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Full Version: The Random Galt & Gonzo Childhood Memories Thread
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word is bond, sicilian bitches are like little fuckin gorillas but without the cute personality traits.
They should at least attempt to tame the wild bush.

One gf was 100% Italian with Born Again parents. She was great at sucking and fucking, but damn it, could never go down on her due to the odor problem. She was also an extremely jealous chick. A girl who I was close friends with was turning eighteen and her mom asked me to keep her out until everything was set for a surprise party. We were drinking, smoking and snorting (hey it was the 80's) and when I dropped her off to pick up my gf, we got into a huge fight. She didn't want to go home because she was so toasted, I said "Tough shit, get out." She slammed the door and screamed she never wanted to see me ever again. I came back an hour or so later with my gf and she was hugging me and saying how sorry she was, this caused my to get a little bonkers. Had to cut her lose, due to her issues.

In my experience, the ones that have the least amount of hair taste the sweetest. One gf had little to no hair on her arms legs or twat. Loved to munch on box for hours and hours. One night driving around with her I was finger banging her for a couple of hours. It was great she was so wet and every time a big "O" hit she's twitch a little. I had my thumb on the nub almost the whole time. The bad part is after we broke up she went into slut mode.

She also got popped for a DWI after nearly killing her bf when her car flipped over and put him in a coma.
The very first girl I had sex with, I went down on her before anything began. Cause I knew I was gonna nut in like 2 seconds, plus I had gotten some snazzy tips on giving bitches head. Anyway I had no clue what it was supposed to smell or taste like but it was fuckin wretched and hairy, it just tasted like piss and rotten cow tounge. I was literally like starting to gag after 5 minutes and had to stop. I was doing my best not to fuckin gag and thankfully after like 10 minutes her legs were quivering and her cunt was contracting like a jews wallet when the check comes. So then the kicker was she said she wouldnt suck my dick cause thats just wrong!!!

Then later I found out that pussy aint supposed to be like that.

So next time I ran into some rancid pussy and she asked why I dont go down on her, I just stuck my finger in and then put it under her nose and just said "would you lick on that?".

Gotta let these bitches know, I mean if you try to keep your balls lemony fresh, bitch keep the pussy clean.
Whatever happened to common courtesy?

But, FYI seaty balls don't taste like a slice of heaven either.
thats my point bitch, I said if you make the effort to keep your balls and cock fresh, bitch better have her pussy smelling like a field of lillies.
How was your cousin's hygeine by the way?
I didnt suck his dick but he complimented how nice my cock looked, so I assume it was ok.
That's awesome
Maybe you guys should stop dating half Ewoks.
it woulda been more awesome if I could busted a fat fuckin load in his mouth and not just lay there feeling all awkward.
Only a handful the chicks I've dated were good at sucking cock. One was like a freaking porn star with her technique, she'd take the head in her mouth while slobbering it up with spit and jack it till you exploded in her mouth. She'd never spit either.

Only road head was from a Jewish gf as I'm taking her to the airport. I was fingering her two-thirds of the way and she had come a couple of times. My cock was aching and I asked her to help me out. She said "I'm Jewish I don't do that..." I said "you do now..." and with that she was blowing me. Wasn't bad at it either, she did spit. Then to top it we banged in the parking lot before the flight, which she was almost late for. I never asked her or begged for BJ's, because I prefer to bust a nut inside the vagina. However, a month or so later she did wake me up with her mouth on my cock, guess she wanted to feel a soft cock get throbbing hard. I was surprised that she swallowed when I nutted without complaint and actually enjoyed it.

One gf made the mistake of trying to clear the launch pad as the load blasted into her nose/eye, and she had contacts.
That would be the epitome of awesomeness. Does your whole family get together for Thanksgiving? There may still be hope?
What's clearing the launch pad mean?
Abster Wrote:That would be the epitome of awesomeness. Does your whole family get together for Thanksgiving? There may still be hope?

yeah if one point has been made clear its that I have really no family and that which I do have, we're not the get together type.

Plus my cousin is not allowed to leave his state and im not going to fuckin jersey anyway.
It would be clear if I had read anything that was posted prior to me getting here. I'm way too busy for that.
funsnapsdyno Wrote:What's clearing the launch pad mean?

Moving her head away from the orgasming cock.
Abster Wrote:It would be clear if I had read anything that was posted prior to me getting here. I'm way too busy for that.

or by reading the fuckin posts in this thread, if I had a fuckin family besides my abusive uncle, my absentee mother and cocksucker cousin, maybe I wouldnt have all these awful fuckin tales.
But what fun would that be?
Mad Wrote:
funsnapsdyno Wrote:What's clearing the launch pad mean?

Moving her head away from the orgasming cock.

that analogy's terrible !
I've never understood the spitting thing. It would gross me out more to spit it on a clean surface rather than just swallow it.

<b>!!!GIRLS SHOULDNT READ THIS!!!</b>


Anyways, Spring last year i went to visit my "friend" down in DC. When it was time to wind down we both changed for bed but somewhere along the way we started fooling around(which wasnt something unexpected but we ground ruled no sex).

Anyways, he starts spanking me and i keep egging him on that he hits like a bitch, laughing the entire time. SO it progressed harder and harder until i guess he got really frustrated that we weren't going to fuck so he starts jerking off and comes all over my back and ass, then precedes to work it into my skin until i pull his hand away and lap at it, sucking along his fingers.

The next two days i woke up before him and i was getting bored just laying there so i got int he spooning position and started rubbing between his legs until he finally woke up. It was actually the first id ever been THAT forward in wanting to blow someone but then and even now i kinda "crave" it in a sense but only when i think of him.

So yeah, the first morning he was about to come and went to jerk his hips back but i dove back in and kept sucking until he came in my mouth. Then i sat up and kissed him really hard.
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