CDIH

I went out with this girl I used to date, to a concert last night and I had some issues. I had absent mindedly taken my colon pure just out of routine. So I had some gas during the concert and she was pissed. So it reminded me of a situation that happened when we were dating. I told the story to beth on aim, so im not retyping it all...

ZippyAidsFace: SI girls are fuckin whorebags
ZippyAidsFace: but annoying
ZippyAidsFace: like the girl I went to the concert with
ZippyAidsFace: she called me today
ZippyAidsFace: PISSED
ZippyAidsFace: this is why it never worked out
ZippyAidsFace: I hung up on her
ZippyAidsFace: like wtf bitch, youre not my woman
ZippyAidsFace: I DONT SEE NO RINGS ON DEEZ FINGAZ
beth illyse 77: why was she pissed
ZippyAidsFace: cause of my "unprofessional demeanor"
beth illyse 77: having to shit?
ZippyAidsFace: the farts
ZippyAidsFace: yeah
ZippyAidsFace: I couldnt help it
beth illyse 77: ahaha
ZippyAidsFace: it was a good concert
beth illyse 77: thats awesome
ZippyAidsFace: I wasnt gonna leave
ZippyAidsFace: but they werent even like audible anyway
ZippyAidsFace: just a tad stinky
ZippyAidsFace: not like I was rippin ass
ZippyAidsFace: like loud
ZippyAidsFace: just little gassy cant hear ones
ZippyAidsFace: not for nothing but one time we went to my friend ryans engagement party
ZippyAidsFace: and she got drunk and did some coke
ZippyAidsFace: and was fucked up
ZippyAidsFace: and she shit herself in my car
ZippyAidsFace: she swears it never happened
ZippyAidsFace: but I fuckin cleaned her
ZippyAidsFace: like a baby
ZippyAidsFace: thats fuckin love first of all
ZippyAidsFace: and way more nastier
beth illyse 77: are you kidding me?
ZippyAidsFace: nein
ZippyAidsFace: Her parents were away that weekend and normally shes pretty like straight laced
ZippyAidsFace: few drinks
ZippyAidsFace: but never drugs
ZippyAidsFace: not even weed or nothin
ZippyAidsFace: so she got fucked up
ZippyAidsFace: did some coke
ZippyAidsFace: I didnt even know till later
ZippyAidsFace: so I barely get her in the car
ZippyAidsFace: and we drive to her place
ZippyAidsFace: shes passed out
ZippyAidsFace: I cant wake her
ZippyAidsFace: but shes fine not like we need to go to ER
ZippyAidsFace: just out cold
ZippyAidsFace: so I carry her to the house
ZippyAidsFace: and as I go to put my other hand underneath her
ZippyAidsFace: i feel a wet squish
ZippyAidsFace: and im like oh man she pissed herself and my seats
ZippyAidsFace: I pull my hand away and theres like brown wetness
ZippyAidsFace: oh noes
ZippyAidsFace: she pooped herself!!!
ZippyAidsFace: on my seats!!!
ZippyAidsFace: it was awful
beth illyse 77: & she has no idea
ZippyAidsFace: it was wet poopies and she was sitting, so it like squished out and like had nowhere to go, so it went up her back
ZippyAidsFace: it was everywhere
ZippyAidsFace: shes out!
ZippyAidsFace: out!!!
beth illyse 77: so she had the balls to call you & bitch you out for farting
ZippyAidsFace: she doesnt believe me!!!
ZippyAidsFace: cause I washed her in the tub
ZippyAidsFace: and I washed her clothes while she slept
ZippyAidsFace: so I had no proof
ZippyAidsFace: the seats smelled a bit but she said she had gas maybe
ZippyAidsFace: Im like farts dont leave residue!!!
beth illyse 77: i was gonna say you should kept clothes or soemthing
ZippyAidsFace: thats nasty
ZippyAidsFace: and I dont know most guys that woulda done all that first off
ZippyAidsFace: undress her, clean her, clean her pooper and vagina
ZippyAidsFace: wash her clothes
ZippyAidsFace: tuck her in
ZippyAidsFace: and not take advantage of her
ZippyAidsFace: I even made breakfast and shit
ZippyAidsFace: wtf
ZippyAidsFace: im too good to these hos

Dude, seriously...that was a real classy move. I would have puked several times, I'm sure.

yea I never wouldve cleaned all that up - I barely clean up my son when he has an accident.

I didnt even put on gloves or nothing, I even stuck my finger in her asshole to make sure to get any leftovers!

I have been thinking about the question.

My Dad had cancer surgery abouy 3 1/2 years ago and, on every almost every day off I had, I went to be with him. It was pretty tough on him because he likes to do things for himself, but after he recovered, he said he had learned who would be there for him. So that felt good.

way to go captain depresso

you forgot the rest of it:




beth illyse 77 (10:42:40 PM): you're a good man charlie brown
ZippyAidsFace (10:43:10 PM): that I am
ZippyAidsFace (10:43:13 PM): I make a mean omlet
ZippyAidsFace (10:43:26 PM): like when I lay down the plate
ZippyAidsFace (10:43:31 PM): it actually GRRRRRR's

That was a private offering for you to find out!

GonzoStyle Wrote:way to go captain depresso

no depressing would be if his dad actually died of the cancer.


oh... wait....crap.

drusilla Wrote:

GonzoStyle Wrote:way to go captain depresso

no depressing would be if his dad actually died of the cancer.


oh... wait....crap.

its not that, its the touchy feel good ending at the end of the post, I can picture the fruity ass hugs and tears... I LOVE YOU SON.... NO, I LOVE YOU DAD!!!

I thought it was a serious question. Sorry. I'll fix it in a jiffy.

God I hate mexicans

What is it with the damn shwuggies?

I slapped her....with my DICK!!!!


Better?

it's cause you never had a real father isn't it?

I had hopes for this thread, I shared a pretty damn good story I think!

then it got all wishy washy, now you have to rub in that I never had a daddy!!!

don't worry, you're not the only one.

(i wasn't talking about myself, but like other people i'm sure)

yeah, niggers.

Look what I went and did.

I fucked up Big G's post about his bitch ex-girlfriend.

I...I just wanted a hug....sniff sniff

ok, most loving thing you did for your bitch, not mushy garbage!

so anyway, yeah that was a great thing you did. she's a whore bag.


the only thing close to that that i have ever done is clean up my high school boyfriend after he puked 6 times at someone's apartment when we were in puerto rico for spring break senior year. it was his birthday & our friends had gone to the baccardi factory that day. they kept feeding him drinks after we had this nice dinner alone. he threw up 6 times, only making it to the bathroom for the last one. all over the apartment & the couch. everyone fucking left to go to a club & i had to clean up the apartment. it took me an hour to clean everything then another half hour to get him out of the apartment on to the street to find a cab back to the hotel. when i got him back to the hotel room i put him in the shower & he fucking broke the faucet right off the wall, so that was another half hour of cleaning up a mess.


good times.

he was so hung over the next morning we couldnt go to another friends grandparents house for this big bbq with everyone & i spent the day watching tv in the hotel while he slept.

you dated hedcold?

i think he's pete reincarnated.

only pete's not dead he's just a lazy bum.