Lyrics and nothing else... no reason for posting the lyrics, no theme to the lyrics, no sense, no nothing... just lyrics

[PSYCHOMARKFAN]

"ASSHOLE" by Denis Leary



Folks, i'd like to sing a song about the american dream. About me, about you about that special feeling in the cockles of our hearts maybe in the left cockle maybe in the sub-cockle area, maybe in the liver maybe in the kidneys maybe even in the colon....we don't know

Well, i'm just a regular joe with a regular job. I'm your average white suburbanite slob, i like football and porno and books about war. I got an average house with a nice hardwood floor, my wife, my job, my kids and my car. I got my feet on my table and a cuban cigar....

Well, somtimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh,no) NO WAY(uh huh)
Well, i gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
(oh yeah) YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH
I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane while people behind me are going insane
I'M AN ASSHOLE yodeo,yodeo, yodeo
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'M AN ASSHOLE yodeo, yodeo, yodeo
(he's an asshole, such an asshole)

I use public toilets and i piss on the seats, i walk around in the summertime saying"How about this heat?"
I'M AN ASSHOLE yodeo, yodeo, yodeo
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'M AN ASSHOLE yodeo, yodeo, yodeo
(he's the world's biggest asshole)

Sometimes i park in handicapped spaces, while handicapped people make handicapped faces
I'M AN ASSHOLE yodeo, yodeo, yodeo
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'M AN ASSHOLE yododo, yododo, yododo
(he's a real FUCKING asshole)

Maybe i shouldn't be singing this song
ranting and raving and carrying on,
maybe they're right when they tell me i'm wrong.....NAH, i'm an asshole yodeo, yodeo, yodeo
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'M AN ASSHOLE yododo, yododo, yododo
(such an asshole, he's the world's biggest asshole)

You know what i want to do, i want to get me a big cadillac convertible. HOT FUCKING PINK, WITH WHALE SKIN HUBCAPS AND BIG BABY SEAL EYES FOR HEADLIGHTS, YEAH! AND I WANT TO DRIVE AROUND IN THAT BABY, DOING A 100 MILES PER HOUR GETTING ONE MILE PER GALLON SUCKING DOWN QUARTER-POUNDER CHEESEBURGERS FROM McDONALD'S IN ONE OF THOSE NON-BIODEGRADABLE STYROFOAM CONTAINERS AND WHEN I'M DONE SUCKING DOWN THOSE GREASEBALL BURGERS, I WANT TO WIPE MY MOUTH WITH THE AMERICAN FLAG AND TOSS THOSE CONTAINERS RIGHT OUT THE SIDE AND THERE AIN'T A GODDAMNED THING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT, YOU KNOW WHY BECAUSE WE GOT THE BOMBS, THAT'S RIGHT TWO WORDS "NUCLEAR FUCKING WEAPONS" O.K.? RUSSIA, CHINA, ROMANIA THEY CAN HAVE ALL THE DEMOCRACY THEY WANT. THEY CAN A DEMOCRACY CAKE WALK DOWN THE MIDDLE OF TIANAMMON SQUARE AND IT WON'T MAKE A LICK OF DIFFERENCE BECAUSE WE GOT THE BOMBS O.K.?
JOHN WAYNE'S NOT DEAD, HE'S FROZEN
WE'RE GONNA THAW OUT THE DUKE AND HE'S GONNA BE PRETTY PISSED OFF, YOU KNOW WHY? YOU EVER TAKEN A COLD SHOWER ? WELL, MULTIPLY THAT BY 15 MILLION TIMES THAT'S HOW PISSED OFF THE DUKE'S GONNA BE, I'M GONNA GET THE DUKE, SAM PECKINPAH, JOHN CASSAVETTES(hey)(hey, hey, HEY)AND GET A CASE OF WHISKEY AND DRIVE DOWN TO TEXAS AND...(you know you really are an asshole?)
Why don't you shut up and sing the song, pal?
I'M AN ASSHOLE, yodeo, yodeo, yodeo
(he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'M AN ASSHOLE
(he's the world's biggest asshole)
A-S-S-H-O-L-E, everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E
harrrumph, arrf, arrrf ,arrrf, arrf, arrrf, arrf
booom,ch-ch-chboom,ch-chboom, chboom boom
Ooooooooooooooh, I'm an asshole and i'm proud of it