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Full Version: The Random Galt & Gonzo Childhood Memories Thread
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Why would he make it up?
Poor people tend to live in clusters.
I'll do a random childhood memory..

I was about 3 or 4 years old. I gathered some toys, walked past my Mom and brother in the kitchen towards the basement. They asked where I was going and I said I was running away so they laughed thinking "that was cute".

So I went down the basement and out the back door. My parents didn't realize until later that night that I wasn't playing downstairs. I was running away with the boy across the street. He said he wanted to and I told him I'd go too. It sounded liked a good idea at the time. My Dad found me a few blocks away on a street I was told to never go to. I got an ass whooping when we got home and I was never allowed to play with the boy across the street again. It was all his fault anyway !
For those of who don't know Bradlees, it was like a store in Massachusetts that was like Walmart, similar to K-Mart. It was obviously smaller than Walmart, but they would sell everything under the sun. They also has a clothes section. It was considered the lamest thing on earth to buy clothes at Bradlees.

Well one when I was in 7th or 8th grade, I was walking around Bradlees with my mother and sister - my mother needed some random shit.

I was roaming around and I saw these really funny "Rude Dog" seatshirt. It was white and had this picture of this really edgy looking dog. Think "Poochy" from The Simpsons. He was like Spuds Mackenzie with rabies. He was on a skateboard and there was angry colors all over the place. It was just really cool looking.

So I had my mom buy it; I figure, what the hell, it's cool and no one will know where I got it from.

Everyone from the school is just sitting outside waiting for the bell to wring, as I get off the bus. I start walking to my friends, and someone yells, RUDE DOG! and them people start looking, them other people yell it, "Oh My God! RUDE DOG! YES!" People are grabbing at it and pointing and can't contain themselves. Apparantly Rude Dog was a staple Bradlees brand and everyone in the know, knew about it.

I was mortified, but I refused to admit that I got it from Bradlees. "No", I said. "I got this from Filenes for $31". Everyone laughed harder. They all knew it was bullshit. And for the rest of the year, whenever anyone had anything stupid on or did anything lame, or just at random times in the lunchroom, people would say "I got it at Filenes! FOR $31!!!!!"

Luckily, I had a spare (clean) shirt in my gym locker, and changed into that (it was a yellow Reebok shirt).

From then on, all I wore was Vuarnet and Co-Ed Naked shirts so as to blend in.
Luna Wrote:sugar sammiches and taping garbage bags to the outside of your window for santa???

COME ON, MAN!!

yeah, there are poor people in the world who considered having a warm place to live to be a fuckin blessing and learn to make due with what they have and not what they don't.

and sugar sandwiches are like fuckin I don't know, its like fillet mignon in the ghetto, everyone knows sugar sandwiches, I am amazed its so surprising to people. Obviously syrup sandwiches are king but you dont always have syrup around but sugar and bread are pretty much cheap and common around the home.
They had sugar sandwiches in Married...with Children. And I've heard of them elsewhere from black comedians.

I just think it's so sad to the point of humor.
Galt Wrote:For those of who don't know Bradlees, it was like a store in Massachusetts that was like Walmart, similar to K-Mart. It was obviously smaller than Walmart, but they would sell everything under the sun. They also has a clothes section. It was considered the lamest thing on earth to buy clothes at Bradlees.

Well one when I was in 7th or 8th grade, I was walking around Bradlees with my mother and sister - my mother needed some random shit.

I was roaming around and I saw these really funny "Rude Dog" seatshirt. It was white and had this picture of this really edgy looking dog. Think "Poochy" from The Simpsons. He was like Spuds Mackenzie with rabies. He was on a skateboard and there was angry colors all over the place. It was just really cool looking.

So I had my mom buy it; I figure, what the hell, it's cool and no one will know where I got it from.

Everyone from the school is just sitting outside waiting for the bell to wring, as I get off the bus. I start walking to my friends, and someone yells, RUDE DOG! and them people start looking, them other people yell it, "Oh My God! RUDE DOG! YES!" People are grabbing at it and pointing and can't contain themselves. Apparantly Rude Dog was a staple Bradlees brand and everyone in the know, knew about it.

I was mortified, but I refused to admit that I got it from Bradlees. "No", I said. "I got this from Filenes for $31". Everyone laughed harder. They all knew it was bullshit. And for the rest of the year, whenever anyone had anything stupid on or did anything lame, or just at random times in the lunchroom, people would say "I got it at Filenes! FOR $31!!!!!"

Luckily, I had a spare (clean) shirt in my gym locker, and changed into that (it was a yellow Reebok shirt).

From then on, all I wore was Vuarnet and Co-Ed Naked shirts so as to blend in.

That story made me happy on the inside, not in a mean way its just so good.

Actually I was reading over some of mine and they have brought back more similar memories. Like the one I told about my klepto addiction, I think I can pinpoint that to my mom actually.

One summer, we actually went on a little vacation with one of the guys she was fucking that week. We went to a bungalow he had in upstate, monticello I think. So they had a Jamesway (sp?) store there, I dont know if it's a chain or not but its a big dept store like k-mart which sold everything. My mom used to fuckin go there 5-6 times a day and just fuckin rob them. This was back in the day so it's like 85, I dont think they had those security things at the door, so it was easier. She'd steal like the cheap jewelry, panties, glasses, etc.

No matter what I said or begged, she would never ever take anything for me. One time she stole the cassete tape for the Rocky 4 soundtrack for me and I complained that she took it out of the case and only stole the tape, I wanted to case with the picture and she yelled at me and never took anything else for me.

So next time I figured fuck it, ill steal for myself. So I started small and found these transformers, which were lame cause they transformed into micro cassetes, for like the recorders, but it was just a test run anyway. So I took them out of the packages and put them in my shoes, it was a fuckin uncomfortable walk to the door but I made it.

From then on, I needed that sweet taste of victory more often!!!

so its all her fault
My father took me fishingon a boat that sailed out of Long Island when I was about 10 or so. I was so excited because it was an late night trip and it was the first time I had ever gone fishing for bluefish. After about an hour or so, I felt the line pull. I tried with all my might to pull it in, but it was impossible since I was the proverbial 90 pound weakling. My dad, after basically calling me a wuss, grabbed the rod from me. But even he had a hell of a time pulling in the fish. It turned out that my fish was the biggest caught that day and I won about $100.00.

So:Catching the biggest fish that day = + $100.00

Getting to crow that even my dad had trouble pulling that fish in = priceless
Galt Wrote:They had sugar sandwiches in Married...with Children. And I've heard of them elsewhere from black comedians.

I just think it's so sad to the point of humor.

luna just hates poor people
I got caught stealing once. I was a sophomore.

I had broken my foot playing hockey, but still went to the away games with the team. One day before the bus was supposed to leave, a couple teammates and I went to the corner store to grab some food.

I picked up a couple things, and grabbed a big white chocolate Nestle's bar (one of the HUGE ones, like a foot long) and slipped it in the newspaper I was holding (Hockey Night in Boston - it had news coverage about all the Massachusetts high school hockey teams) as well as a few other things. I was also using crutches, so I was a bit clumsy doing so.

I went to the counter, the broad asked me "Is this it", I said "yup" and right afterwards, this other girl grabbed the paper away from me and yelled "what about this!", blah blah, I denied it, said I brought it with me or something. Paid for my other stuff, and then went to the bus.

About 20 minutes later, my coach walked on the bus and told me to get off, called me in the office, told me that the fucking cunt-whore at the store made it a point to tell him when he went in that, someone from the team tried to steal from her - I was easy to describe since I was on crutches.

He wouldn't let me go to the game, said they'd have to straighten it out. The bus left without us, he walked me to the store, I denied it again in front of her, she was furious. I just kept denying denying, and poof. It was all over.

I think I even got an apology from her.
This memory has always bothered me because of how close I came to completely ruining my life on this one, from pure stupidity.

I used to hang out with this kid Jack and Jack was the type of friend who you needed to have around the way. Jack was the guy you really were nervous about hanging with, especially alone, cause he was frightening like that. At the same time you loved having a friend like him, cause if shit goes down, he's fuckin psycho.

One time our friend Tony got into some beef with a dude over some bullshit at the bar we used to hang at, Dixies in brooklyn. I saw the most gruesome shit ever that day. Jack grabs one guy and delivers the greatest punch I have ever witnessed in my life. He cocks him with a right hook and this guys body goes limp and as he is falling, Jack catches him by the shirt and fuckin lays into the side of his face again, it was a split second thing but it was beautiful. Then came the most repugnant shit ever, we're all just fuckin beating on these 3 fuckin spics (there were 4 but only 3 left at that point). Finally Tony grabs up the one kid who is giving him all this stress and he fuckin says some psuedo tough guy shit to him and tells him to split. The problem is Jack hasnt had enough, he fuckin pounds down a shot and another and another and just says "fuck it!!!". He runs outside after this kid and we figure, let him go, so we're looking out the front window and jack steps up to this kid and with his bare hands, rips his ears off. I mean literally, ripped his fuckin ears off.... his ears!!!! Like that feeling of, oh man your balls just start to hurt, thats how awful it was.

But anyway, one time I got a little drunk on some awful bullshit he had in the house and he had a bunch of guns laid out. So me being the dick I was, I picked up one of the guns and actually cocked it. I started waving it around like a fuckin nimrod and the fuckin thing went off and whizzed by his head. Naturally this could have ruined my life in two ways. One, he coulda just killed me on the spot after that, which thank god he didnt. Two, I coulda killed him and ended up a fuckin prag. Such a dumb fuckin thing to do, and thankfully it happened as it did but amazing how a split second could change your life so much.
How are you not a sick fucking maniac?
^ ^

for reals !
The Prodigal Son Wrote:How are you not a sick fucking maniac?

I mean maybe this will help people realize why I am the way I am, i'm a fuckin maniac but it's so obvious I coulda like turned out to be john wayne gacy, so easily. I think honestly it was because I saw what all of these things do to people and thats why I stopped drinking and honestly I was never big on drinking because of all the alcoholics around me. I never did drugs, cept that one time I smoked weed with danked and I held out on that till I was like 25 or 26. Because I have seen what drugs do to people and how they end up. I was tempted to do a lot of knucklehead shit as a kid, cause the money was so easy but except for some minor shit, I stayed away because once again I saw what happens to people like that. So while I am glad to not know 90% of the people from my youth anymore, I thank them for showing me the perfect plan of what NOT to do in life.

But anyway, another really awesome childhood memory!!

My mom took me to toys "r" us to pick up a present for some kid she was goin to a party for, naturally for other kids she shops at toys r us, for me I get shit from 'Pico's corner mart/toys/beer/churros". Anyway, she figures to get me some school supplies while we are there, for back to school time. She I get the binder, some pens, some folders, etc. So she takes the binder and she clips the folders inside and puts the pens in the inside pocket, so the cashier in their nigger blindness would miss it maybe.

So we get to the register and I was such a little honest fucker at the time, I had no clue what she was doing, so I didnt do it with any malice but when the cashier scanned the binder, i said "excuse me miss, my mommy put the folders in there too"....... oh my god, I thought my mom was gonna murder me on the spot, she had this look on her face, the look I imagine a hitman gets right before he kills you. So the cashier says something like "ooh my what an honest son you have" and she says it so sarcastically and gave my mom a look like, "you thieving bitch I know what you did!!!!".

Oh man for the rest of the fuckin week my mom had me in tears and everything I asked her for, she had the same answer for...


mom can I get some...

GET THAT NIGGER BITCH FROM TOYS R US TO GET IT FOR YOU, SHES YOUR NEW MOMMY!!!

but mom I really need

IM NOT YOU MOM ANYMORE, THAT BLACK CASHIER BITCH IS, GO ON AND ASK HER!!!

:cries: but mommy im sorry

YOU SNITCH!!!
stool pigeon!
I was such a little fuckin narc, fuckin sold moms out!!!

Yeah even the following months she still held me in contempt for that shit, thankfully she was almost never around.

Losing your salary on those scratch offs and poker slots takes a lot of time ya know!!!
are you sure there is no exaggeration in these stories?!
GonzoStyle Wrote:
Galt Wrote:They had sugar sandwiches in Married...with Children. And I've heard of them elsewhere from black comedians.

I just think it's so sad to the point of humor.

luna just hates poor people
that's not true, I was raised in a poor enviornment myself and I could hardly claim being rich now.
funsnapsdyno Wrote:are you sure there is no exaggeration in these stories?!

I vouch for mine and I have some that are so far out that I wont even bother cause I know no one will believe them, luna doesnt even believe sugar sandwiches and taped shopping bags outside my window.
Luna Wrote:
GonzoStyle Wrote:
Galt Wrote:They had sugar sandwiches in Married...with Children. And I've heard of them elsewhere from black comedians.

I just think it's so sad to the point of humor.

luna just hates poor people
that's not true, I was raised in a poor enviornment myself and I could hardly claim being rich now.

Your definition of poor may be a bit different from mine then, especially if you never had sugar sandwiches.
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