CDIH

Subject: Jokes from a Muslim Comedian


Jokes from Muslim stand-up comic Goffaq Yussef .


May be a sign of peace when we start hearing humor from a
Palestinian perspective... YEAH SURE!


____
Good evening gentlemen, and get out, ladies.
_____
On my flight to New York there must have been an Israeli in the
bathroom the entire time.
There was a sign on the door that said, "Occupied."
_____
What do you say to a Muslim woman with two black eyes?
Nothing! You told her twice already!
_____
How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb?
None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!
_____
Did you hear about the Broadway play, "The Palestinians"?
It bombed!
_____
What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia ? Lefty!
Did you hear about the Muslim strip club? It features full facial
nudity!
_____
Why do Palestinians find it convenient to live on the West Bank ?
Because it's just a stone's throw from Israel !
_____
Why are Palestinian boys luckier than American boys? Because every
Palestinian boy will get to join a rock group!
_____
A Palestinian suspect was being grilled by Israeli police.
"Honest, I'm not a suicide bomber," he said. "I didn't say I wanted
to blow myself up so I could sleep with 72 virgins.
All I said was, 'I'm dying to get laid!'"
_____
What does the sign say above the nursery in a
Palestinian maternity ward?
"Live ammunition."
_____
Palestinian girl says to her mommy:
"After Abdul blows himself up, can I have his room?"
_____


:wink: :wink:

Yuk! Yuk!

Take my camel, please!

Worst first post, ever.

the return of ikeaboy!

in islamic palestine you dont make worst post, worst post makes you

So this Palestinian walks into a bar and goes boom

And the Giants took one in das dumper.

Keyser Soze Wrote:the return of ikeaboy!

I've heard only legends and tales of his greatness, if this is it, I am disappointed.

Mad Wrote:Worst first post, ever.

No way!!! :twisted: :twisted:

Don't mind them, I bet they didnt even read the post. They simply are jealous bitches and haven't had fresh meat in a while.

and this one made me chuckle, not full on chortle though. Arpi will enjoy it I bet.

How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb?

None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!

Quote:"How bad could Hitler be?" Even HE had a girlfriend."

poor sleeper

Moved to The Pit.

Adolf Wrote:Don't mind them, I bet they didnt even read the post. They simply are jealous bitches and haven't had fresh meat in a while.

and this one made me chuckle, not full on chortle though. Arpi will enjoy it I bet.

How many Palestinians does it take to change a light bulb?

None! They sit in the dark forever and blame the Jews for it!

i would have laughed but i was too busy crying at the truth of it.

we should devote the rest of our lives towards making fun of arabs who kill jews because they are jealous bitches

Quote:2 million Muslim pilgrims prepare to begin hajj
March on Mt. Arafat begins Islam’s sacred pilgrimage; rituals begin Monday

Updated: 3:38 p.m. ET Jan. 8, 2006

MINA, Saudi Arabia - More than 2 million Muslims raised their hands to heaven and chanted in unison Sunday as they hiked through a desert valley to the outskirts of Mecca in preparation for Islam’s annual sacred pilgrimage.

The journey through the eight-mile-long valley puts the pilgrims from around the globe in place for the start of hajj rituals on Monday. The march takes Muslims along the steps of the prophet Muhammad, who gave his last sermon on Mount Arafat in 632.

The hajj rituals begin with the circling of the Kaaba, the huge black cube in the center of Mecca’s Grand Mosque, which Muslims around the world face when they offer their prayers five times daily.

On Monday, the faithful will move to Mount Arafat, offering prayers of repentance and asking for salvation and spiritual renewal. The next day, they carry out the symbolic stoning of the devil.

Saudi Arabia has taken extra precautions this year in an effort to prevent deadly stampedes that have killed hundreds during the stoning ritual. Two years ago, 244 people were trampled to death when the crowd panicked during the ritual.


On Thursday, a hostel collapsed, killing at least 73 people and wounding some 62 others.

Authorities have widened walkways to nearly 80 yards this year to reduce congestion.

Saudi television Sunday repeatedly broadcast instructions to the pilgrims to avoid forming in crowds or camping along the pathway.

The Saudis also have transformed three pillars representing the devil from tall obelisks to stone walls 85 feet long, allowing many more people to pelt them with pebbles at once. A religious fatwa also extended the hours permitted for the ritual.
© 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

LOL, fucking loser religion! where's the gold chalices and the bread and wine? all you get is a rock and a chance to punch your wife in the face because she's moving too slow.

Perfect place to get them all at once. RAMONNNNNNNE send a cruise missile or two.

only in the desert will you find a bunch of people who will pray towards a rock

both of you, stop. now.