The Royal Tenenbaums

[Black Lazerus]

Originally posted by Lush
Are we going to go through the whole movie?

INSERT:
A first edition copy of The Royal Tenenbaums.
On the dust jacket there is an illustration of a creamcolored
note card that looks like a wedding invitation. The
title of the book is engraved on the card.
The next page says “Chapter One.”
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Royal Tenenbaum bought the house on
Archer Avenue in the winter of his
thirty-fifth year.
CUT TO:
A five-story limestone townhouse. A forty-three-year-old man
in a raincoat rings the front doorbell. He is Royal.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Over the next decade, he and his wife
had three children and then they
separated.
INT. DINING ROOM. DAY.
Royal sits at the head of a long table. He is surrounded by
his children.
Chas is twelve, with curly hair, dressed in a black suit and
tie. Margot is ten, with a barrette in her hair, wearing a
knitted LaCoste dress and penny loafers. Richie is eight,
with long hair, parted on the side, dressed in a Bjorn Borgstyle
tennis outfit with a headband.
Chas wears a blank expression, Margot looks as if she is
about to cry, and Richie has tears all over his face.
MARGOT
Are you getting divorced?
ROYAL
(gently)
At the moment, no. But it doesn’t look
good.
RICHIE
Do you still love us?
ROYAL
Of course, I do.
CHAS
(pointedly)
Do you still love Mom?
(CONTINUED)
ROYAL
Very much. But she asked me to leave,
and I had to respect her position on the
matter.
MARGOT
Was it our fault?
ROYAL
(long pause)
No. Obviously, we had to make certain
sacrifices as a result of having
children, but no. Lord, no.
RICHIE
Why’d she ask you to leave?
ROYAL
(sadly)
I don’t really know any more. Maybe I
wasn’t as true to her as I could’ve
been.
CHAS
Well, she says --
ROYAL
Let’s not rehash it, Chassie.
An Indian man with salt-and-pepper hair, dressed in pink
pants, a white shirt and a white apron, comes in from the
kitchen with a Martini on a tray. He is Pagoda.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
They were never legally divorced.
Pagoda hands Royal the Martini.
ROYAL
Thanks, Pagoda.
INT. HALLWAY. DAY.
A gallery of the children’s art, done mostly in crayon, but
with beautiful frames and careful lighting. The subject
matter includes: spaceships, wild animals, sailboats,
motorcycles, and war scenes with tanks and paratroopers.
A stuffed and mounted boar’s head with its teeth bared hangs
in the stairwell. A label on it says “Wild Javelina, Andes
Mountains.” Under the stairs there is a telephone room the
size of a closet. Old messages are tacked to the walls, and
the children’s heights are marked on the door frame.
A thirty-three-year-old woman with a scarf around her neck
and sunglasses on top of her head talks on a rotary
telephone. She is Etheline.
2.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
Richie sits on her lap reading an Atlas of the World. Margot
sits on a foot-stool reading The Cherry Orchard. Chas stands
in the doorway with a slip of blue paper in his hand.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Etheline Tenenbaum kept the house and
raised the children, and their education
was her highest priority.
Etheline says into the telephone:
ETHELINE
I’ll hold, thank you.
CHAS
I need $187.
ETHELINE
(pause)
Write yourself a check.
Chas hands Etheline the slip of blue paper.
INSERT:
A cheque made out in the amount of $187. Etheline signs it.
CUT TO:
Chas taking back the cheque. Etheline says into the
telephone:
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
Bene. Si. Grazie mille.
Etheline hangs up. There is a schedule of activities --
guitar, ballet, yoga, scuba-diving -- written on a chalkboard
behind her and divided into columns labelled Chas, Richie and
Margot. She changes an Italian lesson from 4:30 to 5:30.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
She wrote a book on the subject.
INSERT:
A copy of Etheline Tenenbaum’s book, Family of Geniuses. On
the dust jacket there is a photograph of the three children
conducting a press conference in a room crowded with
journalists. It appears to have been published in the late
seventies.
CUT TO:
The press conference. Chas points to a reporter.
CHAS
The gentleman in the blue cardigan,
please.
3.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
REPORTER
Thank you. I have a two-part question.
CHAS
Go ahead.
INT. CHAS’ BEDROOM. DAY.
Chas’ room looks like a businessman’s office, except it is
very small and has bunk beds. There is a desk with an Apple
II computer and an electric coffee pot on it. There is a
water cooler in the corner, with a paper cup dispenser.
Chas stands talking on the telephone while Etheline brings in
his lunch on a tray.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Chas Tenenbaum had, since elementary
school, taken most of his meals in his
room, standing up at his desk with a cup
of coffee, to save time.
On a shelf in an alcove there are ten cages connected
together by plastic tubes. White mice with tiny black spots
all over them race around outside the cages. Chas feeds one
of them a drop of blue liquid from a test tube.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
In the sixth grade, he went into
business, breeding dalmation mice, which
he sold to a pet shop in Little Tokyo.
There are twenty-five pinstriped suits in boys’ size twelve
and an electric tie rack hanging in the closet. Chas pushes
a button on the tie rack and the ties glide along a track.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
He started buying real estate in his
early teens and seemed to have an almost
preternatural understanding of
international finance.
There are a small weightlifting bench and punchbag in the
corner. There is a set of exercise charts neatly drawn with
felt-tip pen tacked on the wall. Chas bench-presses about
fifty pounds on a small barbell.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
He negotiated the purchase of his
father’s summer house on Eagle’s Island.
EXT. BACKYARD. DAY.
A house in the country. Chas crouches in the bushes with a
BB gun. Across the lawn, he sees two younger boys with BB
guns drop down from a tree.
4.
CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED)
One of the boys is Richie, and the other has nearly-white
blond hair. He is Eli. He wears Apache warpaint.
Chas gets Richie in his sights.
ROYAL
Hold it, Chassie.
Chas freezes. He looks up and sees Royal watching from the
roof with a BB gun trained on him. Royal is dressed in khaki
pants, sunglasses and no shirt.
CHAS
What are you doing? You’re on my team!
ROYAL
(hesitates)
There are no teams.
Royal fires. Chas screams and fires back as Royal scrambles
away, laughing.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The BB was still lodged between two
knuckles in Chas’ left hand.
INT. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. DAY.
The walls of Margot’s room are red, with little running
zebras painted all over them. There is a collection of
African masks hanging in the corner. Margot sits at a small
metal stand, typing on an IBM typewriter.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Margot Tenenbaum was adopted at the age
of two. Her father had always noted
this when introducing her.
CUT TO:
A cocktail party. Royal introduces Margot to a group of
elderly men in black tie.
ROYAL
This is my adopted daughter, Margot
Tenenbaum.
Margot nods politely.
CUT TO:
A wall filled with bookshelves. There are thousands of books
of plays. Margot takes out a copy of The Iceman Cometh.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
She was a playwright and won a Braverman
Grant of fifty-thousand dollars in the
ninth grade.
5.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
There is a mock-up of a stage set for a play that appears to
have taken place in a network of tree houses on a tropical
island. Margot places a tiny canoe beneath a palm tree.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
She and her brother Richie ran away from
home one winter and camped out in the
African Wing of the Public Archives.
EXT. MUSEUM. DAY.
Richie and Margot sit on a bench in front of a large Gothic
building. Richie has on a small backpack with a sleeping bag
attached to it. Margot carries a small red suitcase. They
both look extremely dishevelled and tired.
A single-file line of students in Catholic school uniforms
goes past them following a museum guide. Eli is at the end
of the line. He stops and stares at Margot and Richie.
RICHIE
Hi, Eli.
ELI
You said I could run away, too.
MARGOT
No, I didn’t. And don’t tell anybody
you saw us.
CUT TO:
Richie and Margot sharing a Boy Scout sleeping bag on a bench
in a gallery of wildlife dioramas in a darkened museum.
Margot reads a book about sharks by the light of a
flashlight. Richie is asleep.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Four years later, she disappeared alone
for almost two weeks and came back with
half a finger missing.
INSERT:
A pair of knitted gloves. One finger has been clipped off at
the middle knuckle and is being sewn up.
INT. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. DAY.
Richie’s room is in the attic. There are a chemistry set, a
drum set and a long shelf filled with tennis trophies.
Richie sits on the edge of his bed.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Richie Tenenbaum had been a champion
tennis player since the third grade.
6.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
There are thousands of Matchbox cars arranged on every
available inch of space on tables, desks and window sills.
Richie parks a little Maserati next to a dune buggy.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
He turned pro at seventeen and won the
U.S. Nationals three years in a row.
There is a ham radio set in the corner of the room. Richie
sits at the console wearing a set of headphones. There is a
map of the world on the wall, with colored pins stuck in
different cities.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
He kept a studio in the corner of the
ballroom but had failed to develop as a
painter.
CUT TO:
A ballroom with vaulted ceilings and a giant chandelier on
the top floor of the house. One corner is filled with
seventeen almost identical portraits of Margot looking over
the top of a book with an irritated expression. Etheline
helps Richie hang a new portrait among the others.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
On weekends, Royal took him on outings
around the city.
EXT. STREET. DAY.
Royal and Richie stand among a group of Puerto Rican men as
two large, vicious-looking pit bulls with scars all over them
snarl at each other. Royal yells along with the others:
ROYAL
Vamanos! Andale!
Royal throws a fifty-dollar bill into a pile of money on the
sidewalk. Richie throws in a dollar.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
These invitations were never extended to
anyone else.
CUT TO:
The second floor of the Tenenbaum house. Chas sits alone in
one window. Margot sits alone in the next. They both watch
as Royal and Richie get out of a gypsy cab in front of the
house, sharing a bag of peanuts and laughing.
There is a slightly run-down thirty-five-story apartment
building across the street. Eli sits alone in a window.
7.
CONTINUED:
INT. APARTMENT. DAY.
A two-room apartment with a crucifix on the wall. Eli
finishes making his bed and folds it into the couch. An
elderly woman works at a sewing machine in the next room.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Richie’s best friend Eli Cash lived with
his aunt in a building across the
street.
EXT. STREET. DAY.
Eli walks up the front steps of the Tenenbaum house and rings
the doorbell. He wears a set of house keys on a string
around his neck. Pagoda opens the door. He is dressed in
pajamas, slippers and a bathrobe. He lets Eli inside.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
He was a regular fixture at family
gatherings, holidays, mornings before
school and most afternoons.
CUT TO:
The Tenenbaum house at night. There are strings of colored
lights glowing around the front door and white paper bags
with candles in them on the steps. Royal rings the front
doorbell. He carries a small package wrapped in red-and-pinkstriped
paper with a white ribbon on it.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
The three Tenenbaum children performed
Margot’s first play on the night of her
eleventh birthday.
INT. BALLROOM. NIGHT.
There are twenty eleven-year-olds wearing party hats.
Margot, Chas and Richie are in costumes. Margot is a zebra,
Chas is a bear and Richie is a leopard. Eli is dressed in
pajamas. Royal sits at a table with them, drinking a glass
of whiskey.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
They had agreed to invite their father
to the party.
There is a small stage-set across the room for a play that
appears to have taken place on a ship.
CHAS
What’d you think, Dad?
ROYAL
It didn’t seem believable to me.
8.
(CONTINUED)
Chas looks at Margot. She is silent. Royal says to Eli:
ROYAL (CONT’D)
Why are you wearing pajamas? Do you
live here?
RICHIE
He has permission to sleep over.
Royal shakes his head.
CHAS
Did you think the characters were --
ROYAL
What characters? It was just a bunch of
little kids dressed in animal costumes.
MARGOT
Goodnight, everyone.
Margot quickly collects her unopened presents from the table.
She puts Royal’s aside and sets it in front of him.
ROYAL
Sweetie. Don’t get mad. That’s just
one man’s opinion.
The lights go down. Royal looks across the room. Etheline
stands in the doorway with a birthday cake on a tray. The
candles are lit. She looks furious. Pagoda stands at the
light switch. Everyone begins to sing “Happy Birthday.”
Margot walks out of the room, and the singing disintegrates.
NARRATOR
He had not been invited to any of their
parties since.
Etheline blows out the candles.
EXT. ROOF. DAY.
There is a large antenna for Richie’s ham radio and a wooden
coop with a falcon in it. The falcon has a hood over its
eyes. Richie opens the coop, carefully removes the falcon’s
hood, and feeds him some sardines from a tin.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
In fact, virtually all memory of the
brilliance of the young Tenenbaums had
been erased by two decades of betrayal,
failure and disaster.
Richie carries the falcon on his arm to the edge of the roof.
RICHIE
Go, Mordecai.
9.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
The falcon spreads its wings and lunges into the sky.
MONTAGE:
(The names of each of our characters and the names of the
actors playing them appear over the following shots.)
Royal Tenenbaum sits in a chair in his hotel suite with no
shirt on and a towel wrapped around his face. A woman in a
white apron lifts off the towel, and Royal looks in the
mirror. He is now sixty-six, with grey hair, white at the
temples, worn very long in the back. He is getting a facial,
and there are strips of blue cellophane covering his face.
The woman quickly peels them away and begins to massage his
temples. Royal lights a cigarette at the end of a three-inch
holder.
Etheline Tenenbaum draws eyeliner around her eyes in the
dressing mirror. She is fifty-five and has long, black hair
with one silver streak that runs through it. She wears a
pink slip and a gold locket. The wall behind her is filled
with portraits of tribesmen and native warriors from around
the world. She holds up a pair of prescription sunglasses
and looks at herself. She lowers them and does her lipstick.
Chas Tenenbaum shaves in the locker room of a boxing gym.
Steam fills the air. He is thirty-six and in top fighting
condition. Ari and Uzi Tenenbaum are on either side of him.
They are eight and ten. They are also shaving, but with no
blades in their razors. All three have extremely curly black
hair.
Margot Tenenbaum is at a hairdresser’s with three people
working on her at once. She is thirty-four. Her hair is
being dyed, and there are little clamps and bits of foil
twisted into it. She is smoking a cigarette, and she blows a
puff of smoke as the hair dryer is lowered onto her head.
She holds an open copy of a book of plays by George Bernard
Shaw. She has one fake finger made of wood.
Eli Cash is in the fitting room of a clothing store having a
white buckskin jacket with fringe taken in. A tailor pulls
at the hem of the jacket and sticks pins in the sleeves. The
tailor’s helper brings Eli a cup of tea and some cucumber
sandwiches. Eli picks out a sandwich. A second helper hands
him a short-brimmed Stetson cowboy hat. He puts it on at an
angle and stares at himself.
Releigh St. Clair brushes his teeth with an electric
toothbrush in a very small, white-tiled bathroom. He has a
full, gray beard and round glasses, and he is dressed in red
silk pajamas with white piping. He stops suddenly, picks up
a tape recorder off the edge of the sink, and excitedly
dictates something into it. He puts the tape recorder back
on the sink and starts brushing his teeth again.
10.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
Henry Sherman stands in front of a mirrored wall in a
vestibule of his building. He is a tall black man, fifty-six
years old, with grey hair and a moustache. He wears a doublebreasted
navy blazer. He carefully folds a checkered
handkerchief and tucks it into his breast pocket. There is a
hand-lettered sign regarding trash and recycling taped to the
wall behind him, underneath a row of mailboxes. It is signed
H. Sherman, the Landlord, in red ink.
Richie Tenenbaum looks at himself in the mirror in his
stateroom on board an ocean liner. He is thirty-two, with
long hair, parted on the side, and a beard. He wears a khaki
suit, a striped tennis shirt, a headband, and penny loafers.
The ocean goes by at a fast clip in the porthole behind him.
A towel on the dresser says The Cote d’Ivoire in red
stitching. He takes out a little camera. He points it at
his reflection, smiles sadly, and takes a picture of himself.
He puts the camera back into his pocket and goes out the
door.
INSERT:
Page 22 of The Royal Tenenbaums. It says “Chapter Two.”
INT. HOTEL ROOM. DAY.
Royal’s suite at the Lindbergh Palace Hotel. There are
shelves full of law books and hundreds of spy novels in
stacks on the floor. There is a set of Encyclopedia
Britannica, an exercise bicycle and a Xerox machine.
Royal lies on his stomach on a massage table getting a
massage from a young Asian woman. The manager of the hotel
stands in front of Royal with a piece of paper in his hand.
MANAGER
I’ve been instructed to refuse any
further charges on your room account and
to direct you in writing to please
vacate the premises by the end of the
month.
The manager hands Royal the piece of paper. Royal points to
the masseuse.
ROYAL
What about Sing-Sang? I owe her a
hundred.
The manager looks to the masseuse.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Royal had lived in the Lindbergh Palace
Hotel for twenty-two years.
INSERT:
11.
CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED)
A letter typed on Lindbergh Palace Hotel stationary. It
begins:
Dear Mr. Tenenbaum,
In light of your continuing failure to remit any form of
payment, we have no --
CUT TO:
The masseuse. She does not appear to understand English.
MANAGER
Can you pay her in cash?
Royal shakes his head. The manager hesitates.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
He was a prominent litigator until the
mid-eighties, when he was disbarred and
briefly imprisoned.
CUT TO:
Royal standing in the window looking out at the falling snow
as Sing-Sang folds up the massage table behind him. He
lights a cigarette.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
No one in his family had spoken to him
in three years.
INT. RADIO ROOM. DAY.
The radio room on board the Cote d’Ivoire. There are
computer terminals, short-wave radios, maps on the walls, and
a crew of technicians in white uniforms. There is a mist
outside the window, and an oil tanker in the distance.
The radio operator finishes typing a message into a keyboard
and looks up to Richie.
RICHIE
Read it back to me so far, Pietro.
RADIO OPERATOR
Dear Eli, I’m in the middle of the
ocean. I haven’t left my room in four
days. I’ve never been more lonely in my
life, and I think I’m in love with
Margot.
The radio operator looks to Richie. Richie nods.
RICHIE
New paragraph.
12.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
Richie takes a sip of a Bloody Mary.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Richie had retired from professional
tennis at twenty-six. His last match
had been widely discussed in the media.
INSERT:
A copy of the Sporting Press magazine. On the cover, there
is a photograph of Richie standing at the baseline of a
tennis court. He wears no shoes and only one sock, and there
are tears all over his face. The stands behind him are
filled with confused fans. A caption across the page says
“Meltdown!” And, in smaller letters, “Tenenbaum suffers midmatch
nervous collapse in the semis at Windswept Fields.”
CUT TO:
Richie dictating to the radio operator.
RICHIE
Your friend, Richie. End of letter.
Richie signs a slip of paper and hands it to the radio
operator. He wraps a scarf around his neck and goes out the
door.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
For the past year he had been traveling
alone on an ocean liner called the Cote
d’Ivoire and had seen both poles, five
oceans, the Amazon and the Nile.
INT. LIBRARY. NIGHT.
Eli stands at a podium reading from a book to a crowded
audience. A telegram marked “Ship to Shore” is tucked into
his coat pocket. His voice is quietly dramatic.
ELI
The crickets and the rust-beetles
scuttled among the nettles of the
sagethicket. Vamanos, amigos, he
whispered, and threw the busted leather
flintscraw over the loose weave of the
saddlecock. And they rode on in the
friscalating dusklight.
Eli looks up. He closes his book. The audience applauds
uproariously.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Eli was an assistant professor of
English Literature at Brooks College.
The recent publication of his second
novel --
13.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
INSERT:
A copy of Eli Cash’s latest book, Old Custer. On the dust
jacket there is an illustration of an Indian in warpaint with
a long, bloody knife clasped between his teeth and a yellow
scalp hanging from his hand.
INT. LOBBY. NIGHT.
Eli walks among the card catalogues surrounded by a crowd of
admirers.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
-- had earned him a sudden, unexpected
literary celebrity.
CUT TO:
Eli standing near the circulation desk with a group of
professors drinking cocktails.
ELI
Well, everyone knows Custer died at
Little Bighorn. What this book
presupposes is:
(tentatively)
maybe he didn’t?
Eli shrugs and smiles.
CUT TO:
Eli placing a call from a pay phone in the lobby. He unfolds
a newspaper clipping and looks at it while he waits. He says
suddenly into the receiver:
ELI (CONT’D)
Let me ask you something. Why would a
reviewer make the point of saying
someone’s not a genius? I mean, do you
think I’m especially not a genius?
Isn’t that --
Someone gives Eli a book to sign. He scribbles his name on
it and hands it back without looking. He says sadly:
ELI (CONT’D)
You didn’t even have to think about it,
did you?
INT. BATHROOM. NIGHT.
The bathroom of Margot’s and Raleigh’s apartment. Margot
sits Indian-style on the counter painting her toenails red
and talking on the telephone. There are cotton balls between
her toes, and she has a towel wrapped around her.
14.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
Hot water runs full blast in the bathtub. A little black-andwhite
television set is tuned in to the six o’clock news with
the sound turned off. Margot whispers into the telephone:
MARGOT
Well, I just don’t use that word
lightly.
Margot takes a drag of a cigarette balanced at the edge of
the sink. There is knock on the door. Margot does not look
up.
MARGOT (CONT’D)
I have to go, Eli.
Margot hangs up the telephone. There is another knock.
RALEIGH
Margot?
Raleigh has an English accent with a lisp. Margot answers
without taking the cigarette out of her mouth.
MARGOT
Uh-huh?
RALEIGH
May I come in, please?
Margot puts out her cigarette. She waves the smoke away,
turns on a little electric fan, and sprays perfume into the
air with an atomizer. She reaches over and unlocks the door
with her foot.
Raleigh cracks open the door and looks inside. He is wearing
red pajamas and a camel’s-hair bathrobe. He seems worried
and intimidated.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Margot was married to the writer and
neurologist Raleigh St. Clair.
INSERT:
A copy of Raleigh St. Clair’s latest book, The Peculiar Neurodegenerative
Inhabitants of the Kazawa Atoll. On the dust
jacket, there is a photograph of Raleigh -- dressed in a
Speedo, with goggles on top of his head -- on a beach,
standing next to a Kasawa. The Kasawa stares at him
curiously.
CUT TO:
Raleigh looking in the bathroom doorway.
RALEIGH
How are you, my darling?
15.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
MARGOT
Fine, thank you.
Margot blows on her toenails.
RALEIGH
You must eat something. Shall I make
your dinner?
MARGOT
No, thank you.
Margot taps her fingers on the counter. The wooden one makes
a clicking sound. She looks to Raleigh. Raleigh hesitates.
He goes out suddenly and closes the door. Margot reaches
over with her foot and locks it.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
She was known for her extreme secrecy.
For example, none of the Tenenbaums knew
she was a smoker, which she had been
since the age of twelve.
Margot opens a box of Q-Tips. There is a cigarette hidden
inside. She takes it out and lights it.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Nor were they aware of her first
marriage and divorce to a recording
artist in Jamaica.
INSERT:
A remaindered copy of Desmond Winston Manchester XI’s LP
record Dynamite Stick. On the sleeve there is a photograph
of five Rastafarians standing in front of a metal shack. A
younger Margot stands behind them partly hidden in the door
frame. She is dressed in a string bikini.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
She kept a private studio in Mockingbird
Heights under the name Helen Scott.
INT. STUDIO. DAY.
A small room with one wooden chair and a metal stand with an
IBM electric typewriter on it. There are posters for several
of Margot’s plays leaning against the walls. The titles
include: Static Electricity, Erotic Transference and
Nakedness Tonight.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
She had not completed a play in seven
years.
16.
CONTINUED: (2)
INT. RALEIGH’S LABORATORY. DAY.
Raleigh’s basement. Raleigh sits at a table, across from a
fifteen-year-old boy in a plaid fishing hat with “Dudley”
stitched across the front. Raleigh is dressed in a
turtleneck shirt and a corduroy blazer with suede patches on
the elbows. The boy has an earphone in his ear. He wears
Henry Aaron-style flip-up sunglasses.
Raleigh and Dudley both have a set of building blocks in
front of them. Raleigh’s are arranged in the shape of a
symmetrical cross. Dudley’s are strewn out randomly. A
cardboard screen stands in between the two sets of blocks.
Raleigh says into his tape recorder:
RALEIGH
Seventeen October. Third examination of
Dudley Heinsbergen.
Raleigh lifts the cardboard screen and looks to Dudley.
RALEIGH (CONT’D)
All right, Dudley. Make yours look like
mine.
Dudley sets to work, moving his blocks around slowly.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Raleigh’s next book was on the subject
of a condition he called Heinsbergen’s
Syndrome.
Dudley finishes arranging his blocks into the shape of a lopsided
octagon with branches coming out of it.
DUDLEY
Done.
Raleigh begins to laugh quietly. He shakes his head.
RALEIGH
My goodness. How interesting. How
bizarre.
CUT TO:
Raleigh sitting in a corner. Dudley stands on the far side
of the room misspelling words on a chalkboard. Raleigh
whispers into his tape recorder:
RALEIGH (CONT’D)
Dudley suffers from a rare disorder
combining the symptoms of amnesia,
dyslexia and color-blindness, with a
highly acute sense of hearing.
17.
(CONTINUED)
Dudley turns around suddenly and frowns.
RALEIGH (CONT’D)
There is also evidence of --
DUDLEY
I’m not color-blind, am I?
Raleigh looks to Dudley. He hesitates.
RALEIGH
I’m afraid you are.
INT. CHAS’ APARTMENT. NIGHT.
Ari’s and Uzi’s bedroom. It is perfectly neat and organized
like a military barracks. There are night lights in every
socket. There are two fire extinguishers and a large firstaid
kit mounted on the wall. There is a turtle in a fish
tank in the corner. Ari and Uzi are sound asleep in their
bunk beds.
Chas stands in the doorway. His expression is blank. In one
hand, he holds a small tape recorder. In the other hand, he
holds a fishing lantern.
He turns on the lantern, which begins blinking rapidly in a
strobe effect. He presses play on the tape recorder, which
blasts a recording of a police siren at full volume. He
yells at the top of his lungs:
CHAS
Fire alarm! Ari! Uzi! Let’s go! Look
alive!
Ari bolts out of the top bunk. He is shirtless and has on
pajama bottoms. He puts on a pair of cleats and grabs the
turtle out of the fish tank. Uzi sits up. He looks half
asleep. Chas runs around the room, tipping over chairs and
blasting the tape recorder. He looks to Uzi. He screams:
CHAS (CONT’D)
Uzi! Let’s go!
INT. HALLWAY. NIGHT.
Ari presses the button for the elevator and waits. The
apartment is extremely large and spare. It looks like a
museum.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Chas’ wife, Rachael, was killed in a
plane crash the previous summer.
Chas and Uzi rush into the hallway. Uzi has on a pajama top
and underwear. Chas yells to Ari:
18.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
CHAS
No elevators! There’s a fire!
INT. STAIRWELL. NIGHT.
They race down the stairs. Chas picks up Uzi.
UZI
What about Buckley?
CHAS
You forgot him.
Uzi starts to cry.
INSERT:
A slide projected onto a screen. Ari and Uzi and their
mother stand in front of a small plane outside a hangar. The
mother has on sunglasses with a scarf tied over her hair.
The wind blows her dress sideways, and she is laughing. The
boys wear camp shorts and no shirts. Uzi is doing a karate
stance.
There is a beagle looking out of the window of the plane.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Chas and their two sons, Ari and Uzi,
were also on the flight and survived, as
did their dog, who was discovered in his
cage several thousand yards from the
crash site.
CUT TO:
A dog’s cage upside down in the desert surrounded by scraps
of metal and clothing. A cloud of smoke billows in the
distance.
INT. BATHROOM. NIGHT.
The beagle is asleep next to the bathtub on a little bed with
“Buckley” written on it. He looks very old and has white fur
around his eyes. His breathing is wheezy. Chas’ siren can
be heard in the distance outside the window. It stops.
EXT. SIDEWALK. NIGHT.
Chas, Ari and Uzi stand on the sidewalk, looking up at the
building. The street is deserted. The tape recorder has
been turned off. The lantern is still blinking.
Chas turns off the lantern and presses stop on his stopwatch.
CHAS
Four minutes and forty-eight seconds.
We’re all dead. Burned to a crisp.
19.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
Chas shakes his head. He looks disoriented and weak.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Over the last six months, he had become
increasingly concerned with their
safety.
Uzi is still crying.
UZI
We left Buckley.
Chas rubs his eyes and his temples. He says quietly:
CHAS
It doesn’t matter.
Chas sits down on the sidewalk. Ari and Uzi look scared.
The doorman watches uneasily from the lobby.
INT. ETHELINE’S STUDY. DAY.
The walls of Etheline’s study are filled with pre-Columbian
art and primitive tools and weapons. There are shelves full
of hundreds of bones and bits of pottery with little numbers
painted on them. There are stacks of National Geographics on
the floor. A human skeleton hangs on a stand in the corner.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Etheline became an archaeologist and had
overseen excavations for the Department
of Housing and the Transit Authority.
The back doors are open on to the garden. Pagoda sits on a
bench outside, peeling potatoes, listening to a Walkman with
headphones. His hair is now white.
Etheline is at her desk studying an arrowhead while Henry
sits next to her. He is working on her taxes.
HENRY
Apropos of my question re: I-40 slash I-
9 adjustments.
Henry stands up. He seems very nervous. Etheline looks up
at him curiously.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
She taught bridge class twice a week
with her friend and business manager,
Henry Sherman.
INSERT:
20.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
A copy of Henry Sherman’s book, Accounting for Everything. A
caption at the top of the cover says “A Guide to Personal
Finance.” It appears to have been published in the late
sixties.
CUT TO:
Henry looking down at Etheline.
HENRY
It would probably be advantageous for
your marital status to be legally
established as single, in light of the
circumstances.
ETHELINE
What do you mean?
HENRY
I mean for tax purposes.
ETHELINE
(pause)
But I thought it was --
HENRY
Etheline?
ETHELINE
Yes?
HENRY
Will you marry me?
Pagoda stops peeling the potatoes. He takes off one ear of
his headphones. Etheline puts on her prescription
sunglasses.
HENRY (CONT’D)
I love you. Did you already know that?
ETHELINE
No, I didn’t.
Henry nods calmly.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Since her separation from her husband,
she had had many suitors --
MONTAGE:
A large man stands on a glacier in Antarctica with penguins
behind him. He wears a hooded fur coat and has ice frozen
into his beard. He checks the elevation with a compass. A
title identifies him as Neville Smythe-Dorleac.
21.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
An Asian man in a tweed suit and large, perfectly round
glasses on a settee in a room filled with avant-garde
furniture and sculpture. He has several sets of blueprints
under his arm. A title identifies him as Yasuo Oshima.
A white-haired man sits in a director’s chair on a sound
stage, surrounded by extras dressed as futuristic earthlings
and aliens. He has a strong, weathered face and wears a
safari jacket. A title identifies him as Franklin Benedict.
CUT TO:
Henry looking down at Etheline. He has two bandaged shaving
cuts, and a safety pin holds his glasses together.
NARRATOR (CONT’D)
-- but had not considered a single one
until this moment.
Etheline starts to say something. She hesitates.
ETHELINE
This isn’t really a tax issue, is it?
HENRY
(pause)
That’s true. I don’t know why I put it
that way.
Etheline smiles slightly. She takes Henry’s hand.
ETHELINE
Let me think about it, Henry.
Pagoda frowns.
INT. TELEPHONE ROOM. DAY.
Pagoda places a call.
PAGODA
Hello, please. Tell Mr. Royal this is
the Pagoda.
INT. ELEVATOR. DAY.
Royal rides down in the elevator at the Lindbergh Palace. He
is dressed in a gray double-breasted Savile Row pinstripe
suit, a dark pink shirt, a red-and-pink-striped tie, and
Aristotle Onassis-style wrap-around sunglasses. He smokes a
cigarette.
The elevator operator has a thin, gray moustache and jetblack
hair. He is Dusty. The elevator stops.
ROYAL
Thanks, Dusty.
22.
CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED)
DUSTY
You’re welcome.
INT. LOBBY. DAY.
The elevator doors open and Royal strides out quickly. He
crosses through a gigantic lobby. A bellboy appears.
BELLBOY
There’s a call for you, Mr. Tenenbaum.
ROYAL
Who is it?
BELLBOY
A Mr. Pagoda.
ROYAL
I’ll take it in there.
Royal points to a little wood-paneled telephone booth.
INT. TELEPHONE BOOTH. DAY.
The telephone rings. Royal answers it.
ROYAL
What do you got?
EXT. CITY PARK. DAY.
Royal and Pagoda stand alone in the middle of a field. A
light, misting rain falls.
PAGODA
The black man asks her to be his wife.
ROYAL
(quietly)
No shit? And what’d Ethel say?
PAGODA
She thinks about it.
Royal stares off into space. He shakes his head.
ROYAL
I don’t like the sound of this one damn
bit, Pagoda. I mean, Lord knows I’ve
had my share of infidelities. But she’s
still my wife.
(pause)
And no goddamn two-bit chartered
accountant’s going to change that.
INSERT:
23.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
Page 50 of The Royal Tenenbaums. It says “Chapter Three.”
INT. HALLWAY. NIGHT.
The doorbell rings. Pagoda comes into the hallway and opens
the front door. Uzi is on the steps with a duffel bag over
his shoulder and a stack of coloring books under his arm.
Buckley is at his side. Buckley has a cold and coughs often.
There is a silver BMW parked at the curb with three doors and
the trunk open. Chas, Ari and a uniformed driver are
unpacking suitcases, blankets, boxes, clothes, toys, boxing
gloves and a computer. The driver is Anwar.
Chas, Ari and Uzi all wear red Adidas warm-ups.
CHAS
Give us a hand, Pagoda.
Pagoda frowns. He starts down the steps.
INT. LIVING ROOM. NIGHT.
There are twenty people at five card tables playing bridge.
Most of them are in their fifties and sixties. They look
very distinguished. Etheline and Henry are among them.
Chas, Ari, Uzi, Anwar and Pagoda come out of the hallway and
cross through the living room, struggling with all of their
possessions. Pagoda carries the fish tank with the turtle in
it. Buckley follows them.
The bridge players watch strangely as they pass. Chas looks
back at them but keeps moving. Etheline hesitates.
ETHELINE
Chas?
Chas stops in the doorway. Pagoda leads Ari, Uzi, Anwar and
Buckley out of the room, up the stairs.
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
What’s going on?
CHAS
We got locked out of our apartment.
Etheline seems confused.
ETHELINE
Did you call a locksmith?
CHAS
(hesitates)
Uh-huh.
24.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
ETHELINE
(pause)
I don’t understand. Did you pack your
bags before you got locked out? Or how
did you --
CHAS
It’s not safe over there.
Silence. Etheline looks to her guests.
ETHELINE
Excuse me for a moment, please.
INT. HALLWAY. NIGHT.
Etheline closes the sliding door to the living room. She and
Chas stand alone in the hallway.
ETHELINE
What are you talking about?
CHAS
The apartment. I have to get some new
sprinklers and a back-up security system
installed.
ETHELINE
But there’s no sprinklers here, either.
Chas looks up and studies the ceiling. He shrugs.
CHAS
Well, we might have to do something
about that, too.
Etheline looks concerned.
CUT TO:
Two dalmation mice chewing on a plate of hors d'oeuvres on
the window sill. The bridge players watch them silently.
INT. CHAS’ BEDROOM. NIGHT.
Ari and Uzi sit silently on the bunk beds in Chas’ room.
They have dark circles under their eyes and seem exhausted.
Chas walks around the room examining things. He looks like
a wreck, but acts incredibly cheerful, pretending not to
notice how sad the boys look.
CHAS
Isn’t this great? It feels like we’re
camping.
Chas chuckles as he turns on his old electric tie rack.
25.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
ARI
When are we going home?
Chas sees something across the room. He frowns.
CHAS
Who put that in here?
There is a framed poster leading against the wall in the
corner. It is a tennis-shoe advertisement with a picture of
Richie holding a trophy over his head, surrounded by a
cheering crowd. A caption across the top says “The Baumer.”
Chas turns it around to face the wall. He kisses Ari and Uzi
goodnight.
CHAS (CONT’D)
See you in the morning.
Chas goes out the door. A moment later, he comes back in.
CHAS (CONT’D)
You know what? I’m going to sleep in
here, and that way we can all be
together.
Chas spreads out a blanket on the floor and lies down. Uzi
comes and lies down next to him.
INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE. DAY.
Royal sits on the edge of an examination table with white
butcher paper on it. A young doctor on a rolling stool takes
Royal’s blood pressure as they talk.
ROYAL
What kind of side effects can be
expected?
DOCTOR
Well, there’s a number of possibilities.
Severe nausea and dizziness are
standard. A certain percentage of
patients may also experience seizure.
ROYAL
You mean like flopping around on the
floor and everything?
DOCTOR
In some cases.
Royal nods gravely.
26.
CONTINUED:
EXT. HALLWAY. DAY.
Etheline and Raleigh stand outside the bathroom in Margot and
Raleigh’s apartment. Etheline has on an overcoat and gloves.
Raleigh knocks on the door.
RALEIGH
You have a visitor, my darling.
Margot answers without opening the door:
MARGOT
Who is it?
ETHELINE
It’s me, sweetie.
Silence. A key slides from under the door to Etheline’s
feet. Etheline looks to Raleigh. Raleigh looks embarrassed.
INT. BATHROOM. DAY.
Margot is in the bathtub watching Planet of the Apes on her
little black-and-white television set. Etheline sits on the
edge of the tub with her coat in her lap.
ETHELINE
Raleigh says you’ve been spending six
hours a day locked in here watching
television and soaking in the tub.
MARGOT
(pause)
I doubt that.
ETHELINE
Well, I don’t think that’s very healthy,
do you? Nor do I think it’s very
intelligent to keep an electrical gadget
on the edge of the bathtub.
MARGOT
I tied it to the radiator.
Etheline examines the television set. There is a length of
red twine wrapped around it and knotted to a pipe.
ETHELINE
Well, it can’t be very good for your
eyes, anyway.
Margot turns off the television set with her foot. She looks
to Etheline. Etheline smooths back Margot’s wet hair.
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
Chas came home.
27.
(CONTINUED)
MARGOT
(pause)
What do you mean?
ETHELINE
He and Ari and Uzi are going to stay
with me for a little while.
MARGOT
(frowns)
Why are they allowed to do that?
ETHELINE
(hesitates)
Well, I don’t know, exactly. But I
think he’s been very depressed ever
since --
MARGOT
(urgently)
So am I.
ETHELINE
(pause)
So are you what?
EXT. STREET. DAY.
The front door of Margot and Raleigh’s apartment building
opens. Margot comes out and goes down the steps with three
suitcases and her TV. Raleigh follows her. Etheline and
Dudley walk behind them. Raleigh sounds desperately unhappy.
RALEIGH
But why is this bloody necessary?
MARGOT
Because I’m in a rut, and I need a
change. Hang on.
Margot sets down her suitcases and goes into a telephone
booth with graffiti spray-painted all over it. She closes
the door and makes a call.
Etheline stands on the corner and raises her hand into the
air. A gypsy cab pulls over. Raleigh waits uncomfortably
outside the telephone booth. He watches Margot talking on
the telephone. Dudley points at the taxi.
DUDLEY
That taxi has a dent in it.
Margot comes out of the telephone booth.
RALEIGH
You don’t love me anymore, do you?
28.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
MARGOT
I do, kind of. I can’t explain it right
now.
Raleigh looks crestfallen. Margot puts her suitcases into
the back seat of the taxi. Dudley continues to point at it.
DUDLEY
Another dent here and another dent
there.
MARGOT
(gently)
I’ll call you, OK?
Raleigh nods. Margot gets into the taxi. Etheline looks at
Raleigh sadly. She gets into the taxi and closes the door.
Raleigh and Dudley watch the taxi drive away. Raleigh has
tears in his eyes. Dudley takes a bite of a graham cracker.
INT. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. NIGHT.
Margot goes into her room and sets her suitcases on the
floor. She closes the door and locks it. She opens the door
to the closet and turns on the light. She whispers:
MARGOT
Hello?
There is a rustle behind some hanging clothes. Eli looks out
nervously and slowly emerges. He is dressed in white briefs.
He whispers:
ELI
Hello, beautiful.
CUT TO:
Margot and Eli in Margot’s single bed with the sheets pulled
over their heads. Margot is eating potato chips, smoking a
cigarette, and watching the news on her TV with the sound
turned off.
ELI (CONT’D)
Could we have dinner with your mother
sometime?
Margot frowns. She looks at Eli strangely.
MARGOT
What for?
ELI
(shrugs)
I don’t know. I’d just love to see her.
29.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
MARGOT
I don’t think so, Eli.
Eli looks disappointed.
EXT. SIDEWALK. DAY.
The next morning, Etheline comes out the front door of the
Tenenbaum house and goes down the steps. Royal suddenly
appears at her side.
ROYAL
You got a minute?
Etheline looks startled. She keeps walking.
ETHELINE
What are you doing here?
ROYAL
I need a favor. I want to spend some
time with you and the children.
ETHELINE
Are you crazy?
ROYAL
Now, hold on, dammit.
ETHELINE
Stop following me.
ROYAL
I want my family back.
ETHELINE
Well, you can’t have it. I’m sorry for
you, but it’s too late.
Royal hesitates for a fraction of a second.
ROYAL
I’m dying, baby.
Etheline stops. She looks to Royal.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
I’m sick as a dog. I’ll be dead in six
weeks. I’m dying.
ETHELINE
What are you talking about?
Royal stares at her blankly. He nods.
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
What happened?
30.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
Royal shrugs. Etheline looks stunned.
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
Oh, my God.
Etheline looks as if she is going to faint. Royal seems
suddenly worried.
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
I’m sorry. I didn’t know.
Etheline cannot seem to catch her breath. Royal looks around
nervously.
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
What’d they say? What’s the prognosis?
Etheline begins to hyperventilate. Royal tries to calm her
down.
ROYAL
Take it easy, Ethel.
Etheline stumbles a step and Royal catches her. He looks
scared.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
Hold on. Hold on.
ETHELINE
(urgently)
Where’s the doctor? Let’s get --
ROYAL
Wait a second.
Royal holds Etheline by the shoulders. He hesitates. He
says gently, trying to comfort her:
ROYAL (CONT’D)
Listen. I’m not dying. But I need some
time.
Etheline looks puzzled.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
A month. Maybe two. I want us to --
Etheline slaps Royal hard in the face. She says furiously:
ETHELINE
What’s wrong with you?
ROYAL
Ethel.
31.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
ETHELINE
Go away!
Etheline turns away and walks quickly across the street.
ROYAL
Baby. I am dying.
Etheline stops. She looks back to Royal. She can see from
the look on his face that now he is telling the truth. She
goes over to him in the middle of the intersection.
ETHELINE
Are you or aren’t you?
ROYAL
(pause)
Dying? Yes.
INT. HENRY’S APARTMENT/ETHELINE’S TELEPHONE ROOM. DAY.
A telephone conversation. Henry sits at a desk in his study.
There are ledger books and adding machines in front of him
and glass statues of birds and animals behind him. Etheline
is in the telephone room on Archer Avenue.
HENRY
Have you told your children?
ETHELINE
More or less.
HENRY
And are they all right?
ETHELINE
Hard to say.
INT. 375TH STREET Y/CHAS’ ROOM. DAY.
A second telephone conversation. Ari talks on a pay phone
next to an indoor pool. Uzi stands beside him. Each wears
goggles and an orange life-jacket belted tightly. A sign on
the wall says “Water Safety and Rescue Class, 11 a.m.” Chas
sits at the desk in his bedroom on Archer Avenue.
UZI
Who’s your father?
CHAS
His name’s Royal Tenenbaum.
ARI
You told us he was already dead.
32.
CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED)
CHAS
(hesitates)
But now he’s really dying.
INT. ELI’S TOWNHOUSE/MARGOT’S BATHROOM-DARKROOM. DAY.
A third telephone conversation. Eli sits on a couch in front
of a painting of two men wearing ski masks riding a
motorcycle chasing after a screaming girl in a bikini. He
smokes a long, Moroccan-looking pipe. Margot talks on the
telephone in her bathroom on Archer Avenue. There are three
bottles of developing chemicals and a photographic enlarger
next to the sink.
ELI
I’m very sorry, Margot.
MARGOT
That’s OK. We’re not actually related,
anyway.
ELI
That’s true.
EXT. BOAT DECK. DAY.
The Cote d’Ivoire. Richie sits under a wool blanket in a
chaise lounge reading a telegram with “Shore to Ship” printed
across the top. He looks upset. A waiter stands next to him
with a pen and a pad of paper in his hand. All of the other
passengers on the deck are very elderly and have white hair.
RICHIE
I’d like to send a response, Alberto.
WAITER
Yes, sir. Go ahead.
RICHIE
Dear Mom, I received your message. I’m
coming home as soon as possible.
(pause)
Who do I see about that?
The waiter shrugs.
EXT. PIER 32. DAY.
The entrance to the passenger terminal for the Cote d’Ivoire.
A sign across the glass says “Royal Arctic Line.” Richie
stands on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets as
bundled-up, white-haired passengers and baggage handlers run
by around him. He has two small suitcases and a vinyl bag
with a pouch on he side for a tennis racket. There is no
racket in it. Two elderly men with white hair come over to
him.
33.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
ELDERLY MAN 1
Can we get a picture with you, Baumer?
Richie nods. One of the elderly men gives his camera to a
baggage handler, and they stand next to Richie.
ELDERLY MAN 2
I saw you whip Vishniac in the finals at
Glenchester. You were beautiful back
then.
Richie smiles briefly. The baggage handler takes the
picture.
ELDERLY MAN 1
Thanks, Champ.
The two elderly men walk away. A city bus stops at the
corner. The door opens and Margot gets out. She smiles at
Richie and waves. She wears a mink coat with a belt around
it. She has on pink gloves. She walks across the sidewalk
and stops ten feet in front of Richie as the bus drives away.
They stand there smiling at each other.
MARGOT
Stand up straight and let me get a look
at you.
Richie stands up a little straighter and continues to look at
Margot with the same smile.
MARGOT (CONT’D)
What’s so funny?
Richie shrugs.
MARGOT (CONT’D)
Well, it’s nice to see you, too.
Their smiles fade, and they both look cold and sad. Richie
reaches out his hand. Margot goes over to him and puts her
arms around him.
EXT. TENENBAUM HOUSE. DAY.
Margot and Richie stand on the steps in front of the house.
The door opens and Etheline and Pagoda come outside and hug
Richie. Richie and Henry shake hands. Ari and Uzi come
running out and hug Richie.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
That night, Etheline found all of her
children living together under the same
roof for the first time in seventeen
years.
34.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
Chas watches from his window on the third floor. Richie
looks up and sees him. Richie waves tentatively. Chas waves
back without smiling.
EXT. ROOF. DAWN.
Richie comes out on to the roof dressed in pajamas. He opens
his falcon’s coop. He puts his hand under the falcon’s feet,
and the falcon steps on to his fist. The falcon’s hood says
Mordecai across the front. Richie pulls a leather cord and
lifts the hood off the falcon’s head. He strokes the
falcon’s feathers and talks softly in its ear.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The next morning Richie woke at dawn.
He had decided birds should not be kept
in cages, fed Mordecai three sardines,
and set him free.
CUT TO:
An hour later. Richie sits on a box on the roof eating a
bowl of cereal and reading a book called Three Plays by
Margot Tenenbaum. There is an empty tin of sardines at his
feet. The door to the falcon’s coop is open, and the falcon
is gone.
INSERT:
Page 76 of The Royal Tenenbaums. It says “Chapter Four.”
EXT. STREET. EVENING.
Royal gets out of a gypsy cab in front of the Tenenbaum
house. He is dressed in a white bathrobe, white pajamas and
red bedroom slippers. He carries a cane, but walks across
the sidewalk quickly and energetically.
Pagoda waits for him at the top of the steps. They shake
hands. Silence.
ROYAL
OK.
Pagoda opens the front door.
INT. LIVING ROOM. EVENING.
Royal sits on a stool across from Richie and Margot on the
couch. Chas stands at a table in the corner reading Richie’s
Atlas of the World. Royal looks to Chas. Chas looks back at
him but does not move. Royal looks back to Richie and
Margot.
ROYAL
I’ve missed the hell out of you, my
darlings. You know that, don’t you?
35.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
MARGOT
I hear you’re dying.
ROYAL
So they tell me.
MARGOT
I’m sorry.
ROYAL
(shrugs)
I had a good run.
RICHIE
You don’t look so sick, Dad.
ROYAL
Thank you.
RICHIE
What’ve you got?
ROYAL
I’ve got a pretty bad case of cancer.
CHAS
(yawning)
How long are you going to last?
Royal looks across the room at Chas. Chas does not look up
from his atlas.
ROYAL
Not long.
CHAS
A month? A year?
ROYAL
About six weeks.
Royal looks back to Richie and Margot.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
But let me get to the point here. The
three of you and your mother are all
I’ve got, and I love you more than
anything.
Chas laughs quietly.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
Let me finish. Now, I’ve got six weeks
to set things right with you, and I aim
to do it. Will you give me a chance?
36.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
CHAS
No.
ROYAL
Do you speak for everyone?
CHAS
I speak for myself.
ROYAL
Well, you’ve made your views known. So
why don’t you let somebody else do some
of the talking now?
MARGOT
What do you propose to do?
ROYAL
Well, I can’t say, really. Make up for
lost time, I suppose. But the first
thing I’d like to do is take you to see
your grandmother, at some point.
RICHIE
(pause)
I haven’t been out there since I was
six.
MARGOT
I haven’t been there at all. I was
never invited.
ROYAL
Well, she wasn’t your real grandmother,
so I didn’t know you’d be interested,
sweetie. Anyway, you’re invited this
time.
MARGOT
Thanks.
Richie looks to Chas. He looks back to Royal.
RICHIE
You know, Rachael’s buried there, too.
ROYAL
(pause)
Who?
CHAS
My wife.
ROYAL
Oh. That’s right, isn’t it? Well, we
can swing by her grave, too.
37.
CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED)
Chas slams the atlas shut and puts it back into the bookcase.
He walks toward the door. Royal extends his hand as Chas
walks by. Chas slaps it away and goes out of the room.
Royal says to Margot and Richie:
ROYAL (CONT’D)
I’ll be right back.
INT. STAIRWAY. EVENING.
Chas is already half-way to the second floor as Royal appears
at the bottom of the steps.
ROYAL
Chas?
Chas stops. He looks down to Royal.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
May I see my grandsons?
CHAS
Why?
ROYAL
Because I’d like to finally meet them.
Chas scoffs at the idea and shakes his head.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
Don’t give me that guff.
CHAS
I think we’ll pass.
Chas walks away up the stairs. There is a clean square and a
hook on the wall in the stairwell, as if something has been
removed. Royal frowns. He yells toward the kitchen:
ROYAL
Pagoda! Where’s my javelina?
INT. LIVING ROOM. NIGHT.
Royal stands in the living room with Richie and Margot.
ROYAL
I’ll say goodnight to you now, children.
Margot waves. Richie hugs Royal. Royal looks to be on the
verge of tears.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
Thank you, my sweet boy.
38.
CONTINUED: (3)
EXT. TENENBAUM HOUSE. NIGHT.
Royal and Pagoda stand outside the top of the front steps.
Royal says quickly:
ROYAL
I’ll contact you in the next twelve
hours and give you further instructions.
Pagoda nods. A taxi stops in front of the house. Royal’s
face darkens. Henry and Etheline get out of the taxi. They
each carry a playbill for a play called That Rascal. Royal
clamps his hand on Pagoda’s arm and lets out a slow whistle.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
Look at that old grizzly bear.
Royal licks his fingers and smooths back his hair. He bounds
down the steps.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
Hello, Ethel! Good evening, sir. Hold
the cab, please, driver.
Henry leaves the door to the taxi open.
ETHELINE
Royal, this is Henry Sherman.
ROYAL
Hey, man. Lay it on me.
Royal puts out his hand for Henry to give him five. Henry
reluctantly slaps hands with Royal and says:
HENRY
How do you do?
ROYAL
(shrugs)
Ah, what can I say? I’m dying.
Henry looks uneasy.
ETHELINE
Don’t pay any attention to that man,
Henry.
ROYAL
I’m just kidding. Goodnight all.
Royal gets into the taxi and closes the door.
EXT. STREET. DAY.
Margot and Eli walk together down a street with trash
everywhere and abandoned cars and broken windows.
39.
(CONTINUED)
ELI
Right there is where I used to go get
jacked off.
Margot nods. She seems distracted.
ELI (CONT’D)
You don’t give a shit.
MARGOT
I’m listening.
(points to a deli)
Right there is where you used to go get
jacked off.
ELI
That’s right.
They walk in silence for a minute.
ELI (CONT’D)
How’s Richie?
MARGOT
(pause)
I don’t know. I can’t tell.
ELI
Yeah. Me, either. He wrote me a
letter. He says he’s in love with you.
MARGOT
(frowns)
What are you talking about?
ELI
(shrugs)
That’s what he said. I don’t know how
we’re supposed to take it. Hang on.
They stop in front of a partially demolished building. Eli
presses the buzzer to one of the apartments. A voice comes
on the call box:
VOICE
Hello?
ELI
Sugar, it’s Eli.
VOICE
Hey, baby.
The door buzzes open. Margot says blankly:
MARGOT
What are we doing, Eli?
40.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
ELI
I just got to pick something up. Don’t
repeat that, by the way. About Richie.
It was told in confidence.
Eli goes inside. Margot stands alone on the street. She
looks up at the destroyed building.
EXT. ARCHAEOLOGICAL EXCAVATION. DAY.
A large network of pits between two brownstone townhouses.
There are workers digging, surveying, sketching, and shaking
dirt through metal hand-screens.
The archaeologists crouch around Etheline while she compares
a bit of soil on the end of a trowel with a color chart in a
handbook. She is dressed entirely in denim except for a
scarf over her hair. She has on sunglasses and boots. The
three archaeologists are all scruffy young men with beards.
ETHELINE
Good. Now I’ll just remove the loose
soil and note the decomposition levels.
Etheline dusts off a partially unearthed skeleton. Henry
appears in the background, climbing down a ladder on the far
side of the pit. He wears a gray wool suit and tie. He
picks up a pebble off the ground and looks at it. Etheline
says to the three archaeologists:
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
These were probably slaves. Before the
arrival of the --
GRADUATE STUDENT
What are you doing?
A graduate student with a shovel is looking at Henry and
frowning. Etheline and the three archaeologists turn around
and see them.
GRADUATE STUDENT (CONT’D)
Please, put that artifact back where you
found it, sir.
Henry looks embarrassed. He puts the pebble back on the
ground.
CUT TO:
Etheline and Henry walking through a trench together.
HENRY
I’m sorry to interrupt your work.
ETHELINE
Don’t be silly.
41.
CONTINUED: (2)
(CONTINUED)
HENRY
I just wanted to apologize for the other
day. When I proposed to you.
ETHELINE
Why? I thought it was very sweet.
HENRY
Look. I know I’m not as accomplished as
some of the men you’ve been involved
with. Franklin Benedict and General
Cartwright and your ex-husband and --
ETHELINE
That’s ridiculous.
HENRY
But I feel I have just as much to offer
as any of them. I know I went about it
backwards, but --
ETHELINE
Henry, I have no interest in Frank
Benedict or Doug Cartwright. I never
did.
Henry falls into a pit and disappears from view. Etheline
does not notice this and continues walking.
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
And as far as Royal is concerned, he’s
the most --
Etheline stops. She looks around. She sees Henry climbing
up a ladder, out of the pit. He is covered with dirt and has
a small twig in his hair. She rushes over to him.
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
Are you all right?
Henry sighs. He brushes some dirt off his jacket.
HENRY
I’m fine. Anyway, let me know when you
make up your mind.
Henry starts to walk away. Etheline grabs his sleeve.
ETHELINE
Wait a second, Henry.
Henry stops. He looks to Etheline. She takes his hand and
kisses it. He looks surprised.
ETHELINE (CONT’D)
I’m sorry. I’m very nervous.
42.
CONTINUED:
(CONTINUED)
Etheline pulls the twig out of Henry’s hair.
HENRY
That’s OK. Thank you. Why are you --
ETHELINE
To tell you the truth, I haven’t slept
with a man in eighteen years.
Silence. Henry nods. He puts his hand on Etheline’s cheek.
INT. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. DAY.
Margot lies in her bed behind a mosquito net watching a
downhill skiing competition on her portable television.
Etheline stands in the doorway and says calmly:
ETHELINE
I think I’m falling for Henry.
Margot looks to Etheline. She pulls open the mosquito
netting.
MARGOT
That’s amazing.
ETHELINE
What do you think of him?
MARGOT
(excited)
I think he’s gorgeous.
ETHELINE
I’ll tell you a secret. He asked me to
marry him.
MARGOT
(dreamily)
I’m going to have a father.
ETHELINE
(hesitates)
Well, I haven’t accepted yet. Besides,
you already have a father, sweetheart.
MARGOT
Not really. Plus, now he’s dying.
CUT TO:
The hallway outside Margot’s room. Pagoda is poised in the
dark, watching from the stairs.
43.
CONTINUED: (2)
EXT. 375TH STREET Y ROOFTOP. DAY.
A rooftop park with a chain-link fence around it. There are
several fighters lifting weights and jumping rope. Ari does
chin-ups from a jungle gym. Uzi does sit-ups on a mat.
Buckley lays on the cement beside them.
Someone whistles from behind the fence. Ari and Uzi look.
It is Royal. He is inside a telephone booth with the door
partly open, holding the receiver to his ear. He signals for
Ari and Uzi to come over.
Ari frowns. He looks across the courtyard to Anwar, sitting
on a bench, reading a BMW owner’s manual. Royal ducks back
into the telephone booth and holds the receiver to his ear.
Anwar does not look up.
Ari slides down a fire-station-type pole. He and Uzi
cautiously go over to the fence with Buckley. Royal hangs up
the receiver and comes out of the telephone booth.
ROYAL
That’s a hell of an old hound dog you
got there. What’s he go by?
ARI
Buckley.
ROYAL
(pointing at Buckley)
Buckley. Sit.
Buckley sits. Royal looks impressed. He turns to Ari.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
You know who I am?
Ari shakes his head.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
I’m Royal. You heard of me?
Ari nods. Royal looks pleased. His expression becomes
serious again.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
I’m very sorry for your loss. Your
mother was a terribly attractive woman.
ARI
(pause)
Thank you.
ROYAL
Which one are you?
44.
(CONTINUED)
ARI
Ari.
ROYAL
(looks to Uzi)
Uzi, I’m your granddad.
UZI
Hello.
ROYAL
I’m sorry we haven’t gotten to know each
other. I don’t get invited around much.
What do you think about that, by the
way? You don’t have to say anything.
Royal sighs. He stares off into space.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
Kind of a fuck-you to the old man, I
guess.
Royal looks back to Ari and Uzi.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
How’s your daddy?
ARI
Fine.
ROYAL
You think so? How often’s he got you
working out?
ARI
Sixteen times a week.
ROYAL
(shakes his head)
Do me a favor. Tell him you want to
meet me.
UZI
But we just met.
ROYAL
No, we didn’t.
Ari and Uzi look confused.
ROYAL (CONT’D)
Look. I want us to have a relationship,
but we’re going to have to pull some
strings to make that happen.
(pause)
Here’s what you tell him...
45.
CONTINUED:
INT. CHAS’ BEDROOM. DAY.
Ari and Uzi sit across from Chas. He is behind his desk with
his back turned to them. Ari and Uzi are both dressed in
black Adidas warm-ups. Chas wears his red one. A technician
tinkers with a large Xerox machine on the other side of the
room. Another technician rolls in a crate on a dolly.
ARI
I bet Mom would’ve wanted us to meet him
before he died, wouldn’t she?
Chas turns his chair around and looks to Ari and Uzi.
Silence. He sighs.
EXT. CEMETERY. DAY.
A small cemetery next to an electrical power plant. The
trees are bare, and the city is across the river. Chas, Ari
and Uzi stand together dressed in black Adidas warm-ups.
Royal and Richie stand beside them.
Royal’s mother’s gravestone reads “Helen O’Reilly Tenenbaum
(1909-1962).” Epitaph: “The Salt of the Earth.” Royal
places a bouquet of white flowers at the foot of the grave.
There are tears in his eyes. He says to Chas:
ROYAL