Sarcasm will not get you laid....

[Grumpy]

okay, I had to put this somewhere, so I thought I would put it here.

About 2 weeks ago, I go out and buy my wife a new leather coat. I thought it was nice, had a new style look to it. It's black, thigh length, snug around the hips and flares out a little around the hips. I bring it home and give it to my wife. No particular reason, I just felt like buying her the coat when I saw it.

Well, she tries it on and she has this weird look on her face. Followed by a "well.....I'm not sure if I like it. It makes my ass look fat".

Now, let me preface this by saying that :
a. My wife is a size 3-4 and doesn't have anything anywhere near a fat ass.....
b. Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a very sarcastic sense of humour. She knew it when she married me and honestly, says that it's part of the reason why she married me......

Well, after her comment, I blurt out...."it's not the coat"....BBBBBZZZZZZZZ.....wrong answer dumbass. Try again! I get an evil look from her that would make any man crumble in fear. I try to blow the comment off, and tell her about how long it took for me to find it and how I had the sales girl help me by trying it on. I then tell her that the sales girl would love it herself if someone bought it for her, followed by my comment of "well, buy me dinner first, then we'll see.....". This didn't go over very well either.

Long story short, I'm not in the shithouse for being a sarcastic wiseass......It's bad enough I don't get any as it is, now my chances are even slimmer. When the fuck am I gonna learn to keep my big fat trap shut.