain't, because it's deceptive to any one else you're sleeping with. If you're honest with everyone you wish to have a sexual relationship with, I believe that is an entirely different thing altogether.

I agree; great point there but you don't have to be sleeping with someone to be cheating on them. Otherwise, I'm witcha.

[The Brain]

Like racism, gender divides us...if we were to continue to evolve socially, we would eventually hit a point where women were truely EQUAL in ability of the physical man and man would be honed in to the certain psychological nuances (advantages) that women possess over men. (maturing at a younger age, \"maternal instincts\", etc...)

Here is where I disagreed with you most. Gender evolution is <i>not</i> divisive like racism. A black woman is capable of the same life experiences as a white woman, or an Asian woman, or Hispanic, etc. Racism is an ideal formed from (misguided) logic. Evolution is simply nature's way of determining what roles organisms will play in the continuation of their species.

Males of our species are built to: hunt, fight, procreate, die (pretty much in that order). It is why we are larger, more physically durable, tend to be considerably more reckless and have shorter lifespans.

Nearly every other animal society reflects the fact that the males and females have distinct roles to play. Granted, in some societies, males and females share child-rearing. But the only ones I can name offhand in which a <i>single pair</i> consisting of a male and female raise their offspring are birds (and then, only certain species). Even among our fellow primates, offspring are raised together in a community of the females-- males have no "fatherly" role aside from occasional play.

If you can name any other species of societal animal (meaning they tend to travel/live in packs or communities) in which a male and female "pair off" into a couple from which neither mate strays, you win teh cookie. I swear, the only ones I can think of are humans and certain species of solitary birds, and that's it-- and even then, cross humans off that list because occasionally, we do stray.

[opak]

Well...what if YOU were the one cheated on? Is it ok for revenge purposes? Is it still considered cheating at that point?

Nope never cheated on anyone...GF or ex-wife...

[MYLF]

Originally posted by tinymike
People cheat on their significant others because they are missing something in the relationship, whether it be physical, emotional, psychological, financial or otherwise, including their freedom. They seek what they don't have from someone who may be able to provide it for them.

Think about it, why would you go with someone else if you're boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband is giving you everything you need?

Is it okay to cheat? I have a better question for you. . . . Who are we to judge?

I totally agree that people cheat because they are missing something, but at the same time, shouldn't they address those issues and/or call it quits with the person they're with?

[MYLF]

EDIT - something is screwed up with my post. I quoted Brain, and that showed up, but I couldn't make my response show up.
What's up with that?

Anyway....
I totally disagree. If things are pretty damn good, you might look, but I don't think you'd actually be tempted to cheat.

[RapeFantasizer]

People cheat on their significant others because they are missing something in the relationship, whether it be physical, emotional, psychological, financial or otherwise, including their freedom. They seek what they don't have from someone who may be able to provide it for them.

I'm sorry, but I find it hard to believe that every single one of you has never had sex for the sole purpose of fucking. There doesn't need to be a reason behind it other than you want to fuck right then and there. None of you have ever been to a point that you were so fucking horny you didn't think about it, you just fucked? C'mon people, I've met quite a few of you and I know that can't be the case.

[tinymike]

Rape - what you doing later today? :grin2:

all kidding aside, being horney is not grounds for cheating. Throw your partner down and fuck him right then and there. (something tells me with a name like yours, you'd appreciate the irony of that statement)


I also agree with MYLF that it SHOULD be addressed before actions are taken. And in reality, if action IS needed (like cheating) then maybe you shouldn't be in that relationship.

(and for the record....this is actually turning out to be a very intellectually stimulating dialog. It's not something I would have expected from this group. Bravo....)

[Crack Hitler]

Rape - what you doing later today?

i know whats she's doing.... shes working it for money