Man severs own penis; eats peanuts on Canal

[dru]

that's a shame

[The Jays]

I always enjoyed the album version of Body Movin', not that Fatboy Slim mixed video shit.

[JimmyBlueEyes]

I suggest Calling Dr. Love by KISS, maybe Tease Me, Please Me, by the Scorpions.

If not that, then Suck My Kiss by the Chili Peppers.

[The Jays]

Nah, I don't think any song that overtly refers to sexual acts or the concept of love will work. I need something that catches her off guard, and makes her think "Jesus fucking Christ, where is that interesting and stimulating booty bouncing music coming from, and how can I rape the man who's playing it?"

I'm not looking for something that slaps her on the ass. I'm looking for a punch to the face, something she won't forget.

[GMANN]

Spoken like a true romantic

[The Jays]

I only look for the girls that will let me cum on their backs, and then run off with my condoms when I'm sleeping.

[dru]

don't forget about their affinity for sucking other cocks

[dru]

fatboy slim's version of body movin' does suck

but his song "love island" from you've come a long way baby is really good.

they played it at bellvue bar the other night & a bunch of chicks went up to the juke box & were all "what song is this?"

[The Jays]

It provides an easy escape from the relationship, and requires them to do all the work in breaking up with me.

They get to call me up, and be all like "Um, we need to talk. "

I put on my worried tone of voice.

"Why? What's the matter?"

"Well, I think we should be, you know, like friends, like ,, you know, friends."

"Well, we are friends. Cept we have sex on a regular basis."

"Well, I just want to be , you know, friends."

"Oh. Okay, cool."

"Can I have your condoms?"

[dru]

i've used the ex's condoms. but that's just cause they were left here.

it was spur of the moment. i didn't have a chance to buy more.