Bar-Fly HumoUr

[The Brain]

'Cause we've all heard ten gazillion "A (fill in the blank) walk into a bar" jokes, maybe it's time we share the best ones we've ever heard.

<b>Two guys walk into a bar.
The first guy says, "What do you want to drink, donkey?"
The second guy says, "A-a-a p-p-pint of g-g-Guinness...a-a-a p-pint of Guinness p- please."
The first guy goes up to the bar and says, "A pint of Guinness for me and a pint of Guinness for my friend donkey."
The bartender serves them, the guy takes the drinks, and says, "Here you go, donkey."
When they finish their drinks the first guy says, "It's your round, donkey. Go get us two pints of Guinness."
The second guy goes to the bar and says, "T-t-two p-p-pints of g-g-Guinness, p-p- please."
The bartender leans over and says, "Why the fuck does he call you donkey?"
The second guy says, "He-aw...he-aw...he-aw...he always c-calls me that." </b> :lol:

[reefdwella]

John sits down at a bar,
looking very dejected.
His friend Steve asks what’s wrong.
“It’s my mother-in-law,” John says.
“I have a real problem with her.
“Don’t worry,” Steve says. “
Everyone has problems with his mother-in-law.”
“Yeah,” John says, “but I got mine pregnant.”

[Ants in My Pants]

Guy walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!"

<img src="http://www.cs.washington.edu/homes/jonal/wedding/laughing.jpg" height=200 width=300>

<img src="http://www.politik-digital.de/fun/images/laughing.jpg" height=200 width=300>

<img src="http://www.spnm.org/about/images/laughing.jpg" height=200 width=300>

[Silera]

I only read Ant's and I think he wins!

[Ants in My Pants]

Termite walks into a bar and says, "Is the bar tender here?"

<img src="http://www.avestapolarit.com/upload/career_and_students/people_laughing_men_02_210.jpg" height=200 width=300>

<img src="http://homepages.which.net/~r.sim/images/laughing.jpg" height=200 width=300>

<img src="http://www.awardsforall.org.uk/england/york_humber/york_humber_images/case2/Methodist_Live_at_Home.jpg" height=200 width=300>

[Ninny]

Termite walks into a bar and says, \"Is the bar tender here?\"

I think you need another nap.

[Ants in My Pants]

Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. The bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." Naked lady says...

[Ninny]

Oh Shit!!!!!!

[reefdwella]

Originally posted by Ants in My Pants
Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. The bartender says, \"I suppose you won't be needing a drink.\" Naked lady says...

Best joke ever!

[IrishAlkey]

Bartender says "try the breakfast club...".