Man severs own penis; eats peanuts on Canal

[The Jays]

It provides an easy escape from the relationship, and requires them to do all the work in breaking up with me.

They get to call me up, and be all like "Um, we need to talk. "

I put on my worried tone of voice.

"Why? What's the matter?"

"Well, I think we should be, you know, like friends, like ,, you know, friends."

"Well, we are friends. Cept we have sex on a regular basis."

"Well, I just want to be , you know, friends."

"Oh. Okay, cool."

"Can I have your condoms?"