08-01-2003, 06:30 PM
Went down that path myself a few years back.
The starting point was when my Stepfather died. 3 days before Christmas in 2000.
Feb 2001 I moved into an apartment with a roommate who I cam to despise. Lots of things were going on.. the lack of money, bills just piling up, etc etc. The biggest thing was that I felt that no one cared. I was lonely. I hated that feeling.
I was at the point where I did attempt to take my life on 4 seperate occasions by overdosing on pills. I would only hold them down for about 5 minutes and make myself throw them back up though as I would get scared at the thought of death. Until recently (the last 2-3 months) not a single soul on earth knew that I had done that.
When I finally left there, I had just started to bring myself out of my depression. I moved in with my mom to help take care of her due to my stepfathers death and found myself in a much better place. I learned to just say fuck it when things began to bother me. I'm at a point in my life where I am the happiest I have ever been. Nothing stresses me out anymore. There is nothing that can bring me down for more than a few hours and I hold no grudges towards anyone. It was a long time coming and I am glad I am here.
I feel your pain as well. My brother, who most of you know as Baker/Ph34r, is in a deep depression right now. He cannot handle the people making fun of him as he takes it to heart. For a long time I couldn't even get him to leave the house without insinuating or flat out telling him that he is/has become a hermit. He is starting to go out more and more and I can see him beginning to take on my "fuck it" attitude. He has a long journey ahead of him and unfortunately I can only guide him. I want to do so much more for him and I cannot.
The starting point was when my Stepfather died. 3 days before Christmas in 2000.
Feb 2001 I moved into an apartment with a roommate who I cam to despise. Lots of things were going on.. the lack of money, bills just piling up, etc etc. The biggest thing was that I felt that no one cared. I was lonely. I hated that feeling.
I was at the point where I did attempt to take my life on 4 seperate occasions by overdosing on pills. I would only hold them down for about 5 minutes and make myself throw them back up though as I would get scared at the thought of death. Until recently (the last 2-3 months) not a single soul on earth knew that I had done that.
When I finally left there, I had just started to bring myself out of my depression. I moved in with my mom to help take care of her due to my stepfathers death and found myself in a much better place. I learned to just say fuck it when things began to bother me. I'm at a point in my life where I am the happiest I have ever been. Nothing stresses me out anymore. There is nothing that can bring me down for more than a few hours and I hold no grudges towards anyone. It was a long time coming and I am glad I am here.
I feel your pain as well. My brother, who most of you know as Baker/Ph34r, is in a deep depression right now. He cannot handle the people making fun of him as he takes it to heart. For a long time I couldn't even get him to leave the house without insinuating or flat out telling him that he is/has become a hermit. He is starting to go out more and more and I can see him beginning to take on my "fuck it" attitude. He has a long journey ahead of him and unfortunately I can only guide him. I want to do so much more for him and I cannot.
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