I don't want my family anywhere near me. Or any of that disgusting food.
Tell them stories from the random memories thread and make them your own, that should scatter a few.
tell them their vaginas have teeth or tell them yours has teeth. either way they won't come near you
faceman802 Wrote:tell them their vaginas have teeth or tell them yours has teeth. either way they won't come near you
the fact that marias vagina has teeth is common knowlege.
I promise I will gain at least 5 pounds this weekend.
I'm gonna have some of that boars head pepper turkey on whole wheat and im breakin out the onions and tomatos!
It's not even extended family, it's all immediate and it's all horrific.
My mom will pretend to act like a mom for 6 or 7 hours. My brother will pretend to be nice. My other brother probably wont show up and if he does he'll be hopped up on pills and hid girlfriend probably wont even come or bring my nephew.
AWESOOOOOOOOOME.
Hawt Baux Wrote:It's not even extended family, it's all immediate and it's all horrific.
My mom will pretend to act like a mom for 6 or 7 hours. My brother will pretend to be nice. My other brother probably wont show up and if he does he'll be hopped up on pills and hid girlfriend probably wont even come or bring my nephew.
AWESOOOOOOOOOME.
oh man, thats like "home for the holidays" with robert downey jr but not as funny.
an underappreciate holiday classic may I add
It's so sad it's amusing.
Well, no, it's funny because we're white trash.
No, it's pretty unfortunate.
Hawt Baux Wrote:Meh.
I have a card here that proves we are friends!!!!
it's a matter of perception
Yeah I have like zero family and we don't get together cause someone always ends up crying, getting stabbed with a fork in their glasses or pregnant.
GonzoStyle Wrote:Yeah I have like zero family and we don't get together cause someone always ends up crying, getting stabbed with a fork in their glasses or pregnant.
and I'm the redneck
yeah you are, cause we dont listen to country music and only fuck distant cousins.
Plus when we fight, its gangsta!
GonzoStyle Wrote:yeah you are, cause we dont listen to country music and only fuck distant cousins.
Plus when we fight, its gangsta!
The hatfields and mccoys were gangsta
redneck gangsta.
Plus we always had the entertaining "whose life is more depressing contest" where mainly the drunk and hopped up women would try to one up eachother on how awful their lives are.
then they'd compare prescription and non prescription drugs... ooh yeah well I snort coke off my newborns ass, on the sabbath!
Then the guys would like arm wrestle or do other feats of strength, till it ended up personal and someone got stabbed with whatever was on the table.
Then before you know it, everyones all worked up and horny.